Should I Cut My Mum Off?

[Anonymous]

This is a tough one to write, but I really need some advice.

From the age of five, my parents got divorced and my Mum gained full custody of me, I was also an only child. My Mum was physically abusive towards me as a small infant, right up until I was in my early teens. After that, she became more emotionally abusive, as she could be quite manipulative. Everything seemed to be either mine or my Dad's fault, it was my fault she could never get a job and we had little money to survive on (but even after I moved out at 18, she still didn't get a job?)

She always made it a point that she hated children, other people's children, or anything to do with children in general. I rarely received opportunities to mix with other kids, as my Mum didn't enjoy driving me around to friends' houses much. As a result of this, I didn't have many friends as a kid and became badly unsettled. I feel like she did the bare minimum as a parent and I missed out on most things, including my own prom and graduation because she didn't wish to make the effort to travel there.

She acted like she was the best parent in the world because she didn't work and stayed at home to do the housework instead. I admit she was very hands-on in this area, but there's more to parenthood than housework, right? Does anyone else have a similar experience to this? What are your thoughts? Even now, she still continues to make unfair comments about me and I just don't feel like I can do right in her eyes, because she acts like I'm totally incapable of everything.

[madhatters4]

i can relate. i had a very difficult relationship with my mom that at times definitely broached emotional/verbal abuse. i don't think you cut her off. i think you just limit your exposure to her and try not to let what she says negatively impact you as you are now an adult and can understand the truth of the matter.

[Mynameisbobby]

My mother and older sister abused me my mother hated me because I was a boy. After my dad died she let my sister abuse me physically and emotionally. My mother always told me it was my fault how they treated me because I'm a boy. I believed them and thought I was terrible. My uncle adopted me when I was 13 and through counseling I am getting better. I have nightmares still from the abuse.

[slatyb]

It's up to you. You don't owe her you're time or attention. If it's a bad experience then stop seeing her.

[Anonymous]

Yes cut her out. You’ll be happier