Found something I didn't like in boyfriend's diary, should I confront him?

Question

So, been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and I've been asking him for his passwords for about a year now, as I personally believe that we are at that stage, and we should not have any secrets from each other, and that if there's nothing to hide there's ZERO reason not to share.

He kept telling me no, he's not ready yet, and to stop asking.

I wondered what he might be hiding, so I admit to reading the last few pages of his diary, and something a few months back REALLY pissed me off - basically "she keeps asking me for my passwords, even after I ask her not to, so now everytime she asks I'm going to delay it 3 months before I consider it, current expected date is early 2022".

I'm f-cking FURIOUS at this, should I confront him and what do I say if he gets pissy that I read his diary?

GoldenAxer · Accepted Answer

Private affair is a separate matter from secret. I close the door and lock it when I do a poop because I don't want my wife or anything else to see me do a poop. I even spray with an air freshener after I finish to mask the smell. It's not a conspiracy. I am not doing anything weird in the bathroom. I know there's a possibility that I could be doing all sorts of things in there but I'm really just going #2. People gotta trust me on this if they respect my privacy. Same thing with my passwords.

If you can't trust your boyfriend with his sense of privacy, then I think the problem has more to do with your lack of trust than his desire for some modest level of privacy.

NamerOfStars · Accepted Answer

If you trust one another, there's ZERO reason to insist that he give his passwords to you. If you don't trust him, why are you in a relationship with him?

More to the point, why can you not accept that he doesn't want to do it? He's not an abstract ideal of "boyfriend", he's a human being with his own beliefs and desires. He doesn't exist simply to sate your preconceived notions of what a relationship SHOULD be.

You violate his privacy, go behind his back, and read his diary. You get upset at what you saw while SPYING on him, and expect that confronting him about it will make him want to trust you?

Little_Bumblebee · Accepted Answer

So you got mad that you couldn't violate his right fr privacy... so you violated his privacy?  Damn girl. I would be so pissed if I was him. Maybe even break up

Gwenhwyfar · Accepted Answer

You are in the wrong here. He’s entitled to his privacy. So are you.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Sorry, I am hugely understanding as a person, however I’m happy to show my girlfriend stuff but not my passwords.

you do not need to know.

pre social media, partners did not come home and have to repeat everything they had said and done during the day.

this points to a lack of trust and insecurity.

I would be breaking up

DumBear · Answer

Lmao.
You dont need his passwords and if you can't trust him at all then it won't probably workout. he's made it clear he doesn't want to share them with you and you persist.
He doesn't need to give you that info.

You're furious after breaking his trust further and snooping through a diary? lol.
Smh

God_of_Thunder · Answer

So you invaded his privacy, and still think you have the moral high ground, here? That's a laugh. You deserve to be dumped, and remain single until you're mature enough to be in a relationship.

NathanDavis · Answer

if you want to delay the consideration till the year 3033... then you might as well tell him about this

exitseven · Answer

You violated his trust. Everyone is entitled to some privacy. And relationships that do not have any trust will eventually fail. Forget the diary and stop asking him for his passwords. It is not very attractive.

Anonymous · Answer

He had the perfect response.
And you obviously can't "confront" him and his *legitimate* concerns, but by doing this you validated everything he is concerned about.
To answer the question of who is the asshole in this situation, it's you, it's definitely you.
Chill out.

LisaRaven · Answer

Sounds to me like he has real reasons to not trust YOU. If a guy done that to me, my password would not be the only thing he didn't have.

spartan55 · Answer

Good lord, he needs to dump your insecure crazy ass.

Anonymous · Answer

Only in a ideal world. People change, grow up, want fresh starts.. Anything can be misprocieved. Put a permit blight in the relationship? Why? Let go of the ego, adict obsession. People have boundaries, which is healthy. Stop telling yourself you need, your only going to ruin what you got with him forever. Search girls ask guys about girls who read diaries, its not good news. Go watch a. soap bopper instead..

rcljr · Answer

Be furious, you’re the one with the problem, you’ve been together a while and you don’t trust him. That’s no basis for a relationship.

Yaharro · Answer

Trust is everything a good relationship is only build on trust with no secrets most people only want sexual relationship they don't know the value of trust and real relationship

Andres77 · Answer

If you were digging in my stuff I'd start getting ready to break-up.

jshm2 · Answer

He's only your boyfriend, not you husband. GTFO you control freak.

ItsMeItsMe1989 · Answer

Sorry, wht? you Read his diary? This is why I don't keep diaries. YOU can't TRUST ANYONE

Dog87 · Answer

Fuck yea I'd confront him if he asks about the diary asks him why he even keeps one and you only looked because he's shady.

Anonymous · Answer

There is no 'stage' at which you have access to someone elses passwords.

Anonymous · Answer

This is exactly why i don't keep any diaries. i would dump you for the invasion of privacy 🔏   you're crazy! Red alert ⚠

Anonymous · Answer

Being in a long term relationship does not mean zero privacy. It means you know more stuff than most and you trust the rest.

PoliteSpeaker · Answer

The problem is inside you... Simple.

Browneye57 · Answer

You're a fool. This is going nowhere.

VikingWarLord · Answer

Why the Fuuck are you asking for his passwords?

anylolone · Answer

You just proved his point.

lycanthrope3 · Answer

Why are you reading his diary

Found something I didn't like in boyfriend's diary, should I confront him?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Found something I didn't like in boyfriend's diary, should I confront him?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.