Is it important to you for your partner to bring income to the household?

[Anonymous]

Please state where you were raised as well thanks!

Yes it’s important

No it’s not important

Updates

+1 y

The poll results 😮 wow

[Lliam]

I was born and raised in Southern California near the southern coast of L. A. County. My wife and I moved into our own home on acreage with a view in Northern California 20 years ago.

Extra income sure helps. She got her cosmetology license after high school and has made a good living all her life. She was even the west coast regional rep for Paul Mitchell at one time. She's also a professional photographer and used to do weddings, portraits and even high end photo shoots in Hollywood. And she became a Photoshop expert.

When we moved to NorCal, I was making almost twice as much as her when I include all my company benefits. Now that I have retired, my income is Social Security plus a pension from my old job, but she still works and now brings in more that I do.

After a few years here, she rented her own separate room at a salon. She likes it there. It's cozy and quiet and she can play whatever music she wants. She has it decorated and has examples of her portrait work on the wall. She even uses the room to shoot portraits. She can put up a backdrop and lights and do the shoot. Then she can do digital retouching, change backgrounds, combine photos, and anything a client wants.
Most of her income, by far, is from doing hair. But she makes some money doing makeup and taking photos.

Both of our incomes go to paying our mortgage and other bills and being prepared for retirement.

[Luopio27]

If its to split the rent or mortage loan or cover the expenses of our child, I would expect both to split the bills.


If one of us would do way better than the other financially, I would expect reasonability. If men loose their ability to make money, then the woman should help out.


There is no 1 right rule on any way thats written in stone what men and women should do with their incomes. That is for each couple to decide what bills are split and how they are split.


I know a woman, who worked full time for decades and the husband stayed home and took care of the kids. The man didn't bringmoney but cared for the kids clearing the time for the wife to make money for all.


Couples that work things out, should do fine.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s very important to me personally.
I had a partner who wanted to work full time and have me stay at home to raise the children, so of course there needed to be one partner who brings in some income to provide.
However, I live in California. California is pricy, especially now. To be able to provide shelter, food, medical care, and have extra money, etc… One person has to be working a VERY well paying job or two people need to be working above a minimum wage job to provide more than the basic needs.
So, that means I would have to be working as well, and bringing some income in to help provide as well unless I move out of state.
I think it’s important for both partners to bring in some income to help out, because if one runs out of money, how will they be able to support themselves and someone else (or kids!)?

[MzAsh]

At this time, very important but it’s mostly just for covering himself and his half of the financial responsibilities. I can take care of my half. However, if he wanted me to cover all the household expenses, I can do that but he’ll need to earn his keep around the house. I’d delegated supporting roles to him for my business as well such as photography, miscellaneous tasks, etc.

[t-8900]

single income is too rough and stressful these days. everything is so fast paced and cost of living is jacked up so high. i would never want a single income anymore. its too hectic for all that. Plus i would feel horrible if she was working and i wasn't :/

[Jamie05rhs]

@t-8900 Same here, man. I would never allow anyone to let me mooch off of them. It's just not right.

[Iknowbestgirls]

A partnership is exactly that. Something equal. You both should provide for each other. I was raised by my grandparents in San Jose, CA the silicon valley/ Bay Area. The 4th most expensive city to live in in the USA. It was very important for everyone in the house hold to work and bring home the bread.

[Asker]

Actually plenty of guys don’t care if the women supports financially or not

[Moose304]

I can only say what I would do because I am single by choice and 63. I make more than enough money to fully support myself and a life partner so she would not be forced to hold a job. I would as a condition of our relationship moving forward want her to stay at home. This must be her choice, but she will have to choose to have a career or stay with me, sorry she can't do both. In turn, I will have legal agreements and memos of records made that cover her later if the relationship ends. A man that forces a female to stay at home should do this, she has a right to know her future is secure. This is strictly hypothetical because I have ZERO intent to start an exclusive relationship.

When I do see women I actually had rather be with a woman that has good jobs and is with me by their choice. I was born west of the Mississippi River, but raised in Georgia.

[DaveJord]

Its not 1954 any more. I always told my daughter... " you do need any man, who doesn't have a job." And then I told them. "If you have your own job you don't ever need a man that doesn't make you happy."

After I divorce their mother, I say at age 45 " I appreciate a women that makes me happy. But I don't need or want a women that can't provide for herself"

[Asker]

You meant you don’t need any man who doesn’t have a job…?

[Asker]

It’s not 1954 but in plenty of places most men provide the money for the household while the women doesn’t

[DaveJord]

Yeah

[shaysh87]

did you know that back during the 1980s and prior, women just got married when they couldn't find a job, just so their husbands can support them?

[DaveJord]

@shaysh87 yes

[Asker]

@shaysh87 that’s pretty sad

[DaveJord]

For women or men?

[Asker]

Sad on women’s part embarrassing on mens

[DaveJord]

I feel sorry for anyone man or women married to someone that doesn't work. No way to divorce them with out paying for years for it.

I feel sorry for anyone that can't support themselves and being dependent on another person as well.

It creates an imbalance in the relationships at some piont and one starts to feel intitled while other feels taken advantage of... or a little of both. For me once kids were raised and gone wife still didn't work. Yeah she stayed home with the kids,, but after 12 to 14 its not like they needed her. But expectation was I would keep working into my sixties and she'd do what?

She had a masters degree, and wouldn't work... then complain about me fir everything. Kicked her to the curb.

[shaysh87]

the idiots on this website wouldn't agree with you. Housewifery is over glorified and worshipped on here. But little does anyone really know the consequences of it.

[Asker]

It works for some people and doesn’t for others. No reason to feel sorry for them. Back in the day was different, was barely any way for women to make money.

[shaysh87]

@asker

Back then , times were different. Women were expected to be subservient to their husbands. Women had to cook, clean for her husband, wash and rub his feet when he came back from work, help him wash his plates whenever he was finished eating. If your husband wanted a sandwich, it was the woman's responsibility to make it. The man of the house was supposed to have power over his wife. Women were forced to comply with what was normal in the 1950s. Women always saw this as their reality and never knew of another reality. Independent women were looked down on. They also had no way of divorcing their husbands because women typically didn't have education or skills which impeded their ability to survive on their own. Those who did divorce their husbands usually found their lives to be tremendously more difficult.

Just because a couple aren't divorcing, it doesn't necessarily mean they are happy in their marriage. Some people are just willing to settle or tolerate BS.

Nowadays, if men did this to women, women suffered abusive husbands

[shaysh87]

Nowadays if men did this to women, divorce would be all over the place.

[Asker]

I already said that. And divorce is all over the place. Women divorce men a lot especially rn

[shaysh87]

@asker

some modern young couples are even avoiding marriage so they can have freedom to leave whenever they feel like.

[shaysh87]

@asker

just feel like people just lack family values nowadays. Whenever parents break up, the children also lose a family. They would have to pick to live either when mom or dad. The most common is seeing dad only once or twice a month. Nowadays people look for each others flaws and every reason to divorce rather than to work on things to stick together. People are looking for the perfect partner and novelty rather than to build something beautiful.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DaveJord I liked your first paragraph. But I can't agree with the second one; sorry.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

A woman who cannot provide for herself or can’t hold a job is not a sign of a responsible woman. And being married to a woman who can’t support herself will only add to the financial burden of raising kids. Many people don’t understand how expensive it is to raise children until they do it themselves.

[DaveJord]

@shaysh87 I agree... if she doesn't contribute then that puts more pressure on the man to work and hold down a job and having to be forced to put up with all type of crap at work because they can't afford to quit. If push comes to shove then yeah he could stay home and take care of the kids... but in 1954 there where expectations on what women and men were supposed to do... that's not he case today.. but if you don't work and someone else supports you then there are expectations and over time I think your just setting yourself up for failure if you don't accept your place in the world.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

I was raised by both parents who worked low wage jobs. Financial stressors can really make parenting to be very difficult and unenjoyable. Financial problems are also one of the top reasons for divorce.

[DamnSam]

Not imporant bc in my view... money over all got the ability to spilt people apart...

I'm from Austria, we got it in the childhood education that it's always best if you can do all by yourself... sometimes in a weird way, I know some people where the parents stop talking to them if the have no job, which is a bit much cruelty...

[Agape93]

USA.

Yes. I am NOT your mother or your babysitter. You will contribute to cover your costs, namely your bills. I will not be covering them unless I decide to do so.
If you cannot, you will be put to work around the property.

If you refuse to pay your way or refuse to help out, you're ass is gone.

[Jamie05rhs]

💯 👏👏

[charlean]

For me, yes. Unless I had a highly paying job and we had young kids to take care of, he could stay home and do that.


But if no children, and I still have a highly paying job, I’d still want him to work so he’s got something to keep him occupied because I’ve seen what it’s done to my parents. One works, one doesn’t, when they could do. So yep it’s important to me.

[BCA6010]

I would prefer it. Both of my parents worked towards their careers to great success while raising us, so that's what's normal to me. I currently have a ton of clients who are basically stay at home wives and/or moms and they drive me nuts with how... hollow they are.

I grew up in Texas, north of Dallas.

[Alwayreckles93]

Wow seriously did you live in Fort Worth?

[BCA6010]

@Alwayreckles93 Flower Mound

[Shizunk]

It it important to contribute. That doesn't need to be income. I would prefer for a woman to have a job until first pregnancy. Any job, preferably she shouldn't be overly invested in her career. Having no income is ok for a certain period of time. However if I am paying the bills I would hope she can make my life easier in other ways. Cook, clean, or come up wih something else. Just make herself useful. But ultimately I don't think money is a woman's problem, that's for me to worry about.

[ChrisMaster69]

It’s not hugely important the amount, it’s the doing something with her life.

she went to school sat through lessons, homework, college, university, all the time with a career in mind.

Then she gets married and some fuckwit kills her dreams by ordering her to be a house wife.
oh and from Northumberland, England

[horatiohornblower]

Until there's kids. She better be working. After that I'd be fine with a housewife. I'd also be fine as a househusband. Whomever is bringing home the most bacon should keep working.

Not that it matters. I already work from home most of the time and I can make my schedule as flexible as I want. So, I wouldn't really need to close my business..

Plus my house is paid for. As are my cars and everything else. So, it's not like tons of money needs to be brought in.

[MotorcycleMan]

Well, I think she needs to bring something to the party. Everyone in a household should contribute in some way. If a person is not bringing any income into the household, what are they contributing? Do they cook? Clean? Do remodels/repairs? Take care of kids?

[jshm2]

Not for the household, but themselves.

You see, no one lives for ever and people don't live in large family units like they did before the 60's. Nor does society and family work like that.

By effectually emasculating your family with one breadwinner you enslave the remaining family to your demise. This is why fewer families these days last long or prosper once the head of the family dies.

[AviatorTom]

It depends. If we need both of our incomes to live reasonably, then Yes, she should contribute. If my income alone is sufficient, it's nice if she also contributes, but not that important. The reverse is also true for couples where the woman makes more than the man.

[ArrowheadSW]

If I were looking to get married, yes it would be important. It is less stress to have a two income household, and there can be more extra money to do fun things. I live in the US.

[HawkPerception]

I've never cared if my partner makes an income or not. If I make enough for myself, then that's enough for me. Where 1 can eat, 2 can eat. My partner can't be a princess and expect a free ride from me though. They should desire equality like I do. Even if I was a millionaire and they were a housewife, I would hope they gave an equal amount to the relationship in terms of effort. Most women are too entitled nowadays and just expect men to pay for their shit with nothing in return.

[Hairylegs222]

I own my house 🏡 and worked very hard for it. Of course I work, so if she didn't work... And lived in my house... That wouldn't be fair. Better to work as a team both having having jobs supporting each other. One person working only and the other isn't, I find lazy and unfair to the other person.

However some households have one parent work and the other raises their kids, which is understandable.

[TexasRed95]

I was raised in Texas but is has nothing to do with that at all. The old days of America with 1 working parent and only working 40 hours a week is gone for the most part. Everything is either too low pay or too expensive for that to be possible for the vast majority of people.

[Quigly]

More and more the economy is based on 2 incomes per household and not one. They wanted women in the workforce so they could raise the cost of living and they did. Anyone saying they just want to stay home and let their man bring in the income alone is not living in todays reality.

[PrinceWalnut]

It's important to me that she contributes to the household and that, if anything were to happen to me, she could be self-sufficient. Her contribution can be income, but it can be less than me or none at all if she does other parts of labour around the house. But it's important that both of us be able to handle ourselves -- so she shouldn't do ALL of the domestic work, I should help. And similarly, if she doesn't work, she should be able to fairly easily in a way to support herself.

[midnightmoon05]

Not important when finance is decent …
however… more important to work and be connected with the society.
I didn’t like being a stay home mom.. the women who chose to stay home… were not interesting.