Partner trying to ban me helping my mum set up a Christmas tree what to do?

[Anonymous]

My mum lives on her own and I’ve always helped collect tree and carry inside and help decorate with my sister.

Me and my partner will have our own tree at home too and I’ll help get that and decorate.

But my partner is being very controlling and banned me from helping my mum because she says Im not allowed to do that anymore and I can only do our own tree.

[bones_20]

She banned you and said you are not allowed to do that anymore?
You are 34, yes?

[Asker]

Yes I am

[bones_20]

Do I really have to say anything more...

[Asker]

I guess I try and be a good partner and listen to her

[bones_20]

Well to put this as nicely as possible, if you’re gonna listen to someone who tells a fully grown adult that they aren’t allowed to help their own mum with a tree, you’re an idiot.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry? She banned you? WTF?
That’s not a partner.
Sounds more like an owner.

[Asker]

Yeah I know :(

[Opinion Owner]

You need to decided what you are willing to live with. If you allow this behavior to continue, you could be setting yourself up to live this way, possibly forever.
Are you comfortable with that?

I do have a question though. Is there a reason why she can’t/won’t join you in helping your mother?

[Layla21]

That is a good question there opinion owner! I was going to write the same thing.
What is the reason why she as your partner can’t be included? Maybe she is hurt that she is being excluded.
I once was in a similar position I dated this guy and his mum were never welcoming to me and my partner didn’t ever include me in either or see things from my point of view what I was saying. So long story cut short I broke it off with him and I am so much happier now because my new man and his mum don’t do that. If you want this partner and are serious about her why not just ask her to join you and invite her and make her feel welcomed? Hope this helps just a bit of personal experience 😊

[noohair]

That sounds weird and controlling. You can't help your Mother?

[SnakeBoop]

You leave that shitty partner?
Its a fucking Christmas tree. And if you have to be "controlled"... then why the fuck stay?