Found something I didn't like in boyfriend's diary, should I confront him?

[Anonymous]

So, been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and I've been asking him for his passwords for about a year now, as I personally believe that we are at that stage, and we should not have any secrets from each other, and that if there's nothing to hide there's ZERO reason not to share.

He kept telling me no, he's not ready yet, and to stop asking.

I wondered what he might be hiding, so I admit to reading the last few pages of his diary, and something a few months back REALLY pissed me off - basically "she keeps asking me for my passwords, even after I ask her not to, so now everytime she asks I'm going to delay it 3 months before I consider it, current expected date is early 2022".

I'm f-cking FURIOUS at this, should I confront him and what do I say if he gets pissy that I read his diary?

[NamerOfStars]

If you trust one another, there's ZERO reason to insist that he give his passwords to you. If you don't trust him, why are you in a relationship with him?

More to the point, why can you not accept that he doesn't want to do it? He's not an abstract ideal of "boyfriend", he's a human being with his own beliefs and desires. He doesn't exist simply to sate your preconceived notions of what a relationship SHOULD be.

You violate his privacy, go behind his back, and read his diary. You get upset at what you saw while SPYING on him, and expect that confronting him about it will make him want to trust you?

[GoldenAxer]

Private affair is a separate matter from secret. I close the door and lock it when I do a poop because I don't want my wife or anything else to see me do a poop. I even spray with an air freshener after I finish to mask the smell. It's not a conspiracy. I am not doing anything weird in the bathroom. I know there's a possibility that I could be doing all sorts of things in there but I'm really just going #2. People gotta trust me on this if they respect my privacy. Same thing with my passwords.

If you can't trust your boyfriend with his sense of privacy, then I think the problem has more to do with your lack of trust than his desire for some modest level of privacy.

[Little_Bumblebee]

So you got mad that you couldn't violate his right fr privacy... so you violated his privacy?
Damn girl.

I would be so pissed if I was him. Maybe even break up

[Gwenhwyfar]

You are in the wrong here. He’s entitled to his privacy. So are you.

[ChrisMaster69]

Sorry, I am hugely understanding as a person, however I’m happy to show my girlfriend stuff but not my passwords.

you do not need to know.

pre social media, partners did not come home and have to repeat everything they had said and done during the day.

this points to a lack of trust and insecurity.

I would be breaking up

[DumBear]

Lmao.
You dont need his passwords and if you can't trust him at all then it won't probably workout. he's made it clear he doesn't want to share them with you and you persist.
He doesn't need to give you that info.

You're furious after breaking his trust further and snooping through a diary? lol.
Smh

[God_of_Thunder]

So you invaded his privacy, and still think you have the moral high ground, here? That's a laugh.

You deserve to be dumped, and remain single until you're mature enough to be in a relationship.

[NathanDavis]

if you want to delay the consideration till the year 3033... then you might as well tell him about this

[exitseven]

You violated his trust. Everyone is entitled to some privacy. And relationships that do not have any trust will eventually fail. Forget the diary and stop asking him for his passwords. It is not very attractive.

[Anonymous]

He had the perfect response.
And you obviously can't "confront" him and his *legitimate* concerns, but by doing this you validated everything he is concerned about.
To answer the question of who is the asshole in this situation, it's you, it's definitely you.
Chill out.

[LisaRaven]

Sounds to me like he has real reasons to not trust YOU. If a guy done that to me, my password would not be the only thing he didn't have.

[spartan55]

Good lord, he needs to dump your insecure crazy ass.

[Anonymous]

Only in a ideal world. People change, grow up, want fresh starts.. Anything can be misprocieved. Put a permit blight in the relationship? Why? Let go of the ego, adict obsession. People have boundaries, which is healthy. Stop telling yourself you need, your only going to ruin what you got with him forever. Search girls ask guys about girls who read diaries, its not good news. Go watch a. soap bopper instead..

[rcljr]

Be furious, you’re the one with the problem, you’ve been together a while and you don’t trust him. That’s no basis for a relationship.

[Yaharro]

Trust is everything a good relationship is only build on trust with no secrets most people only want sexual relationship they don't know the value of trust and real relationship

[Andres77]

If you were digging in my stuff I'd start getting ready to break-up.

[jshm2]

He's only your boyfriend, not you husband. GTFO you control freak.

[Anonymous]

Being in a long term relationship does not mean zero privacy. It means you know more stuff than most and you trust the rest.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Sorry, wht?

you Read his diary?

This is why I don't keep diaries. YOU can't TRUST ANYONE

[Dog87]

Fuck yea I'd confront him if he asks about the diary asks him why he even keeps one and you only looked because he's shady.

[rcljr]

Here you go anonymous, the perfect boyfriend for you…

[Anonymous]

There is no 'stage' at which you have access to someone elses passwords.

[Anonymous]

This is exactly why i don't keep any diaries.
i would dump you for the invasion of privacy 🔏
you're crazy! Red alert ⚠

[rcljr]

BAT SHIT CRAZY

[Opinion Owner]

@rcljr yeah. Fortunately in my area the women aren't like that.

[PoliteSpeaker]

The problem is inside you... Simple.

[Browneye57]

You're a fool. This is going nowhere.