Are there any women out there that don't fit the two standard relationship molds when it comes to finances? Which type of woman are you?

[MCheetah]

Netflix's The Tinder Swindler

It is said there are two types of modern women out there when it comes to relationships.

1) The "traditional conservative" woman who wants to be the stay-at-home mom and housewife and never have to work and get financially catered to, left and right. This woman has clear expectations from the relationship: You take care of her financially, and if she feels like it, she'll be good to you. (Besides sex, it's basically no different than owning a pet.)

2) And then, there's the "yeeees slay queen!" working professional career woman, who claims to be "independent" and "makes her own money," but at the same time, refuses to EVER 'date down', be with a man who makes less money than her, or ever financially chip into shared finances in a relationship. Or as these women put it,
"Your money is for the household, my money is for me." Especially evidenced in Netflix's recent hypergamous documentary The Tinder Swindler, where gold-diggers are made out to be "victims" to a male con-artist even though it would be socially acceptable and okay if it were the other way around.

The "rich girl, poor guy" story usually only happens in movies.

So, here's my question:

WHICH TYPE OF WOMAN ARE YOU, WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS AND FINANCES?

Be honest!!!

And before anyone gives me any lip or BS, don't even bother. This is simply reality. Most modern women fall into one of these two categories. As the old saying goes, "Don't kill the messenger."

I'm more of a TradCon woman who wants to be pampered and catered to by a good man with a well-paying career.

I'm more of a professional career woman who wants to be spoiled and indulged by a wealthy or successful man.

I'm a woman who doesn't fit either of these archetypes and more than willing to financially support a man who earns less than me.

I'm a man; just here for the results.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I've got no issues with my man making less than me, right now he only makes about 60k a year, so I'm quite a bit more than him. We do plan to have joint finances though, when we get married. Everything goes into same account and we share it. I have no issues with him being stay at home dad for any children too, as it seems better that whoever makes more keeps working.

I we/are flexible though and adjusts as needed, if he suddenly got a job making way more, we might switch roles and do what is best for the household.

In a way this is what I call traditional small town survival work ethics though, most people do this around here. My mother may not have had a income paying job her whole life but she always worked, raising the kids and helping to run the farm. Doing actual jobs to avoid having to hire someone to do that job. Was she paid for it, nope but it saved them money in the long run, year after year.

What I don't like is seeing someone who wants to be taken care of and all they do is play on social media all freaking day long, they don't clean the house, they ignore the kids and they do like freaking nothing. Those are the ultimate free loader waste of space people. That or they play online games or whatever all day long.

[MCheetah]

"he only makes about 60k a year, so I'm quite a bit more than him."

This is some unhumble-ass humblebragging! LOL

"we/are flexible though and adjusts as needed, if he suddenly got a job making way more, we might switch roles and do what is best for the household."

This is quite rare for women. Most I've met would say "get a new job/second job, or else, I'm divorcing you."

"In a way this is what I call traditional small town survival work ethics though, most people do this around here."

Damn. Maybe I should've grew up in a small town, then.

"What I don't like is seeing someone who wants to be taken care of and all they do is play on social media all freaking day long, they don't clean the house, [they don't or can't cook,] they ignore the kids and they do nothing."

You just described the modern Western newlywed woman. Job optional, but if so, usually something like Etsy or OF. And then, on that same note, women tell me if they complain about it, they're "misogynists" or some sh*t. Even though you as a woman, also stated how much this would suck to have to deal with. Right? To add some irony to this, a lot of these same women don't even want kids, which would be their excuse for not working anyway. I mean, at the very least, that's how modern CITY women are, in my experience.

[MCheetah]

And then, on that same note, women tell *men

[Aerissa_Jade]

My sister is a stay at home mom and the house is spotless, could be shown daily to people wanting to buy it. That is her job, take care of the kids and clean the house. When her husband goes off to work, she spends most the day cleaning, taking kids to and from school, etc... it is never sit around and goof off. That is what I mean by small town values. They may text or talk on the phone to gossip though, which kind of sucks cause everyone is in everyone's business.

I wasn't meaning to brag as 60k a year is kind of crappy here, cost of living is so high. That won't even buy a house.

Having lived in Vegas and other larger cities I definitely see what you mean by different values, the work ethics is not the same. The people in the town I grew up in are very hard workers, in a way I'm like them. I've had several 70 hour weeks this year so far and expect another one next week.

[MCheetah]

@Aerissa_Jade
You have opened my eyes a little bit. Maybe people in small towns aren't as selfish.

[sunflower00]

I mean, I would say most are a little in between. These are two extremes. I work, my partner works, and we both pay for things equally and this is what I witness most with people I know. I don’t want to be a stay at home mom because I don’t want kids, but if someone was staying at home looking after the kids then I can see that they would need financial support from their partner too. But I’d rather we both just worked and paid for things equally 🤷🏼‍♀️

[MCheetah]

When you say "pay for things equally," do you mean you each use your own money to buy your own things? Or that his money becomes "our money?"

[sunflower00]

Use our own money and take turns paying for things like meals, food shops etc.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Both are extremes.
However, I’d be happy as hell to be a stay at home mom and take care of the household, kids, and husband… But there’s a part of me that has a drive to want to work and help bring in income because it feels wrong (to me) to rely solely on my husbands income.
I didn’t choose “neither” because in reality, my job and what I have a career in, is not enough to support me, a husband, and children, etc.

[MCheetah]

But ultimately, it sounds like you're saying you'd be mostly like the first option, the stay-at-home mom.

[KrisPW]

I'm definitely in the middle of this one. While I wouldn't mind being a stay at home mother, I would not just be a stay at home wife. If there is no family reason to stay home, I'd rather be working and contributing financially as I can. If I make more or less than my fiance really wouldn't matter to me, as long as we're both working / trying to succeed.

If I were to stay home and live from his finances, I would consider it my job to raise the kids and to make his home / life easier. To take care of the things he/we need taken care of to enjoy life.

[Prettygurl12]

I have outearned my husband for our entire relationship up until like 6 months ago and I've never had an issue with it.

[MCheetah]

What does he do for a living and how much do you out-earn him by? I already know your job, and they don't exactly pay six figures.

[pleasestopthis]

I don't fit any of these options and I currently don't have a partner, so I don't really know how things will turn out.
I do want to marry a guy with a decent paycheck every month even if I work and earn enough, because If I ever get pregnant, my ideal choice would be to quit my job for a few years until the kids start school. No point in having kids and having someone else raise them for me.

[Lucy68]

When I get married I'm still going to work, however, when I give birth to my first baby I want to be a stay at home mom but when they get older I'm going to try to be a stay at home working mom (I wanted to be an online professor).

[RealMarek]

Based on my experience these types are more common in the middle class. Lower and working class women are much less apt to have these mentalities. Life is much more about survival for them.

[MCheetah]

Eh... I grew up super lower-class and I still met plenty of women who wanted to be the next Beyoncé (despite lacking any intelligence, work ethic, or job skills) and plenty of women who just wanted to marry a rich white guy. So I'm not so sure about that. Though I an agree that most rich women want to marry even richer men.

[RealMarek]

Good point. I’ve seen the types you mention as well. I’ve just seen more women from that background not have high expectations too.

[KlinkyCoder]

Why can't there be women who can accept staying at home and the husband is a well-paid person, but be flexible enough to switch that role around when time calls for it? Neither of the archetypes you listed are good for couples or families.

[MCheetah]

As I said, these are just what most women seem to want, nowadays. (Though none will admit it.) I don't like either side either, but I can't control how women want to live in a relationship.

[Hangry06]

There're many women in this world. I am sure they exist

[Raphaëlle]

I don't care if my partner's income is less or more than my own. I don't want to be a housewife and of course I want to earn my own income. We would both be contributing to the relationship.

[Realworldanalysis]

In b4 the comment section is filled with women saying they aren't like that and are unique and different.

[MCheetah]

Too late for that.

[douride2]

I don't fit any of those choices.

[JosyJosy]

Neither of those two