He is my complete opposite in almost every way. And he's nothing like any of the guys I've dated before. But, I love him for it.
Have you ever crushed hard or fell hard for someone who wasn't your type?
I am currently in same situation i am falling hard for a guy who is totally opposite of me he is shy quite introvert guy where as i am loud talkative extrovert but i am so so attracted to his calm personality i use to run away from shy closed off people because it was always hard to get along but for the first time in my life i am falling for someone completely opposite of my personality
Sometimes we need that balance, am I right? The ying to our yang. That's good you found your person.
That's also how I knew my guy was for me. I'm spicy, he's mellow. He's adventurous. I'm more reserved in nature. He's business minded and I'm a creative. But our virtues and values are aligned.
To be honest I think it can be easy to think sometimes the person you really fall for the most is sometimes not your type for different reasons. I really fell for a girl who was a year younger at the time and she was the first ever girl that I brought home with me and she was actually really respectful just like I am today. It's hard for me to say if she was my type because maybe with some closer interactions since we didn't interact that much since things didn't work out pretty quickly unfortunately, maybe I would have found out she wasn't my type I'm not sure
It's funny how things work out. At least you have that experience to remember.
the girl im in love with right now is so exactly my type and absolutely perfect in my eyes it hurts even more that its unrequited
This was a beautiful response!!!
The hardest time I ever fell for a guy was when I was 18 and I had a guy court me and treat me like a princess who was 7 years older than me. I think the reason it hurt so much to like him and get rejected was that he was the first good friend I had, the first Christian friend I had, the first person who honoured me and the first person who was loyal and cared about my feelings. Like I had friends and family before that but they all liked me for superficial reasons and most were very abusive or disrespectful or unpleasant. Like my dads definition of love is worse than my definition of hate. He hates everybody, including himself.
It sounds like you experienced a great love and suffered a lot in your lifetime. I can totally empathize with you about the dad thing. I could definitely say the same. Have you sense experienced a great love?
I’ve experienced more moderate love and mostly it was with child hood female friends and with God and some religious people I had a spiritual bond with.
That's wonderful!!! Love comes in many different ways.
In terms of looks. The fact he isn't Jamaican. Although he's still black. But he looks like he is from Asian decent.
He's the build I like too.
But he was just really nasty to me.
He didn't boost me as his partner at all.
I felt ugly, and worthless.
He pushed me to be something I wasn't but he didn't push me productively he broke my confidence and then didn't understand why I wasn't doing good at the tasks I tried to do.
I had no confidence being with him.. I'm insecure and anxious all the time.
It was the worst relationship I've ever been in.
We were on and off and it showed the time apart I'd build myself up and withing 3 months of being back with him I'd start to show signs of self doubt.
I'm so sorry that you experienced a relationship as toxic as the one you were in. I'm glad that you are no longer involved with this individual and that you're working on improving and rebuilding yourself.
In some aspects, yes. In others, no.
Physically, he wasn't my type but I still found him cute enough. Even after I fell crazy in love with him, I found him "cute enough".
Personality wise, he had some traits that I liked but he was kind of an asshole 😂. But I did tell him once... a lovable asshole.
In terms of values and goals, his differed greatly from mine. And STILL I fell for him.
Hvaing my type helps. But it has changed a lot over the years. I simplified it to the essentials. I know there's another for what my ideal type is, but gotta be realistic and the person who is for me, may just be a watered down version of that ideal.
LoL! A loveable asshole. That's great.
Your response is similar to what I was thinking.
I think as we grow older our preference and ideas mature with us!
Yes it does mature. On the one hand, I may have feelings for someone but it doesn't mean we'll be compatible long term. That guy I fell for - the only guy I've fallen for - wasn't for me in the end and vice versa.
On the other hand, it does help to recognize what meshes well for me and where certain details aren't important and who knows who that long term commitment person will be.
You've made some extremely valid points here. Thanks for dropping the insight!
I have the hardest crush for my type: white, very tall, very young, black and curly hair, and blue eyes
I would be with a man regardless of his physical appearance, if at least there's something in him that calls my attention, and that he makes me his only princess
How young are we talking lol? Dark and curly hair and blue or green eyes is almost always attractive!
I usually prefer a look from about 30 or 32 years of age to 38 at most, but I can definitely be happier with much younger (at least 21 please) or much older too, the most important is his soul
My late ex fiancée, who was as close to a perfect soulmate as I'll probably ever have. And we were only together for a little over ten months, too. She was the only person I ever had "chemistry" with; someone who just GETS you on a mental level.
Wow, that's a nice illustration! That's unfortunate that it quickly came to an end. What happened?
It's a long story.
What I Learned From My 9 Ex-Girlfriends (Part 1) ↗
The short version is, there was a fire and she didn't make it out. Died the morning of November 1st, 2012.
Oh my goodness. I'm extremely sorry for your loss.
Complete opposites keep your life balanced you have to keep those people around and I know what you mean about that love that Bond but just not right yes I have done this before and I have also done it for other reasons. I look at any relationship that I go into as I go into it as a friend and no matter how it turns out I will walk away as a friend no matter what
That's a great way of thinking. Unfortunately, I can't say all of my relationships ended that way. But, I hope this one never ends.
No. Never happened and never will. I strongly believe in compatibility and I believe that higher the percentage of compatibility the better it will be for the relationship in the long run.
I really don't believe that opposites attract. In fact to me that seems nonsensical.
How so? Care to share?
Yes so what I meant in my reply was that compatibility means having more similarities and likes as compared to differences or dislikes. Having more similarities, likes means there will be a common ground as far as thinking, thought process and even actions are concerned as they are likely to act in a similar way given the same situation.
This will ensure that there will be little or almost no fights in the relationship, there won't be any arguments or unnecessary debates which may strain the relationship.
I’m dealing with that right now. Like I like blondes, or Asian girls. I also like thick women with big breasts and a big butt. But she’s brunette, and has a body that’s perfect enough for me. I originally just thought she was cute, but as I got to know her. I fell so hard for her. Now looking at her, I don’t see how I could find anyone as beautiful as her. It’s funny how that works.
It's definitely funny how life works. Hopefully there are some internal traits that attract you to her as well.
Everyone keeps telling me I have a type but I just don’t see it. I’ve like guys of like every race, height, weight… but apparently I have a type.
Anyway, if I can help it, I like shy guys. I’m a kinda extroverted type so I like a good balance. I find nice and shy guys the cutest😍
So far I've fallen in love three times and none of the guys were even close ti being my types. I like guys with dark her, dark eyes and most of my crushes were blonde with blue eyes 😂
Crazy how live works 😂. I wonder what that says about us when we have a type and don't end up loving someone that fits the category.
She came from a real affluent family and as a result lived a much different lifestyle than I did. She was really nice and she had some weird effect on me that was really powerful. She really was not my type but that did not stop me from falling in love with her. Of course it ended badly.
Do tell 😋 sad to hear 😭😭
Oh no! Why did things end?
Ouch. Well, I'm glad it worked out for the best. Some people are in our life just for a season, not a reason.
Character is what matters most!
Just for a season indeed Lady , 🙏
Nope, she was definitely not my type and married to her for 31 years
Oh 😲!!! That's amazing. If you don't mind me asking, what was your type and how is she different?
I'm an open book, feel free to follow me. I will answer any question you have. I'm pretty calm and laid back and she is fairly wild. Sometimes she makes life really exciting
She sounds like quite an amazing woman indeed!
She is definitely a firecracker
No. I had this whole fantasy version of him in my head and ignored the bits of him that were not that great. Then when I finally got over him, I noticed all the bad things about him. The ‘red flags’. I guess it was good I got over him, but I do sometimes miss how I felt when I had feelings for him. He was good to me sometimes.
Unfortunately, I believe that we romanticize bad relationship just because we love someone. We're like love blind. I'm glad you found your vision.
Well yes. My current boyfriend I definitely fell for the hardest. I’ve turned him down before because I wasn’t interested but now I don’t want to be away half the time. Like being in his arms and looking at him is probably the best thing ever. He’s better than my exes as they were abusive verbally or emotionally. One flat out didn’t know his own feelings.
Go girl! I'm glad that you have a good one. Sometimes we have to push before we get pulled in lol. I'm glad you're happy.
Thanks. Same for you. Happiness is important
I feel like it's close. Sometimes you wish if only that crush had her body or face or if that crush had another crush's voice and so on. I've had a fair few crushes so far in my life so far 😀😆
Some crushes. Any loves?
Some of the people I've fallen for hardest have been the worst for me, but I matured past that. Differences are great, amazing even, but I think you need to have a foundational agreement on basic principles.
I completely agree with the need to have a great foundation.
All three were.
they all had many similarities between them. While all being completely unique and their own persons at the same time.
Nope, my type was always skinny, lanky, tall, sweet & romantic American guys (of any race).
But the guy I fell for is 5’6, really funny, chubby, super active, eats a lot, not romantic at all, and is British.
Nice! This was exactly the kind of response I was hoping for. The British accent is always a huge plus, in my opinion.
No I've yet to meet a girl who is my ideal type because I highly doubt that girl even exists 😂
What kind of girl is that? Please, do tell.
A girl who can relate to my troubled past or empathize with me. Who is monogamous and patient. Who wants to spend most of our time doing things as a team. I want to find a woman that can teach me to bake and I want to be able to teach her to cook. She's gotta love bonfires, in really big in those. Having an interest in philosophy, psychology, history, and music are big bonuses
And what if she isn't anything or many of those things? Would you still give the girl a chance?
of course. the reason i say this is because i dont think she'd give ME a chance. Women have loads of options, men do not. that's the simple fact of the matter. I cannot tell you how many women dumped me because i wouldn't just jump in bed the first 2 weeks of the relationship. Its like they dont want to feel love or an emotional connection first. For me it's devastating that no woman really gives me a chance to show and express myself for who i am.
I hope your outlook on love, women, and relationships changes soon.
Nope. That's not what I think. I just sincerely hope you have a better experience.
The person I fell hardest for wasn't my type either. I don't fully understand why I was drawn to him. Maybe opposites attract is an actual thing :/
Why the long face?
That's understandable and unfortunate. I'm glad you realized before it was too late!
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Damn thats a good question. I think i fell hard for these guys Bo, Tev, Dez 1, Dez 2, Lu, Nate 2, Jhake, Jesse and Tee in the past. Bo, Tev, Tee, Co, Bee, and Jhake were all my type in terms of both looks/personality. With the Dez’s, they were my type in personality. As for looks, one had body more than face and the other had face more than body. Lu had the looks/personality but was outside the preferred age range. Nates intelligence/personality is what got me. Co had the personality but not the looks. Bee had the looks/personality but a horrible voice. After the way things ended, i can hardly find any of them attractive now. Bo, Jesse, Bee and Tee look like theyre starving now a days. Dez 1 and Nate 2 look sick after smoking too much crap. Des 2 and Co ate too much crap. Tev got into bodybuilding which is a turnoff. Jhake and Lu have some crazy ass filipino/japanese/portuguese genes cause they were still hot when i saw em a year back but fck them. Atm, im falling hard for someone and I totally think theyre my type.
Thank you for the analysis lol. You really truly processed your answer. So, it sounds like you saw a little something in each of them. But, your tastes have sense matured. I couldn't agree more with you about the body building comment. That's a total turnoff. Good luck to you with your new relationship.
Thank you haha :)
You're welcome! ☺️