I agree with him but to a point.
As an SO, he should be supportive of you.
However, you also need to learn to live within your budget and his harping on you about paying him back is exactly what creditors are going to do and they will not be as nice about it. He wants you to learn fiscal responsibility. If you don't, you are going to be in trouble - your relationship will devolve into fighting over money which kills many many relationships... and then once he's gone, you'll be on your own and possibly drowning in debt and unable to save yourself.
Learn this:
Men want partners.
They don't want projects or damsels in distress.
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OK, I am off my soapbox now. My own wife and I are having issues like this and it frustrates the shit out of me that she can't say "No" to spending. Fortunately, we both make decent money, but we should have a lot more saved and we don't because we spend OCEANS of cash on her hobbies and animals. I don't plan on getting divorced, but, if we broke up, she'd be fucked and I could retire as a millionaire... maybe. Right now, I am on a path of working until I die... which is likely soon.
So, it's OK to have to ask for $20 or $50 at times, but not if it is often or if the $20 or $50 is on something unnecessary or not urgent.
>> You need $50 for gas to drive to work? Sure, here's $50.
>> You need $50 to buy a special kitchen appliance that's on-sale and normally $300? Sure.
>> You need $50 to buy a blouse for a job interview? OK.
>> You need $50 to buy 2 pizzas for an all-girls get-together at your place? Annoying.
>> You need $50 to pay the bills on your streaming services? Irresponsible!
You sound like a useless gold digger. $50 and he "should just let it slide?" WTF? What does he even get from you? Sex? Comfort? Cooked meals? I'm willing to bet you aren't providing him with anything he can't get from another woman. I know it says you're young and all, but have you ever even had a job before? Have you had to work to earn $50 before? For some people, that's like five hours worth of labor?
You sound like a gold digger/sugar baby, but not even one with self awareness, in fact. You're a stranger to me, and you're telling the story here, and you still look like the asshole, here. And good on him; he's a smart man not to let a woman take advantage of him like that!
Honestly, you two should just break up. He should find someone who values his time and labor better, and you should just go on OF already, or become an e-thot. Everyone would probably be happier.
Sure, you can tell him, but if you're asking to "borrow" money, then the expectation is that you "pay it back." If you want him to "give" you money, then ASK him to GIVE you money. Then there is no expectation of payback.
What I don't understand is why YOU expect to use your boyfriend as a free money machine. Why are you asking him for money? Are you not paid enough at your job? If that is the case, then why don't you seek to get a job where you are paid more in line with your value and skills. Then there would be no reason for you to borrow anything from him.
The other thing I find annoying about YOUR attitude is that you expect a man who is not your father or husband to supply you with extra money when you feel you need or want it: As if you deserve an allowance from him for the simple fact that he makes more than you.
I think you're the one with the issue and you need to get your mind right about money.
Borrow - take / use something that belongs to someone else with intent of returning it.
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When you borrow or are lent money you're supposed to pay it back. When you get older banks will happily repossess your house & car if you don't pay back what is borrowed.
Stop bitching & prove you're decent. Not someone your boyfriend should dump.
Opinion
103Opinion
Girl pay him back! It’s the right to do. It may not be a lot of money but it’s about the principle.
Besides, you don’t want to give him any reason to hold anything over your head or act like you owe him.
u If you don't want to repay it, them why do you use the word "borrow?"
If it's such a small amount, it shouldn't bother you to pay it back. Furthermore, he shouldn't have to ask you for it, you should just keep track and pay it back as agreed.
A gift is a gift and a loan is a loan. If you agree it is a loan you have a duty and obligation to pay it back as agreed with no animosity. Instead you should be grateful that he was generous enough to lend you the money.
So should you tell him? No. You should change your attitude because he did nothing wrong.
Did you ever stop to think that it pisses him off that he always has to lend you money and nag you to return it? A loan is a loan. Stop asking to borrow money if you don't intend to pay it back. Just because he is your partner, doesn't mean he is your personal bank. How would you feel if he was constantly asking you for money and then didn't want to pay it back? I bet you would be single pretty fast.
You asked to borrow. He believes you're an honest person and not trying to manipulate him into giving you something... OR he knows you have an entitlement attitude and he doesn't want to feed it so it becomes even worse.
What would happen if he gave you a bunch of money and never wanted it paid back? Most likely you would then waste more money and expect even more money from him. You'd be spending outside of your means. If that's not your plan then you wouldn't have a problem paying him back.
And why should he be your ATM? You're not married.
u Why should he let it slide? If you borrow money, you pay it back. Period. If you’re going to use him as a bank, he has every right to behave like one and dun you until you pay it back. So pay it back, and manage your money so you don’t have to borrow again.
I would feel terrible if I had to ask for money and never paid it back. You’re not his wife, you are only a girlfriend. I think it’s okay to ask for the money back. It’s the least you can do since he let you borrow it I don’t see your side as a winning argument 🌸
Forgive me but if you are borrowing money from your boyfriend, you should be wanting to pay it back anyway.
It's one thing if he buys you a gift but if you are coming to him, saying "hey, I need $50 for this," then that's not really a gift.
I'd just be happy that he loans you money if you need it. A lot of us can't get men to even buy dinner!
You're not his wife. And even wives should not abuse the privilege. If you argue it's "fair" because of sex, then congratulations: you're a prostitute.
What do you need all that money for anyway? Groceries? Marry him. And get some work from home position. Consider having a kid or two to eventually help out around the house.
Lottery? Trying to rip someone off to manipulate the government into making you rich with a ticket that isn't worth jack earnings 9 times out of 10? That's a good way to start a pattern that could land you in prison. I hope you don't live in Arkansas. According to Jessica Kent, Arkansas is one of the worst.
Please tell me you at least came here clean, and not after chugging scotch while getting the 305 Menthol ash out of your stringy hair, and cursing at your fishnets coming undone. Because I see that crap almost every day at a Florida gas station.
See, this type of situation is why I don't do the whole "splitting expenses" thing with women; it always turns into score keeping. I don't like keeping scores. I would rather just pay for everything. I don't have to think about whether or not she's going to pay me, and she doesn't have to worry about me thinking she will.
The word "borrow" implies that you are going to pay him back, and because of the structure of your relationship, you are footing at least some of the expense, so it's not like his expectation is unreasonable. You can tell him that his attitude bothers you if you want, but you'd be better off either changing what you say when you ask for money, or change your relationship dynamic.
I mean.. You're "borrowing" correct?
And what is the definition of that?
Next time when you ask for money make sure to emphasize that you're asking to have it and have no intention on paying him back. Then he can decide if he wants to give it to you or not.
But when you "borrow " something that usually entails paying them back.
I think you should. I think it's important to share your honest opinions in a relationship even if the opinions sound stupid or the opinions sound rude you never know how someone will react if you never tell them so they will keep assuming nothing is a problem even though you think it's a problem or you think something should be changed. That's actually my entire self concept, if you can make a convincing argument to me why you feel I should change something or why my attitude towards something is wrong in your opinion I will probably make a change instead of constantly trying to argue with you or I will respectfully disagree and give you the reasons why I don't agree.
u How often do you ask him for money? If he's already paying the larger portion, and you're frequently asking to borrow money, then I can understand why it would upset him.
I wouldn't like the idea of dating someone that was always asking to borrow money, either. If we were married, and I knew going into it that I was supporting her, then that would be different.
If I was dating someone who, I'm assuming, has a job, and pays her own bills, then I would be a bit miffed that she was asking to borrow money because she can't afford herself, especially if I was already shouldering the greater financial cost of dating.
I don't know the specifics of your situation, though, so that may not apply. If it's once every six months, for example, then I wouldn't necessarily care.
Are you sharing a bank account and about to be married? If not then it’s his money that he earned and have every right to expect it back. Now the part of paying more on dates okay I can understand that since it sounds like he trying to be a gentleman but the word borrow literally means take and use (something that belongs to someone else) with the intention of returning it. if you want him to let that money slide then I hope he doesn’t get to the point he let you slide out of his life and find someone else who will treat him with more respect.
No. You are the definition of entitled. He owes you nothing and is obviously attempting to teach you some amount of financial responsibility. Many guys would be more than happy to encourage your behavior so that they could use it to control you. I can only hope for your sake that, he is more successful in doing so than your parents were.
Is he your boyfriend or your piggybank? If you ask for money, you should expect to have to pay it back. You don't have to pay back when he deliberately say you don't have to, or if he offers you money himself. Also, 20-50 isn't low amounts of money to casually give, <5 bucks is.
His attitude is correct. He doesn't want some leech using his money like that. You also used the word BORROW. Borrowing something literally means that you use something from someone and will return that later to that person.
Maybe you shouldn't call it "borrowing". Why do you have to mooch off of him? It sounds like you are spending money you don't have, and expecting him to make up the difference. Where's your self-respect? You are just dating, you aren't married or living together.
Yeah no. You're borrowing that implies paying him back. You're just being a shitty girlfriend who wnats to mooch off her man
I would say that is your mistake if you boring you are expected to pay back if you do not want to pay back so you should say “would you mind giving me 50$ please?” Then you do not need to pay back duh
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