How do you feel about the person that married you, never worked, then later thought they deserved more out of life and now you are paying alimony?

[DaveJord]

Let it all hang out feel free to vent, tell me how you feel.

[AnthonyJ01]

My son's mother lived around women who knew how to beat the system. 3-4 children. Each with a different man. Child supportvis 1/4 income multiplied by the number of children is a tax free income, huge tax refund, free Medicare, food stamps, rent =1/4 income, free utilities. Although I was never married to her.

[AnthonyJ01]

My ex wife tried to threaten me with taking 1/2 my retirement. I just let her know that no attorney or judge could do that because she was never married to me when I was in te military and federal law prevents that.

[shaysh87]

you don't know how alimony works or why it exists. When you're a perverted 45 yr old who only wants an 18 yr old for a housewife, she is missing out on the most crucial developmental parts of her life for her education and career. In simpler words, you have TAKEN AWAY her opportunity to get an education or develop a career. Now she's 18-25, staying home with 3 kids wasting away her youth on caring for YOUR children.

Now you want to divorce her. SHE HAS NO MEANS TO SURVIVE ON HER OWN. She has nothing. She doesn't have an education, doesn't have the skills to obtain a decent job. And its because you have taken away her chance at these things. Now you are owing her for all her years lost. This is what alimony is meant for.

[michael1469]

You dont think she can find a job to support herself for some reason? So what about woman and men who go back to school in there 30 or 40s... to get a better job... you dont new alimony to go back to school

[DaveJord]

@shaysh87 I am 45 my ex is 45, my ex has a masters degree... and refuses to get a job.

[shaysh87]

@michael1469

How are you gonna go back to school when you don’t have money to go back to school? How are you gonna go to school if you have 3 kids to cook clean and teach every night? Besides that , nobody is gonna hire a 30-40 yr old rookie. Generally speaking If you’re over 30, employers are much less likely to want to train you. If you’re over 35, 95% of that hope is already gone

[shaysh87]

@DaveJord

There’s a difference between not being able to get a decent job with a survivable wage versus being able to get a job but just unwilling to get one.

[michael1469]

Student loans and a job. I have seen it done wo issues stop making excuses for yourself to not succeed.

[DaveJord]

@shaysh87 As long as you understand that I did not marry an 18 year old at 45 and take advantage of her... that's my point.

[shaysh87]

@michael1469

haha. mark zuckerberg made it to millionaire status without graduating from college. so why aren't you a millionaire? I've seen it done without a college degree. so no excuses for you either.

[shaysh87]

@DaveJord

psh... I can say that from my experience, men in their 40s have no interest in 18 yr old girls. The only ones who are interested tend to be perverts. Such relationships don't tend to last anyways. Its almost always cuz about infatuation, sex, father figure type of thing. he's just gonna date her at 18 then dump her by the time she turns 30 for another 18 yr old.

[shaysh87]

@DaveJord

but thats the problem with stay home wives. Society glorifies them as hard working , sacrificial people, dedicated.

But reality is, this is only the truth when kids are young. Once the kids hit middle school, the workload significantly decreases. It no longer becomes hard. Believe it or not, there are ton of housewives who complain about being bored out of their minds while their kids are at school all day.

Housewiving is also a popular role amongst lazy women who just want to take the easy way out.

My parents both worked full time jobs while coming home every night to cook, clean, tutor me on homework. So its totally possible to raise kids with both parents working full time. In fact, most parents in the country both work.

[DaveJord]

@shaysh87 I totally agree Shaysh. I love these women that say stay at home mom is full time job. I agree that it is, but it is also far more rewarding than dragging your ass through a 9 to 5 job for 30 years plus career. And like you said, after the ages of 12 to 14 it really get a lot easier, especially when the kids are doing 50% of all the house work...

[shaysh87]

@DaveJord

If your husband makes enough money , you can be a stay home mom all you want. No problem with that. THe only problem is when your husband cannot exactly afford a stay home wife, but you insist on staying home anyways. This comes at a huge cost to the children. Frequently this means not being able to attend the college of their choice or being forced to not attend college at all. Nobody cares how much your mom "stayed home", if they see you struggling to pay your rent working a minimum wage job at mcdonalds. All they see is just a loser that his parents failed him. Believe it or not, if you grow up uneducated and unable to sufficiently support yourself, it is FAILURE on the parent's part.

Many people can say that you don't need a college degree to earn a decent living. But the jobs where you can make a decent living without college degree is very LIMITED: trade jobs or tech jobs or working as a hairdresser. Your children aren't left with many options to pick from. If you don't want to do any of these jobs, you're pretty much screwed.

[shaysh87]

@DaveJord

women on here are shamed and vilified for not staying home for their kids. When in reality, these women are just looking out for their children's best interest. My parents both worked not only to make ends meet but also to make sure that my brother and I had enough to pay for college.

[michael1469]

FYI... who said i wasn't?

[shaysh87]

@michael1469

If you were , you wouldn’t be on here

[Andres77]

@shaysh87
STFU you know nothing stu pid bee itch.
How fkng ignorant can you be?
You should be embarrassed by how s t u p I d you are..

[shaysh87]

@Andres77

Maybe if you continued cursing at me , it’ll make you feel better about being a loser

[michael1469]

I do have free time duh

[AnthonyJ01]

I was 49 when I married my 2nd wife. She was 39. When she cheated on me and filed for divorce, she tried to threaten me with taking 1/2 of what she called my retirement. I informed her that she could not get an attorney or a judge that could do it. Her full time job paid more than my part time job. She had no chance because she was never married to me when I was in the military. That is the first requirement and no judge can overrule it.

[shaysh87]

@AnthonyJ01

Well sounds like your ex wife just used you for money

[petitedollbabee]

Alimony doesn’t exist in my country and I don’t understand why it exists in other countries, so can’t say.

[Dchrls78104]

An unfortunate situation, if there ever was one; and part of my worst nightmare. My heart goes out to any man who finds himself in it. Good thing for me, though, I've never dated; life is already difficult enough for everybody and I wouldn't like to have to add something like this to my list of worries.

[Anonymous]

This by far the biggest reason I'm single. When you hear the horror stories of men. And then the women, 1. Don't even try to deny it but, 2. Actually feel justified in the way they've destroyed guys' lives.
It's really hard to trust any women today seeing what they're capable of.

[DaveJord]

Differently you can end up being penalized for being successful in spite of your spouse... definitely not because of her.

[Andres77]

Leech and a parasite.
Disgusting example of a human being

[DaveJord]

You can say that again!

[Daniela1982]

If she never worked she must have been either a housewife or a leech. If she was a home maker she deserves alimony. If she was a leech you deserve a kick in the butt for enabling her. Even so she can get alimony, whether deserved or not, by law.

[shaysh87]

A lotta housewives are leeches. Because many of them actually just are housewives to avoid working a real job

[Daniela1982]

@shaysh87 Why do you think all these women marry rich men. Just to be arm candy? Moocher. com members.

[DaveJord]

Well all can say is that being a home maker is hard work. But its also very fulfilling, most couples want kids together. So giving up working or not working at all for something you love and find very fulfilling is not really all that difficult or a sacrifice. And definitely not a hard think to ask someone to make sure tge kids get to school before going back to bed.

And let's be honest once the kids are 12 or 14 its time to contribute financially. Back in the day, being a homemaker was noble... because the women conceeded ultimate authority to the man. But thats not the case anymore. Men just want women to pull thier weight not do their landry.

[shaysh87]

@daniela1982

Most women don’t marry rich men. There simply aren’t enough rich men to go around. And when rich men look for wives , they mostly tend to end up marrying rich women

[shaysh87]

The poor women marrying rich men is more of what you see in Hollywood , it rarely happens in real life

[Daniela1982]

@shaysh87 The thing is, there are not that many hot looking rich women. When a rich man wants arm candy he is going for looks and body, not a bank account.

[shaysh87]

@DaveJord

Unless the man is financially very well off, he wouldn’t be comfortable with a housewife

[DaveJord]

@shaysh87 True rich guys marry arm candy and recycle then ever 3 to 5 years before they can take him for much. But those guys are far and few between, and when they do finally marry someone for real they want someone who doesn't need his money.

[shaysh87]

@daniela1982

Rich men tend to be educated men. These guys tend to want a woman who is both attractive and educated and somewhat successful. Why would he marry a bimbo without an education or intelligence over someone who he can actually relate and connect with?

[shaysh87]

@daniela1982

Like there are leagues for looks , there are also leagues for intelligence and success. Smart guys look for more than just someone he can have sex with

[fred_durst]

i would blame myself for my stupid decision to get married

[DaveJord]

Yeah what a sap I was... lol.

[JamesRandiDebates]

The question pretty much describes every female on the planet

[DaveJord]

There's some hope for optimisiam

[Bluemax]

I wouldn't marry someone who never worked.

[Not_Average]

Of course that’s upsetting

[Anonymous]

I'm not an idiot to be in that situation.

[Jamie05rhs]

Not gonna happen.

[DaveJord]

Stay strong brother! 💪

[Anonymous]

I do not listen to the government
so I would never pay child support or alimony

they are basically asking for a death sentence
I have no issues ending their worthless lives

[DaveJord]

Yikes!

[Anonymous]

You should have got the prenup.

[DaveJord]

Well I got married at 20 and my wife was 20. So when you have no assets at the time of marriage you can not get a prenup. And even if we did get a prenup... over the course of 20 year marriage that prenup would not stand up in court... conditions and legal considerations change over time and prenup will not with stand. Its a common believe that prenups protect you and to a degree they do... but once you get over the 10 year mark of marriage it is considered a long term marriage so prenup does not hold up unless you are renewing it and constantly updating it.

[Opinion Owner]

That's why I will never marry someone in my twenties. My friends are doing it at 21,22, 23 and I am 25. Not planning to get married up to 33-34. If you marry that early there can be high chances you will get bored plus will struggle with finances. Plus anyone can feel what's more out there. Even though you are marrying late, updating prep up every ten years sounds wise. Marriage is not an emotional decision for men as most laws are biased.

[DaveJord]

There is wisdom in that.