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Generally who "wears the pants" in a relationship has less to do with dominance and more to do with who is more picky about what, and how strongly they hold that preference.
Like not to stereotype too much here but I want to use a stereotype as an example. Women often wear the pants around the house, because most guys would be satisfied with an Xbox, a couch, and a TV, and don't mind some trash hanging around. Decoration and tindyness is nice, but the lack of decoration doesn't usually bother him as much, or he doesn't know what time out in there. So he'll generally defer to her preferences in terms of styling, and she might find she has to keep taking the lead in cleaning. Not because he is lazy and expects her to do it for him. But because it just doesn't bother him.
I mean with that stereotype concluded, I can definitely say I have a sister who was in a relationship with the reverse dynamic, and I usually had the reverse dynamic with the lesbian couple I lived with. I always did the dishes, for instance, because they didn't really care how they were done, but I had do do it a specific way.
But like if we are building a computer, choosing a car, choosing electronics, I definitely end up taking the pants. Styling and decoration I tend to have a voice but defer to her opinion if it seems more informed and stronger. Cleaning and household tasks, I tend to take her lead in what she feels needs to be done around the house, and do what I can do she doesn't feel it has become "her job", regardless of if I feel okay with the current level of mess.
Unfortunately, she'll probably "wear the pants" sexually, I grew up with too many women who had bad sexual experiences, so in terms of play time, I'd tend to wait for her to initiate so I know I'm not breaking her boundaries. I say unfortunately because a lot of girls don't seem to like this and one girl resisted initiating until she kinda broke down and said my lack of advanced made her feel undesirable. Gave her the whole life history explanation and things cleared up. I just needed to hear clear and enthusiastic interest in going further. But some girls seem to prefer a guy they have to shove off of her.
At the end of the day, I think I do. My wife seems to prefer me to lead. That's not to say she doesn't do her share. She even takes care of me in her own way. But when pushed to a decision-making point that affects both of us, she looks to me even when I don't feel like it to lead. An example conversation that occurs repeatedly, and recently, when I'm not in the mood to lead:
Me: What would you like for dinner? I don't have any ideas today.
Wife: I'm cool with whatever.
Me: Same. Do you have any ideas?
Wife: No.
Me: Are you sure?
Wife: Well, I have a slight craving for Indian food.
Me: Well, let's go to an Indian restaurant then.
Wife: Okay! [super happy]
She puts me in the lead position like this all the time even when I don't feel like it. She seems to prefer it. But I figure leading is protecting. Say I drive her to the Indian restaurant and it's closed. That actually happened during COVID. Then it's not her fault. It's mine because I took the lead. So I protect her and talk her into alternatives and then, once more, I make the decision and take responsibility for it.
I see women on here saying they do this, and they do that, and that's not necessarily leading or wearing the pants. That's being a great participant, and my wife is a great participant. But to lead and wear the pants means you take the ultimate responsibility and people look to you to make decisions that affect all of them. I find myself in that role repeatedly whether I want it or not.
I’m a switch depending on what it is. I’m also okay with keeping things like finance separate, but if they are combined, I prefer that I wear the “pants” on general financial strategy. Most things I’d want to just share, but I don’t mind being the person with pants for crisis management or big change situations. I do understand if someone wants to have equal involvement though.
Things I don’t care about it redecorating or meal planning. I’m the last person to ask “what should we eat for dinner tonight” as my answer is “food”.
If we're talking about who earns, then my S/O wears the pants in the relationship. That doesn't mean relationships should be partial because as a homemaker I can guarantee you EVERY relationship needs to be 50/50... no, 100/100 if it has to work properly.
Opinion
45Opinion
Oh! He tried to boss me around when we first started dating. I just taught him our relationship needed him to learn 2 rules to work:
1. I am always right.
2. If I'm wrong, remember rule #1.
We are engaged. The rules work! 😆 🤣 😂
My husband and I found that "neither of us wearing pants" was best for our relationship... Can be taken figuratively or literally as both could apply for a happy marriage😏🤭
I have to wear the pants. My husband is to layed back to even care about deciding anything or taking control
I like being masculine and I prefer feminine women. So I wear the pants.
However, I do understand the meaning of the phrase "Who wears the pants" means "Who's the boss".
Neither my wife nor I are the boss of each other. We are equal partners. We're both bull headed and don't respond well to taking orders. We admire and respect each other and contribute equally to decision making and work that needs to be done. She has good sense, comes up with some good ideas, and works hard. I'm good at doing guy stuff that requires size and strength.
It’s pretty much always been both.
It greatly depends on what is happening.
When I was married I was deployed 6-9 months a year and coming back ‘wearing the trousers’ would be stupid and make me look a fuckwit, also I wanted the downtime when I was home after a deployment.
I did when required, however if you have someone more than capable and confident to manage things, why do anything other than be there for them.
Ditto with relationships, most of time I took the lead, however I don’t really care who does as long as stuff happens, important stuff gets sorted etc.
for me it’s a mutual thing and not a ‘I’m a guy so it must be more 100%’
Interesting story...
We were doing our laundry together one day. And we each grabbed a pair of pants at the same time. Well it was the same pair of pants but when we pulled them they ripped in half. So now I wear one leg and she wears the other leg. LMFAO!!!
JK.
I think it should 50/50. Or 60-40 after a discussion about what each other things about the specific issue at hand.
Example: "Where do you want to go for dinner?"
"I don't know. What are you in the mood for?"
At this point the couple should be able to express their desire for a place to eat or at least what they are NOT interested in for dinner. And at some point come up with a place to eat, or the partner with the 60% can find a middle ground for both people.
My husband wears the pants, but I control the zipper. 😁
I prefer it to be 60/40. I have more leeway but not complete domination. I have been completely in the drivers seat before. As a man it felt fulfilling however at times i felt like i was dating a very advanced sex doll. It’s relieving to have the girl occasionally (but definitely not always) take control on things. There is a lot of pressure to constantly make decisions.
Also I am a genuine nice guy. Besides having to always be on my guard about friéndzone bullshit I have encountered very inflexible controlling women before who think they are always going to get their way with me. I had to always hit the red button and draw the line on that crap.
I prefer to have balance in the relationship and know when I am to wear the pants and when I'm to wear the panties. There are times when men are not in charge and that's when we as men need to realize and understand certain aspects of the relationship / marriage is not ours to control. Sometimes I like wearing the panties and being told what to do by my woman. Sometimes I get myself in trouble and have to wear the panties. But, when I do wear the pants I take care of business and act accordingly but not overbearingly. There's two components going on; One, knowing when one is wearing the pants that he or she has to remain Firm but Fair in delivering in leadership. The other is submission and knowing how to show meek surrender. The overall thing going on is Trust.
Just my 2cents.
When I'm dating somebody there's really not too much of anything that's a big deal for me so I let her wear the pants until there's something it happens did I need to take control of and then believe me those pants are on me and I will deal with it other than that I'm pretty easy-going it's not that big of a deal and what happens and it gets the show me who she is as a person and how she would deal with it
Definitely my husband, just because he cares about things more. Even when I am doing dishes of laundry he tells me how he wants it done, like if I change the trash too often he tells me I am being wasteful and if I wait too long I am lazy. He has even told me that I am not allowed to fill the teapot up all the way, that I should only put in the amount I will be drinking at that time to save on electricity.
There is no question that i'm a dominant man but in a good way and in a relationship i'm the leader and my future housewife will follow...
It's not a surprise, even in the bible it's mentioned that the man is the head of the house but always know the real meaning of it cause it's very far away from being a master and a slave, the majority of men thinks that this means that they are the kings and their wives are the slaves!
My girlfriend definitely runs the show - and does it well - and I support her - we experienced some things some feelings that were different to anything I had felt before but we just kept going and today I find it very sexy - and things run pretty smooth
My ex thought tatxshe was in charge as rge, but shecisxa complete F-up. Racked up all the credit cards and stopped paying them as she demanded to be in charge of. Did not want me to have access to anything. She ended up costing me over $100,000 in cash and property.
We both wear pants
i don't allow women to wear pants, infact you've probably heard about all the people breaking into stores and stealing and shoplifting? yea those are my disciples. you probably didn't hear as the media often lies about the details but they steal EXCLUSIVELY women's pants
as stands we have executed 3 million pairs of women's pants, bloomers, and pantaloons. let this be a lesson to all lady garments that protect the posterior. women should be NAKED at all times
Either i wear the pants or we both wear the pants. But either way, i’ll be in some pants too. Im too bossy to take the backseat to decisionmaking
I want my man to be the symbolic head of the household and carry most of the financial burden but otherwise I want an equal partnership with love and respect.
It depends. Honestly, generally speaking, my husband definitely, but with some exceptions. The exceptions, for the most part, have to do with the home and especially the kids.
I rather have a girlfriend who would wear the pants/skirts in the relationship
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