Is it a red flag to start having too many fights when planning the wedding?

Question

Xoxocutekitty · Accepted Answer

I think the occasional fight or two is normal - particularly if shadow relatives are offering to pitch in (with their own expectations of course). No one wants to be told they can't have everything on their dream day and weddings are pretty zero sum budgeting. Prioritize this, get less of that. More guests? Shittier food. Live in a city? Good luck affording any decent venue.

Having no disagreements could mean that one partner is checked out of the process completely.

But yes, too much fighting does not bode well for the future. Weddings should be fun, ceremonious, and the public recognition of the start of your lives together.

DeeDeeDeVour · Accepted Answer

Some "food for thought" to circumvent arguments that can be avoided:
1. Keep your immediate family out of the wedding plans.
2. Pay for the wedding yourselves. Don't hope for old traditions to shoulder the costs.
3. Mutually decide & agree to invite just a few.
4. Avoid extravagance and set a realistic budget.
5. Don't give in to the other if it's sacrificing your essential values.

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

Disagreements? No. Two people can have 2 completely different ideas about the wedding should go.

I'd say the bigger and more important thing to keep an eye on is how do the two "fight"? Are they respectful, do they argue with rules, can they remain calm and try to see the others point of view and are they willing to meet in the middle?

If they yell, call each other names, disrespect and demean each other when some trivial difference of opinion comes up then that would be a red flag and signs they will not last.

Fireguy17 · Accepted Answer

It can be, weddings are tough, usually best left up to the bride, you already know what you want, so why ask him, he will only say something stupid like free beer and then it starts.
I think D Day took less planning than most weddings do.
I used to watch people's court and would get a kick out of it the balloon arch had 3 less balloons in it that it was supposed to have, and the bride would say that ruined her wedding.
I would think, boy you are in for some really big disappointments in the future.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Are you planning a wedding? Someone else in your life? Or is this a hypothetical question?

ohshee · Answer

It is something to pay attention to you on how people are being talked to if you take yourself out of the moment and actually listen to everything and how it's being said it's a good indicator of who that person is really and to justify everything it could be just nerves but it is something to pay attention to

GingerGuy · Answer

Depending on the seriousness of the fights, and what they were about, I would probably see it that way or it might make me look at things more. It could mean a bigger issue, like you're two very different people and maybe shouldn't be getting married? (if these fights are serious enough). Relationships are about compromise also, so this could be a good test for you both to see if you can do that? And maybe this will be a "sign" you'll have to do it a lot in a marriage?

Pasiton5 · Answer

Fights or disagreement, fights over wedding your wedding is not a good way to start out if something as happy as your wedding day can cause you to reach this point what about what is ahead life has some challenges to throw at you said well require both of you to stand together support each other, I would not say it's a red flag but something you both need to have a serious discussion on

Diodoro · Answer

If my wife-to-be was dealing with stress so poorly that she was starting an argument over bulshit on a regular basis, yes I would consider that a red flag.

Because all this is really is an example of how both of you deal with stress. You are going to have more stressful moments in a marriage

slatyb · Answer

Yes, a HUGE RED FLAG. It doesn't matter who is at fault, this is a strong sign that you should not be together. Planning a wedding is not a serious problem. What do you imagine would happen if there were a serious problem to be managed in your relationship?

bowenw · Answer

It depends on what you are fighting about, if you are fighting fairly, if you finding ways to compromise, and if there are hard feelings. Planning a wedding can be stressful especially if people besides the two of you are trying to influence the process. It can be a good indicator of how you will deal with stressful situations in the marriage, like buying a house, raising kids, etc.

TheBMG · Answer

No. I tell everyone I loved my girlfriend, tolerated my fiancé, but cherish my wife. Planning a wedding just doesn’t bring out the best in people. I wasn’t sure what I was getting into when my wife and her mom planned our wedding. I was not always happy, but I was patient. After the wedding, it was great and we settled in great. It’s just hard and stressful to get through all of that. Especially if you’re trying to make everything perfect.

NotTacocaT6969 · Answer

Absolutely.  This is why I will never marry anyone I have ‘t lived with for a minimum of 5 years.  Hell, I lived with the last one for 7 years before I saw all of his true colors.

annabananna · Answer

Sometimes no fighting can be a red flag so I don’t think fighting itself is necessarily a red flag. It is a red flag on how the person acts when fighting or not getting their way. Do they call you names and refuse to ever compromise?

loves2learn · Answer

Why are you fighting and are you still being respectful to each other. I don’t think we had any fights about our wedding.

Anpu23 · Answer

Why are you fighting? Is it because he is feeling left out of his own wedding? Like his oppinions just don't count? This was my first wedding. Or is it that he's just trying to steamroll over you.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I always tell friends of mine who get engaged, to get pre marital counseling. I even say that when their relationship is going well. There are so many things to consider, etc.

dustybiker · Answer

Fighting is a red flag. We all have to deal with things that get to us on a daily basis. Either you work a problem out or you aren’t ready for a relationship.

watercolor_lions · Answer

It can be. Are either of you being bride/groomzillas? People get stressed out planning for weddings. It can bring out people's worst. Try being more realistic and see if the fights stop.

sean1234 · Answer

It's a red flag when they worship a Sunday sabbath instead of 7th day Saturday Sabbath, don't accept Jesus as the son of God and live a worldly life.

JasM0 · Answer

What are the disagreements? Can we make a distinction between disagreements, arguments, and knock-down-drag outs? 😊

notwoke · Answer

if you are spending more than he is comfortable with, this would be a legit argument. Other than that does he really give a fuck? I mean as long as it is not too costly I really just want her to be happy and who really cares?

Waldoe · Answer

yes, if you want to get married, the wedding is just a formality... go to the "justice of the peace"... if you just want to put on a "Fancy Party", you can do that without a husband ot priest or wedding... up to you

Adam1978 · Answer

Yes you need to beable to have a disagreement without it becoming fights.

KatanaSlice · Answer

No relationship is perfect and even a couple with a great relationship will occasionally have arguments. If you're arguing way too much though that's a bad thing.

TheFlak38 · Answer

hahaha it's simply foreshadowing the living hell that the men will experience for the rest of his life or at least until the divorce has been filed. Have fun bro.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

It would be for me. If I'm test driving a vehicle I'm interested in buying and too many mechanical or other issues show up at the point of testing it I won't buy it.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

If the person doesn't fight on there wedding planning then are not real couples or like compromising. Nobody could be that sage lol

clubmanager · Answer

I don't think so, it's just both want things to happen their way but if they can compromise with each other as they will throughout their lives it will not get so tricky

whosnumber1 · Answer

mmmmm. not really. when I got married I only had a couple things I wanted to happen and the rest was up to her

bamesjond0069 · Answer

If the woman is doing stuff with no respect to costs then she is in the wrong. If the man is not making this about the wife he is wrong. He can have a say but lets be honest its for the woman.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I don't like arguments so too many fights when planning a wedding is bad

sheikalana · Answer

I guess that is all very common but it depends on what exactly are you fighting about.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Can be. It’s more about how you resolve them, rather than the actual fighting. Because you will fight.. either way

Anonymous · Answer

I see it in every question and I can't make sense of it. What is this red flag story?

loveslongnails · Answer

Depends what the fights are about and how each person handles them.

MJtheCoach · Answer

Are you questions are about relationships and dating and marriage. You’re a female aren’t you married to Tiktok?

Naughtyboy71 · Answer

Yes red flags need hold off till you on same page  Fights never a good thing

Lclark15 · Answer

No , not at all. Marriage is a commitment to God get used to it !

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, it means the bride is being too picky over the wedding planning.

Datboi65 · Answer

Can you provide context?

Citizenkirk · Answer

It might be an indication of nervous jitters.

jobego · Answer

yes lol unless it is small things

jahaims · Answer

It's a red flag to have fights period

donnny2367764 · Answer

Depends what the red flags are about

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Yes.

awkward_author · Answer

Very much, yes.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yes.

legalboxers · Answer

1 word.. BAIL

msc545 · Answer

Yes, it is

BestWoman · Answer

Of course yes

Is it a red flag to start having too many fights when planning the wedding?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is it a red flag to start having too many fights when planning the wedding?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.