Should I talk to my brother about his dislike toward my fiance?

[Anonymous]

So we split but got back together, we're engaged. The rest of my family are fine with it but my brother says stuff. He's like "he can go to hell" and "he's an asshole" to me and I tell him jot to say that. It makes me uncomfortable, like he had relationship problems too but I never disliked his girlfriends. I feel I should talk to him, but honestly it seems it won't help.

[ohshee]

When you're in a relationship with somebody one of the worst things you can do is talk to your parents your family whomever about that person because once you say one thing negative they're going to take that it turned everything into negative so you really have to be careful what you say and it also depends on who your family is most families don't like the person you're with anyway so they're going to be negative anyway I found the best way for everybody to get along his don't say anything to anybody about anybody let them figure it out themselves and it usually turns out better

[MTC29]

BTDT. I admit that when I first met my future BIL, I had no use for him. I honesty thought that he was totally wrong for my sister, and told her so. Her answer was always "I'm sorry you feel that way," and she left it at that.

Well, I was totally wrong about him. They've been married for 32 years and he has been a wonderful husband for my sister and an amazing father for my niece and nephew (both of whom I adore). 25 years ago I maned up and apologized to him. He told me that he had no idea. Even so, I knew what I had said and he was due an apology.

Long story short (which I'm not good at), other than to say "I'm sorry you feel that way," and move forward with your relationship. Do not sit down for a heart to heart with your brother, as it will change nothing.

[Coulis]

Yes you should. Take him out get him his favorite thing be as sweet as syrup and calmly ask him why he thinks he is an a******* and whatever pejorative term he has for him. Ask him to list the reasons why.

[OlderAndWiser]

When you are in a relationship and you have problems, NEVER tell your family anything that is happening. They will feel protective and start hating the guy. Then you reconcile, but they still hate him and it makes your life very difficult. . . see?

[caring__1]

Say to him, "I'm always open to learning, so if you have specific concerns about my fiance, please let me know. The negative statements only put me on the defensive. I'd rather hear your true feelings. Please understand, though, my preferences won't always fall in line with your preferences. Let's not judge each other on our differences; let's celebrate what connects us." The key is to seek an understanding from him rather than talk at him. Just as you don't like him talking at you, he won't be receptive to you talking at him.

[lucas262]

I'm in the opposite situation. Telling my brother to leave his girlfriend then he got her pregnant, text book narcissist, emotionally abusive, takes 0 accountability, is bad with her responsibilities. Both of them don fucked up. Wish them the absolute best hope im wrong and it all works out but I'm out of it. Wasn't my business anyways

[Anonymous]

Did you by any chance offload your problems on your family? Now he has a bad opinion of him.
In any case, your brother needs to stay out of it and be respectful. Your partner is your choice for better or worse. You might need to advise your brother of this if your sibling relationship is to continue.

[Anonymous]

Did you try to find out why thinks like that about him? Maybe he is right?

Were you his big sister and always been his go to person and he lost that, when you got with your boyfriend? As in that case he has some attachment issues or whatever shrinks call it...

You should talk to him about it.

[Shihab91]

well if talking to him didn't work let someone else close to him talk ( maybe your mom , dad ) if that didn't work, and you felt it's hopeless then ignore him. he should be happy for you as long as you are happy

[Hadesheim]

Seems like a shitty brother,. you can try talking to him I fon't think you have a choice

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your brother became pretty good with getting a girlfriend quite early in life

[KrakenAttackin]

Maybe you should listen to your brother.

[Gosselinfan]

Sounds like he’s being protective

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Yeah