Would you date someone who has cheated in a past relationship?

Question

Personally, i would not. Does a cheater ever change? I dont think so. Some change, while some dont. But it would honestly be so hard to trust someone who has cheated on their partner in the past. How about you?

all_hayl · Accepted Answer

38m here. Depends on many things. For what it may matter, I’m a Bible-believing Christian. I’m also divorced - not due to adultery, but because we were young, stupid, and immature (not a good combination) when we got married.
To address the question (but not necessarily answer it) - as mentioned, it depends on many things. I’ll briefly address a couple of them. I’m prob not going to tell you what you want to hear.
1) their current age/maturity
2) how long since they cheated
3) how long have you known them
4) have they changed, and have you seen this change. In other words, is their lifestyle and choices indicative of someone who is mature and puts others first (this can be difficult to answer objectively, especially if you’re already in a relationship; when I was dating my ex, I could tell that things weren’t right, but I ignored the “red flags” because I justified everything - again, I was immature and afraid to make the tough choices).
5) have they learned anything, and maybe more importantly, has their own lifestyle changed accordingly?
6) is your penis/vagina making the decision, or are you thinking objectively?
7) probably 20 other things.
If you’re considering a relationship with this person, hopefully you’ll get to know them REALLY well (and hopefully he/she is willing to openly discuss the tough subjects and answer any of your questions, even if it brings them to tears. If they’re not or if they’re closed off, that’s not a good sign).
My ex and I divorced over 10 years ago. I’ve had one brief relationship since then, which ended shortly but amicably. I’ve stayed otherwise single for now because after divorcing, I realized that I was a piece of work, and needed to grow and mature in many ways. Lots of bad habits to address.
Ask the tough questions. Be willing to make the decisions that you don’t WANT to make but know that you SHOULD make (I failed in both of these areas). In the end, courage will pay off - not because the outcome will necessarily be what you want (with is partly irrelevant anyways, since we all tend to think selfishly), but because you will learn to make courageous and selfless decisions instead of fear-based decisions.
Cheers!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

At your age kids are still figuring things out. I cheated on my first girlfriend at 16, confessed it to her, she dumped me and then I made a vow to never do that again. It’s been over 20 years now and I’ve kept my word all this time. I never cheated again on anybody ever again despite being very tempted a few times. But once I commit I commit.

Now if an attractive woman admitted she cheated and her and I did a fling/hook up I might consider it. But I would never date or trust her though. Hell no.

Ceslovas · Answer

Yes. I am not loyal at my heart.. naughty, cheaky.

But if i meet someone as naughty and cehaky playful.. I would be starting being jeallous for her.

So it would make me feel so loyal to her. How paradox! ... be in relationship be exciting for someone who is emotional junky.

A person that seeks for thrills.! excitement.

So to keep that person in you must be someone acceptingvand okay about him being 'cheater' this could be game changer.. This guy will start think... why she is so okay about it.

He will start think more and more about you while he is not with you. He won't think of other woman at all! but you. He will. miss you babe.

It's like adrenaline sports having sexy girfriend. Risky but keeps you alive, stressful lol but still difficult to living without that boost of stress;)

For girl is much easier to manipulate Man if she is open to know and accept all the truth about his guy without holding judgent amd beeing playful and smart...;)

t-8900 · Answer

I know of ONE girl who has cheated in a past relationship that I KNOW doesn't cheat on her current boyfriend and hasn't been like that for like 3 or 4 years now at least. I'd trust her for sure but she's like the only one I know that has come out better on the other side after the fact. Vast majority? Hell NO! I hope to God whoever I meet in the future is loyal. There is no worst hurt than being cheated on. Well aside from losing a child. I mean I've never been a parent like THAT but when I lost my dog that was probably the greatest heartbreak I ever experienced because she was like my child.

NathanDavis · Answer

I guess it depends on how long ago it was, why did it happen, and how did it happen...

some people cheat, regret it, lessons learned and move on... we all make mistakes, even big mistakes

but some others cheat not just once, and on top of that... they lie about or try to justify it, or focus on excuses instead of regret what happened, and this case... I don't think I could trust someone like this

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Morality is a complex thing , yet cheating is a choice that you make with Every choice there comes consequences..

I could never understand how the human logic is constructed it varies as how one person loves the other person and to what extent it goes so they will to forgive them or not.

And one question that arises is are people really worried of what other people will think or the accused would leave them.

How does it reflect on the individual the cheater and the cheated.

Or is about being exclusive having the sole owenership and control

ohshee · Answer

For me I'm kind of a Carefree spirit I trust people until they give me the reason not to is somebody has cheated they either had a reason or they just didn't care whatever way it was they did it the wrong way they could have very easily said I don't love you no more I want out Eric Broadbent and lover with but when somebody cheats and they go home each and every day to their spouse seen hi honey having sex with him acting as if nothing happened living the big fat lie and the big fat guess what I'm getting over on you that right there would hurt me more than the cheating itself that right there proves to me who that person really is I would never want to be with a person like that that is selfish that is uncaring that is a big fat lie that is a cheater with everything they do I'm sorry it's not for me there's another five billion other women out there I don't need to pick the one that I don't want

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I have, then she cheated. If they cheat once, ask what the situation was that led to it... that situation is what will enable them to do it again, again, and again. I cheated on that chick that cheated on me, but I cheated to get her back out of revenge. I cheated on her a whole bunch with different chicks. Once I found a good, non-cheating chick I have no hate filled urge to cheat. What I'm saying is someone that cheats just because they have the tingles, will do it just for that reason again.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

I’d be reluctant to but I have done it. Technically I cheated once, even if I was 16 (half a lifetime ago) and we didn’t go all the way.

Anonymous · Answer

I would not. I don’t care what the situation was, “Oh I was plastered at a party, I woke up next to them…” Don’t care. I don’t wanna hear it. I believe some can change, but how do you go on with your life not feeling guilt or wanting to make it up to them?

HawkPerception · Answer

I would not. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I don't understand a cheater's thought process that makes them think it's even remotely okay to do that. It's not hard to imagine how it would hurt the person if they find out. It's not hard to not do something you wouldn't like done to yourself.

Joeshamo · Answer

No, lol. They’ll go be-hide your back and maybe give you an STD. It’s not worth an STD.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

It would be hard for me to trust a girl who has cheated on the ones they were with

Soleil8000 · Answer

From a male perspective, that is a question 'would you ever date a prostitute'.
And, if not - it means they will stay in ruin and never make it out of their troubles, which eventually comes back to bite all of the family people in the ass, like it does now with Covid/this social crises of refugees, chaos and complete lack of leadership globally (due to boomers taking the lead roles but not leading at all, just milking it for money and power/influence)

Fireguy17 · Answer

That is a tough one, trust in anyone is difficult to get back, even if it wasn't done to you. The other person can rationalize all they want to but in the end it was still wrong.

Twalli · Answer

It depends on how and why. My girlfriend "cheated" on her first boyfriend because he didn't understand that she had broken up with him. To show him it was over she made out with his best friend. Technically it was over, but according to him it wasn't.

Relux47 · Answer

What do I look like dating someone that has cheated in the past, condones cheating, thinks cheating is cute, loves to cheat? Cheat on me and best believe it’s going to be a p-p-problem

AnthonyJ01 · Answer

I found out to late that my now ex has cheated on almost everyone with whom she is now married to, but she also cheated on him when they were dating.

Miristheiss · Answer

No. Once I learned that I'd not see in her in the same light anymore and I would have had to have moved on.

melanieeeB · Answer

Depending on the story, generally definitely no but who knows what will happen

Rosalindaa__ · Answer

No, def not. I strongly believe in once a cheater, always a cheater. Always around me if someone did it once, you’d hear they did it multiple times again after that.

StrawberryShake · Answer

Nope, never. It takes a special kind of mindset to ever be able to do that. A fucked up mindset that can't be changed.

slatyb · Answer

Yes. Life is complicated and sometimes when someone is getting no comfort from their spouse they get it elsewhere.

Anonymous · Answer

Men yeah as subconsciously I want a man other women desire and would try to take. If I were a man no way, I've noticed this about a lot of men, they are willing to sleep with a woman with a cheating past but reluctant to committ to her long term.

exitseven · Answer

It might make me think a little bit. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.  I cheated on somebody once. I never got caught but it made me feel really shitty. I would never do it again.

Cleo12345 · Answer

No it’s obviously in their nature to cheat so they’ll do it again

TallAnon · Answer

Depends how long ago it was, if she did it when she was 16 and she's 26, she's had time to change.

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

I think if I knew I would have major trust issues and it would cause problems

hentai_user · Answer

Past actions usually predict future behaviour but people do change

cookiecrusher · Answer

No, would never. Takes certain kind of person to do that to the one they supposedly love and plan to spend their life with.

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

I was one and it’s why I’m single and will always be. 99% of cheaters will always be cheaters

Rainbowdash_999 · Answer

I’ve they also cheated on me which taught me a lesson. some men just don’t change.

KellyPlayz333555 · Answer

I would say no if they are still a cheater right now

collie22 · Answer

they teach us who they are. i learned my lesson

HughDogg · Answer

Yeah. That's my fetish

PuNishant · Answer

Nope never. Once a cheater always a cheater.

Wise4myage · Answer

Yeah, I'm with you. Probably not.

Shy_Steve · Answer

No, I don't think I would trust them.

nawtee_me · Answer

nope, still be friends but no relationships...

BogeyMulligan · Answer

Nope if they did it once they could do it again.

CoolGuy7532 · Answer

Nope! Once a cheater, always a cheater.

silvermoon84 · Answer

No, I wouldn’t.

FreyaRed · Answer

No...

PrettyPriya · Answer

No, absolutely not.

ChiPaPa · Answer

Fuck no. I hate cheaters.

pink_and_inlove · Answer

Nope

roy_ricky09 · Answer

but, stay on alert

dustybiker · Answer

Nope. I would not

EaterPeter · Answer

Nope

Tstrbrainer · Answer

I'm not sure

IveGotNoName · Answer

I would not

Anonymous · Answer

No, that would not be.

Would you date someone who has cheated in a past relationship?

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