my boyfriend often bullies me. He plays too rough cause he’s a bully and immature. Anyways he’s always played rough cause he’s also much bigger than me. Last night he tried to suffocate me with a dirty sock ( I know it sounds bad but this is normal behavior for both of us). I panicked because I couldn’t breather and I pushed his face with my hand but I had my phone in my hand and I chipped his tooth in doing so. His teeth were perfect and he would talk about how he never had to have braces like me 🙄and he’s so upset about it. I feel really bad about it because it was an accident and I didn’t mean to do it.
Me , Pinky
Boyfriend is at fault
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+1 y
You guys 😂 I am NOT being abused…. It’s literally the same way some of you treated your younger siblings or some of your older siblings treated you. I grew up around boys and i was the only girl. I’m used to this type of behavior. We play rough , we bother eachother, I promise it’s not that deep 🤦♀️ I just want to know if it’s my fault or his for even doing that in the first place.
Please make a list of your cool stuff so when he kills you, I mean accidentally ends your life, we have opportunity to bid on it.
what else am I supposed to say? no, this is not normal or good. He stuffed a sock in your face because of communications issues... fix that.
I find it fascinating you chose someone like the people you grew up with. I know a female who roughhoused with brothers, but she doesn't do that with hubby. Why don't you all take some martial arts or something and treat each other nice... before any offspring show up.
That’s her not me… are we supposed to be the same. Y’all are overly sensitive af. If I had an issue with it I wouldn’t be in the relationship. We’re both big kids and we play with each other all the time. It’s nothing new. its never that serious. There are actual women out there getting abused and y’all worried about me cause I like to play rough 😐
It’s never that serious. I’m not getting beat on. I’ll be damned. It’s harmless fun really and I’m not really surprised that some of you fail to comprehend that because it’s not what grown adults do in their relationship but it’s what I do in mine
I don't think anyone's at fault - things like that just happen - Like your instincts were to push his face and hit him because you weren't able to breathe - While I'm pretty sure that if he knew that it was literally killing you he'd have stopped right there - just explain to him how bad it was for you and that you didn't mean for it to happen, and obviously that you're sorry his perfect teeth aren't that perfect anymore - Yea maybe not that last sentence
I feel like you both are at fault. You reacted to something he was doing and that was the end result. Had he not tried to suffocate you (and with a damn dirty sock at that!) then you wouldn't have had to chip his tooth. Cause and effect. Tell him if Fabolous got away with having a chipped tooth most of his career, he'll be alright lol.
"Last night he tried to suffocate me with a dirty sock" does not sound like normal behavior in less you both are in grade school. Though both of you are at fault. He is a fault for doing crap for that and you are at fault for sticking around when he does.
Just because toxic behavior is normal doesn't mean it's okay. If you were panicking enough to hit him hard enough to chip his tooth then he was most likely going way too far in suffocating you. It sounds like you are experiencing emotional and possibly physical abuse
If you think people who are grown up don't need someone to point out the truth to them occasionally, then you are completely blind and deaf to the world around you
The thing is I didn’t even hit him hard at all. The edge of my phone case just so happened to hit his tooth and it chipped. I didn’t even mean to do that. I just panicked and I feel really bad about it. I’m not being physically abused though or emotionally abused. It’s never that bad
Well, I'm glad to hear you are not being abused. That's encouraging. And I would say that it's reasonable for him to be upset that his tooth got chipped, but not reasonable to be upset at you. You were being choked and you panicked. It's a completely natural reaction
If you couldn't breathe, your bully boyfriend is totally at fault, and deserved whatever he got. In that situation, you're entitled to do whatever it takes to get him off you.
For future reference, if he gets that physical again, knee him in the nuts.
When your dying, people do tend to panic. You have no control over what happens when gasping for air. I'd recommend a boyfriend who doesn't do this and you should not do it to your man either but maybe your just right for each other if you both do stuff like that to each other.
I say both. Yeah he’s responsible for playing too rough and not seeing it was bothering you on another level. You also hold the responsibility for understanding he does things like that and letting the immaturity and reckless behavior to continue. From what I understand, i get it’s all fun and games but be careful because if shit goes sideways, no one wants to hear “oh I’m sorry!” During a serious injury
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Your boyfriend is 100% at fault. he should know that anyone put in your situation would panic and when they panic.. things happen, arms fly every where etc.. He knew what he was doing. he should know better and you did not do it on purpose. Im sorry you’re going through this.
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Opinion Owner
+1 y
But at this point, you recognize that he’s a bully… you need to either leave the situation because it will get worse or you need to stand up more for yourself. if he does not understand your boundaries. LEAVE.
Wow these comments are harsh… but ummm wow… I don’t even know what to say lol… I’ve heard of rough play but that’s extreme. However he can get his tooth/teeth repaired.. no big deal on that end… however, are YOU okay?
#1 he got what he deserve even if y'all do play or whatever. Like wtf he was suffocating you #2 i’d be furious because i dont play about my teeth. We wouldve had to breakup for both of the above reasons
That’s exactly what I’m thinking. If he chipped my tooth we would be done for sure…. That’s why I feel so bad too cause if it were me I’d be pissed even if it was an accident.
He shouldn't have been so rough with you and should've stopped when you asked him to stop the first time. And damn; what kind of phone do you have that it can break teeth?
When you play around by swinging at each other, you're sooner or later bound to clip the other with said swings. You either fix your concept of playfulness, or get down to terms with bruising each other up.
It’s both your faults for not setting boundaries while play fighting like buffoons. If he’s that much bigger than you, how is it mutual? He’ll always win unless he lets you and that’s not fun.
RE Update. I played rough with my brother. We often punched and kicked each other. In my whole life I never hit, slapped, bullied or choked any of my girlfriends. I actually had a girlfriend that abused me. A few times she would get physical and I used to just restrain her until she calmed down. I am sorry if I over reacted but I have seen abuse and usually it just gets worse.
@Pink2000 Trust me don't feel guilty about what happened, this is just something that happens at the wrong place at the wrong time, we can be play fighting and boom it happens, I had a former neighbor girl was crushing on me and she would come down and play fight with me, She would go for my manhood I think she wanted one thing so who knows but these things happen
I 100% understand you feeling bad about it I do, but what you’re describing up there sounds a lot like domestic violence and I can guarantee you it’s only going to get worse. I have seen far too much of it. My advice is sit down and have a serious talk with him about it and if that doesn’t change things, you need to leave. You deserve someone who will listen to you and respect you.
I don’t think it’s that bad but if did get to that point I’d definitely leave or even if I feel like he’s harming me I’d talk to him about it. Right now it seems like his immature way of having fun.
Interesting how so many people blame the man here even when she says that it was a normal practice between them, this is the reason I don't want a girlfriend, she can literally falsely accused abuse or even rape and everyone will believe her blindly.
Just together. It’s not as bad as it sounds like for instance when I’m taking a shower he’ll bust in there and rip the shower curtain back and start slapping my butt cheeks or if I ask him for some privacy he’ll pull up a chair and watch me shower. It’s all harmless I promise. Nothing too crazy. This time was just a bad accident.
Because you all don’t know our relationship and it sounds worst than what it really is. If you know me you know I wouldn’t stick around and get abused. It’s harmless and an accident
He wasn’t literally trying to suffocate me. It’s literally the same as when I sit on his head while he’s sleeping. It’s not that serious. He wasn’t gonna suffocate me tot he point of passing out. He wanted to get on my nerves by shoving a dirty sock in my face. I’m not getting abused. It’s really annoying when there are women out there actually getting abused and y’all are making it seem like I’m getting my ass beat.
You used the word suffocate, not me. "It's literally the same thing as when I sit on his head while he's sleeping" So we are annoying you eh? No one said anything about you "getting your ass beat" Nice try. So if the whole room has basically the same opinion, then we must ALL be off, and you are right.👍
Some of you are saying I’m being physically abused… which is ridiculous. You’re just overly sensitive. When I sit on his head , I’m temporarily suffocating him but he can throw me off easily. No one is being abused.
It’s really not that deep or toxic. Y’all making it out to be more than what it is. He don’t bully me to hurt my feelings. He bullies me to get on my nerves. It’s never that deep 💀
But look at the first thing you said? Why wouldn’t anyone think of it like that. But I’m no one to convince don’t get offended when people share their opinion when you went looking for one
Damn lol it’s his fault though you literally couldn’t breathe. I’m the one that plays rough in my relationship because I’m always smacking his ass hard just for fun and play fighting with him but damn I would not do that that’s gross lol
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