Is it a red flag to start having too many fights when planning the wedding?

[Desconhecida]

[Miristheiss]

Disagreements? No. Two people can have 2 completely different ideas about the wedding should go.

I'd say the bigger and more important thing to keep an eye on is how do the two "fight"? Are they respectful, do they argue with rules, can they remain calm and try to see the others point of view and are they willing to meet in the middle?

If they yell, call each other names, disrespect and demean each other when some trivial difference of opinion comes up then that would be a red flag and signs they will not last.

[Xoxocutekitty]

I think the occasional fight or two is normal - particularly if shadow relatives are offering to pitch in (with their own expectations of course). No one wants to be told they can't have everything on their dream day and weddings are pretty zero sum budgeting. Prioritize this, get less of that. More guests? Shittier food. Live in a city? Good luck affording any decent venue.

Having no disagreements could mean that one partner is checked out of the process completely.

But yes, too much fighting does not bode well for the future. Weddings should be fun, ceremonious, and the public recognition of the start of your lives together.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Some "food for thought" to circumvent arguments that can be avoided:
1. Keep your immediate family out of the wedding plans.
2. Pay for the wedding yourselves. Don't hope for old traditions to shoulder the costs.
3. Mutually decide & agree to invite just a few.
4. Avoid extravagance and set a realistic budget.
5. Don't give in to the other if it's sacrificing your essential values.

[Fireguy17]

It can be, weddings are tough, usually best left up to the bride, you already know what you want, so why ask him, he will only say something stupid like free beer and then it starts.
I think D Day took less planning than most weddings do.
I used to watch people's court and would get a kick out of it the balloon arch had 3 less balloons in it that it was supposed to have, and the bride would say that ruined her wedding.
I would think, boy you are in for some really big disappointments in the future.

[OlderAndWiser]

Are you planning a wedding? Someone else in your life? Or is this a hypothetical question?

[ohshee]

It is something to pay attention to you on how people are being talked to if you take yourself out of the moment and actually listen to everything and how it's being said it's a good indicator of who that person is really and to justify everything it could be just nerves but it is something to pay attention to

[GingerGuy]

Depending on the seriousness of the fights, and what they were about, I would probably see it that way or it might make me look at things more. It could mean a bigger issue, like you're two very different people and maybe shouldn't be getting married? (if these fights are serious enough). Relationships are about compromise also, so this could be a good test for you both to see if you can do that? And maybe this will be a "sign" you'll have to do it a lot in a marriage?

[Pasiton5]

Fights or disagreement, fights over wedding your wedding is not a good way to start out if something as happy as your wedding day can cause you to reach this point what about what is ahead life has some challenges to throw at you said well require both of you to stand together support each other, I would not say it's a red flag but something you both need to have a serious discussion on

[slatyb]

Yes, a HUGE RED FLAG. It doesn't matter who is at fault, this is a strong sign that you should not be together. Planning a wedding is not a serious problem. What do you imagine would happen if there were a serious problem to be managed in your relationship?

[Diodoro]

If my wife-to-be was dealing with stress so poorly that she was starting an argument over bulshit on a regular basis, yes I would consider that a red flag.

Because all this is really is an example of how both of you deal with stress. You are going to have more stressful moments in a marriage

[bowenw]

It depends on what you are fighting about, if you are fighting fairly, if you finding ways to compromise, and if there are hard feelings. Planning a wedding can be stressful especially if people besides the two of you are trying to influence the process. It can be a good indicator of how you will deal with stressful situations in the marriage, like buying a house, raising kids, etc.

[TheBMG]

No. I tell everyone I loved my girlfriend, tolerated my fiancé, but cherish my wife. Planning a wedding just doesn’t bring out the best in people. I wasn’t sure what I was getting into when my wife and her mom planned our wedding. I was not always happy, but I was patient. After the wedding, it was great and we settled in great. It’s just hard and stressful to get through all of that. Especially if you’re trying to make everything perfect.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Absolutely.


This is why I will never marry anyone I have ‘t lived with for a minimum of 5 years.


Hell, I lived with the last one for 7 years before I saw all of his true colors.

[annabananna]

Sometimes no fighting can be a red flag so I don’t think fighting itself is necessarily a red flag. It is a red flag on how the person acts when fighting or not getting their way. Do they call you names and refuse to ever compromise?

[loves2learn]

Why are you fighting and are you still being respectful to each other. I don’t think we had any fights about our wedding.

[Anpu23]

Why are you fighting? Is it because he is feeling left out of his own wedding? Like his oppinions just don't count? This was my first wedding.

Or is it that he's just trying to steamroll over you.

[ArrowheadSW]

I always tell friends of mine who get engaged, to get pre marital counseling. I even say that when their relationship is going well. There are so many things to consider, etc.

[dustybiker]

Fighting is a red flag. We all have to deal with things that get to us on a daily basis. Either you work a problem out or you aren’t ready for a relationship.

[watercolor_lions]

It can be. Are either of you being bride/groomzillas?

People get stressed out planning for weddings. It can bring out people's worst.

Try being more realistic and see if the fights stop.

[sean1234]

It's a red flag when they worship a Sunday sabbath instead of 7th day Saturday Sabbath, don't accept Jesus as the son of God and live a worldly life.

[sean1234]

... and don't read the King James Bible from Genesis to Revelation.

[JasM0]

What are the disagreements? Can we make a distinction between disagreements, arguments, and knock-down-drag outs? 😊

[notwoke]

if you are spending more than he is comfortable with, this would be a legit argument. Other than that does he really give a fuck? I mean as long as it is not too costly I really just want her to be happy and who really cares?

[Waldoe]

yes, if you want to get married, the wedding is just a formality... go to the "justice of the peace"... if you just want to put on a "Fancy Party", you can do that without a husband ot priest or wedding... up to you

[Adam1978]

Yes you need to beable to have a disagreement without it becoming fights.