So an abortion can affect the guy for life too?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating for 4 months now. For the longest, I've noticed he seems sad whenever we're out in public and see babies or there are small kids playing in the playground.

Then when we were drinking recently and he was a bit drunk, he blurted out ''see that baby, mine would've been 7 years old by now''. When he was 18, he got his then college girlfriend pregnant. He wanted his child and promised her they'll get through this together. However with the help of her aunt and mother, the girl secretly aborted their baby.

They never spoke to each other again since. He doesn't calls him childfree. He said ''I had a child once''. He never forgave her for it. The relationship died right there. So it affects the man for life? I wish he wouldn't think about it too much. He has many chances to be a father.

[Pyrofox]

Guys remember that type of stuff kids matter to dads we don't say it cause its a sign of weakness and society FORCES us 90% of the time have to do the STRONG MAN facade. But every man has a soft side to them. Its just unfortunately a lot of guys also know they aren't made to be fathers. At certain point sometimes guys just know that having a kid is inappropriate for the time. They know they can't be a father and that is absolutely crushing. It wouldn't be fair to the child it wouldn't be fair to the girlfriend.

Its all tough stuff and its one of the reasons so many people respect Skillet's song Lucy. >.>

[Anonymous]

I'm 20 y/o now. When I was 16 I found out I'll probably never be able to have children, that I'm infertile. To this day I get a little sad seing some couples with their babies.
I try not to think about it though, but it's a scar for life.
If I found out that I got a girl pregnant I'd probably be happy that I'll be a father. Finding out that she aborted would probably crush me knowing that I may have missed my only chance of becoming a father. So I can understand his pain even though he probably isn't infertile.

[Anonymous]

When it comes to the baby both parties I have something to say but at the end of the day do you have to do was best for the child. You have to think will you guys still be together will there be a loving family to help in this situation. Can your body handle a baby

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you

[SnakeBoop]

Of course it can. To think otherwise would be crazy and stupid.

[Nightroads]

It happened to me two times in the past, i still haven't gotten over it. Even with four, i still feel like two of my children are missing. I'm not sure if i will ever stop thinking about them, nor if i could get over it. Both times it was agreed and planned, she did it both time without telling me. Her ex paid for both. I have moved on, but i can't leave them behind.

[Asker]

Wow, I underestimated a guy's feelings on this matter. I guess when it comes to abortion, since it's us carrying the baby and having to undergo physical changes... I used to consider the woman mainly. Just like her, his ex girlfriend didn't tell him at all. She also lied to him from the start about wanting the child. One day she left early in the morning saying she was buying baby stuff but it was to have the abortion.

[Still-alive]

this is why its encouraged to have a long adult conversation with him before hand. of course he has no choice but to respect your decision but it would be much better to talk with him about why you are going ahead with this.

Unless he's an abusive piece of shit of course... in that case just avoid him and go for it

[Archerer]

Yes, it can. It’s a difficult choice most of the time, but it’s the woman’s choice. Doesn’t mean it won’t hurt. It shouldn’t though, she can always have more kids and so can he. But the emotions are there and real.

[FilmGuy93]

It's less common, but yeah. There are a lot of men who would be devastated if they found out their baby was aborted.

[Asker]

He'll never get over it. If our relationship progresses over time and it gets very serious to the point of settling down, I would gladly bear him a child. I'm not at that stage yet.

[FilmGuy93]

Gotcha… well, I wish you the best of luck. If you aren’t ready, then you aren’t ready.

[Anonymous]

He has many chances to be a father? That's like telling someone whose child just died "don't worry, you have other children".

Of course it affects us. Why do so many women think men don't care about their children?

[Asker]

Honestly I was quite shocked because the baby wasn't even been born yet.
I'm glad he told me though. I really feel kind of sorry for him though. If our relationship gets more serious (right now I only like him a lot but don't love him) and he's the one for me, I would gladly bear him a child.

[Opinion Owner]

Best of luck, I hope it works out for the two of you.

[slatyb]

Seems weird to me, and a bit of a red flag for you.

[FreeOhSeven]

Absolutely, especially if his opinion wasn’t considered prior to the abortion!

[Asker]

I see. Yeah from what he told me, he wasn't informed in advance and the girl even lied to him about working it out and having one happy family. That day, she told him she'll buy some baby stuff but it was to have the abortion done.

[FreeOhSeven]

I’d be furious

[Charliefretz329]

Absolutely, men are human too

[Wise4myage]

Sure, I think so.