Should I fight for her back?

Question

I hope to get some good information. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years, all this time she as been away at university. I have recently finished with her because of the way she treated me, we have broken up 3 times in the last year each time lasting 2/3 weeks. We argue a lot for example when she is home at weekends she would rather be with her friends and I feel I have spend the last five years waiting for her. When she is back she stayed at my house, more recently I was going to buy a new house and put it in both our names. My girlfriend and her mum wanted to collect all her stuff such as bits of furniture at keep it at her mums until I moved. As my girlfriend was going to move in with me properly I questioned why they called it her stuff and not our stuff. She has done other stuff like booking a holiday me not included. I struggle to find her commitment  and find my self dumping her all the time trying to get a reaction. I help my family a lot and she hated me doing thing, she always puts her friends first. I love her and feel I have wasted 5 good young years of my life. She is a vet and I never have much money I think she feels she can do better then me. Should I try and fight for her, she said we are two different people as I have tried to get her back. Maybe I should just let go.

wkwan81 · Accepted Answer

I think you should let go. It's obvious that you love her very much, hence the breaking up and getting back together, but at the same time the way you describe the relationship, you don't feel completely fulfilled and also frustrated/disappointed. You also mention about wasting 5 years of your life...I wouldn't necessary call it a waste, but a good life and learning experience. However, to the point that you said "waste" of 5 years or feel that way, then why would you want to invest more time and energy into the relationship...do you want to waste another year or two or wait another five years for her?

Also, she has said to you that your guys are "two different" people. That in itself sounds like she doesn't want to be with you anymore and that your differences are inreconcilable. You're also making yourself too available to her and makes her take advantage and de-value you. You break up with her but always chase her back...has she ever begged you to get back with her? Quite honestly, this relationship sounds a little one sided, you're doing all the giving and effort, but she is not giving the equal share back. If you've broken up three times in one year, that in itself is telling you something. Stop being blinded by your love for her and open your eyes and look at the relationship for what it is.

Anyway, you should try and do what your heart tells you, sometimes it is hard we want to hold onto something, when we know there is nothing there and it is not the same again, but we should let go if we feel that is the best thing to do. What does your heart tell you? Can you see yourself having a future with her? Do you think things will change? Of has things just deteriorated even more eahc time you break up?

CelloChum · Accepted Answer

Sometime you have to realize that love just isn't enough. It seems like your values, ideals, and plans clash a lot; if it's going to work, there has to be sacrifices -- from both people.

If I were you, I'd try to move on and stop contacting her. Also watch out for the feeling like you miss her; a lot of the time that feeling is just plain loneliness, not actually her that you miss.

"The problem with romance is there are no second chances." But who knows, maybe by growing apart that you two will end up wanting each other again. Note that I didn't say what you had because you can't go back to what it was, but can make it into something better.

Good luck and be strong :)

emerald77 · Accepted Answer

If you really love her, then this is obviously going to be a very hard thing to do, but you need to let her go. No one deserves to be treated that like that. Also, if you wanted to really marry her, then I would say fight for her, but then again, why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone like that? You seem like such a good person, and she definitely does not. I say you should move on and let time take its course. When the time is right, you will heal from all the pain she has inflicted into your life, and you will find some else, someone who you would acyually want to spend the rest of your life with. Good luck!

Drake742 · Accepted Answer

Leave her worthless ass, you can do so much better than her bro,I agree with you, you have asted 5 years of your life on her. She makes women look bad, don't waste anymore time, energy, or money on her. YOU can do better than her, not the other way around.

MercZilla · Answer

Leave her alone.She obviously doesn't love and appreciated you as much as you do for her. relationships are about giving and taking. It seems like all she's been doing is taking you for granted. You've waited for her for so long, she thinks your always going to be there. So get up and leave, avoid her and don't go back. there's someone better out there who will love you equally and unconditionally but that girl does not sound like the one.

someone37 · Answer

Let go.

it will be better for u, and beside if she said your two different people just show you she doesn't think you're a good match For her.

Also an on and off relationship is from the beginning a problem, and never work out in the end.

erekmax · Answer

don't think she's worth fighting for.

MahJaY · Answer

HELL NO, If I could I would slap you right now.

Should I fight for her back?

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