I have forgotten what my boyfriend's dick looks like?

[Anonymous]

My long-distance boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. We've mostly been in different cities with like...5 weekends spent together in a year max. Now we've moved to different countries pursuing our professional goals. The relationship is beautiful, supportive, motivating and he genuinely makes me happy We have worked on ourselves and our bond and I think we really understand each other. It has been more than a year since I've seen him and have no clue when one of us will be able to travel to the other. Everything is good but I miss dick. I've not seen him for a year, it's weird to tell him to whip it out (>.<!). We've tried sexting/video sex but it gets weird - both of us like physical intimacy so digital doesn't cut it. I cannot imagine being with anyone else so being in an open relationship won't work either (I think). I have communicated all these feelings to him and he acknowledged it and we've been on more (non-sexual) video calls since but!!! I'm still hungry for it. I feel like shit because all this sounds so self-centred. I want to be understanding for him but my brain just says - Oh, hE dOeSn'T FiNd mE aTtRaCtiVe AnYmOrE! - which I'm sure is not true. I'm confused. HELP!

Updates

+1 y

P. S. Those who are saying we should get married/live together - this is not possible for at least the next 1-2 years.

[boggboss]

Meh u are just overthinking and entertaining insecurities as for seeing his dick the only way that will happen is through setting or vid calls so have to decide to give it another go or be happy with it

[Asker]

I get what you're saying. And yeah, I'm dealing/being happy with how things are.
I could mention this to him again but he will get annoyed.
It sounds like some obsession I have with his body - well, of course, I love it! but it's not an obsession. I think it's very reasonable for me to want to know/see him undressed - but I have mentioned this one or two times and if I do again, it'll sound pushy/intrusive.
Ideal scenario will be that it comes from him, honestly.

[boggboss]

So what happens when u bring it up?

[Asker]

He listens. Doesn't say much.
The last time I brought it up (1 month ago), he sent a shirtless pic to me the next day and I got happy cuz I thought He has got the message and we were going to make it through this weird-no sex phase - but I was wrong. things got back to the way they were.

[boggboss]

And what do u do to keep things sexy

[Asker]

I flirt a lot, we talk about fantasies. I used to send pictures but stopped because he wouldn't react to them. I asked him why he didn't react to photos/ videos and he said that getting a one-off thing without any context doesn't arouse him on and he keeps busy so getting an instant reaction is difficult anyways. So I started trying to use my 'sexy voice' on calls to get us into the mood and create that whole atmosphere BUT! connection issues, time lags, phone/camera handling, etc is a lot of work and makes the whole experience feel like a burden rather than something we should enjoy.

[boggboss]

Oh fair enough and u have spoken to him and explained that this is somthing that u are missing and would like some type of fix to the situation

[Asker]

Yes, I have.

[boggboss]

Then I guess u have to become content with the situation ot continue to bring it up yourself

[Asker]

Hmm... feels like a dead end.
and I hate that this whole issue is only bothering me.
I have stopped being sexual in calls+no such photos for him anymore but that doesn't solve my problem so that doesn't matter much.

[boggboss]

Pfc it won't solve your problem because it's only a problem to you I don't feel u have contained how u feel seriously as to make him understand that its a issue

[Asker]

I'm honestly afraid of bringing it up again.

[boggboss]

Then like I said it will have to be somthing u just accept he won't bring it up because its not a issue for him

[Maxnanet]

does the sexting turn you on a bit at least? i know physical is more fun , but still could be exciting

[Asker]

It does but video/audio quality, time lags, phone angles, etc make it very difficult to keep the mood right.

[Maxnanet]

But you gotta try to be imaginative i guess ! I've had some of the best sex talk , or text or vid in some of the worst conditions, but other stuff can also maie this hot

[Maxnanet]

That is , if you think there is somtn hot in that

[Asker]

I used to do sexting/video sex A LOT in my previous relationship (which was also long-distance) and it was AMAZING and I was reallllyyy good at it. That's why I was very confident going into my 2nd long-distance relationship that sexual stuff will be easy to manage.
However, with my current boyfriend, even though everything else is near perfect, I just can't figure out how to sext with him. we like/fantasize about different things But I never thought it'll be so difficult with him.

[Maxnanet]

You mean , you both r turned on by different things? When it happens , you r not really turned on? I mean , its one of my fav thing even when we r living together i like to do it when we r apart ! Or many times i dis with other peoples, you gotta get into what is exciting for both cuz something that turn him on but you r not will get you nowhere for sure !

[Asker]

yeah, you're right. that is what happens.
One scenario that works for us always is talking about living together and what moments we want to create, what things we wanna do - but this makes us feel in love/romantic, not aroused, or aroused in a way that makes us want to cuddle. Doesn't make us want to have video sex or anything.

[Maxnanet]

But obviously, you would like to? You would like to get naughty with hum ! Surprising ! Its often the other way around

[Maxnanet]

You can message me if you’d like !

But im sure that there is a way to awake the sleeping beast in him if that is what you’d like ;)

[Maxnanet]

Did you try something new last night? Haha

[Im_a_girl_lol]

get married lol or at least you could move in together

[Asker]

Not possible for another 2 years

[IsoUser]

Not to be to forward but you should Show him or her your inner labia and your swollen clitoris , OMG you just make my mouth water.

[Dragonstarterplus]

"both of us like physical intimacy"

Doesn't really seem like it, at least not with each other, not if y'all have only seen each other 5 times a year for the last 4 years

[Asker]

it is not like we don't want to see each other, it's not realistically possible for us.

[Henry___Blakes]

I see it on calls right

[Asker]

Nope. I would've been seeing it on calls, it wouldn't have become a problem at all.

[Henry___Blakes]

Oh but why? We're long distance too. And i show her through video call lol

[Asker]

I wish I knew.
I just do not know how to make him realise that it's bothering me. I'm not scared that he's cheating or anything but sex is an important part of any relationship and it's very important to me.
Even when I take initiative, he refrains from participating. I could be doing all sorts of things and he'll just sit there, watching. If I ask him to do something, he'll just be like I'm tired/it's more fun watching you/it's too cold to take my clothes off or something like that. I'm also lowkey concerned about any medical issues he might be facing that he doesn't wanna tell me.

[Henry___Blakes]

Ohh so you guys don't sext or have video sex? Comeon girl, take the lead

[Asker]

Trust me, I've tried. I cannot crack it.
I'm usually the one to take the lead. I asked him out on the 1st date, I asked him to be my boyfriend. and I don't mind. I am someone who takes the first step. But whenever I try to take the conversation in a more adult direction while on the phone, I feel like he's not interested or like I'm forcing him to do something. It doesn't feel as natural as it should.
I just end up wishing if he could take just a little bit of interest once in a while, the story would be different.

[Henry___Blakes]

Why don't you try bringing up the whole mood and suddenly say some straight dirty pickup line?
OR
Play some dirty games like truth or dare
OR
Tell him a seductive lie like you dreamt of him rubbing his dick between your legs

[Asker]

We did try playing truth & dare/strip poker sort of games but it always feels like we're running out of time and should get over with all that stupid drama. but without the mood+drama, he doesn't get it on. (it a vicious circle)
telling him about some dream is a good idea (and it wouldn't even be a lie in my case) so I will try that but I have a strong feeling that he'll just end up listening to the whole thing quietly instead of participating.

[Henry___Blakes]

Haha. We're almost on the same boat. But here, I'm trying to seduce her hard. She is mostly busy. Maybe he's busy too. When you tell about the dream, exaggerate and tell in details 😉

[Asker]

I'll give this a try for sure. thanks!

[Icybread]

Find a way to move in together.

[Asker]

Not possible for another 2 years - I am trying to find a way to visit in the next 6 months but not sure how realistic that is because of our work commitments (and visa/flight issues)

[Icybread]

I understand. at least you get to be together in 2 years and time flies. Good luck on visiting

[Asker]

Thanks! :)

[Anonymous]

But video is better than nothing ain't it?

[Asker]

Yes. I love seeing his face but Gosh! gimme some sugar, you know?

[Iron_Man]

Get married

[Asker]

Not possible for another 2 years

[Kurdistan1991]

İ can't say nothing

[Anonymous]

Come on, four years and you still aren't married?

[Twalli]

My girlfriend and I will be together 4 years by the end of June, we won't be married then. I probably wouldn't even be engaged to her unless I win the lottery.

[Asker]

@Twalli exactly lol! getting married isn't the most practical solution in most cases.

[Twalli]

Actually it's because I need an income before marrying her and I don't want the lump sum.