What's more important in a relationship, CHEMISTRY or COMPATIBILITY?

[coachTanthony]

Chemistry

Compatibility

See poll ( I love you Coach )

[jennifer_bloom]

I care more about compatibility because any guy that I have an exclusive emotional connection to is someone I can develop romantic feelings for, he does not have to look like a super model, have Herculean muscles or drive a Porsche, but if communication doesn’t work, the relationship will be damaged beyond repair.

[TRORT]

I agree

[Lookingforthetruth]

lol at the lies women tell men.

[Jamie05rhs]

I agree with you, Jennifer. But communication and compatibility are not the same thing.
(Though communication HELPS people be more compatible by softening the differences.)

[lilyanony1]

I have thought about this long and really hard.
And I have compatibility with a lot of people because I'm easy going.
No not a push over but I have a lot of interests and hobbies.
I although don't specialise on any particular topics I can talk about various things. And I'm genuinely interested in hearing your individual comment...
But when it comes to dating, I don't have chemistry with a lot of those people.

Men in the past have suggested that they think we make a good match and wanted something from it.
But the chemistry just wasn't there.

As a women that gets approached, if I'm lucky, once a year.
It's important that I have the chemistry, without it we're just flat mates!

And I say this because I'm respectful enough as a human being to treat you with respect and show you kindness.
But it's gotta go that one step further, to keep me wanting to sleep with you.

[TRORT]

Wait , you only get approached once years🥺? Why? Is that why you hide your face in your profile?🧐

[TheSpaceGnome]

Compatibility, because it's what allows for chemistry.

Seeing as you wrote them as separate things though, what sort of things would even allow for chemistry without first being compatibility? I can't think of any.

[coachTanthony]

Attraction is part of chemistry... whether or not you want kids and get married in the future is compatibility.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Shared interests, hobbies, views, goals = compatibility

Chemistry = getting along during interactions, which is only possible with compatibility.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Lust =/= chemistry

[TheSpaceGnome]

You can find a person attractive and have zero chemistry with them.

[coachTanthony]

Okay thanks for the comments

[Jamie05rhs]

@TheSpaceGnome A lot of people have chemistry even if they aren't compatible. Why do you think there are so many divorces?

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Jamie05rhs If they divorce, it's because of a lack of chemistry.

You don't divorce when you get along, you divorce when you hate eachother.

[Jamie05rhs]

Nope; that's not true in most cases. Chemistry is only a minor factor. Most divorces are brought on my major issues in the relationship, which are inevitably caused when two people get together that are not compatible with one another.
For example, different hobbies, different sleep schedules, different values, different love languages, different senses of humor, different saving/spending habits, different sexual preferences, different parenting philosophies, different cleaning habits, different drinking habits, different dietary preferences, different musical tastes, etc etc etc etc etc.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Jamie05rhs

"Most divorces are brought on my major issues in the relationship, which are inevitably caused when two people get together that are not compatible with one another."

Yes, and without compatibility, chemistry can't happen.

"For example, different hobbies, different sleep schedules, different values, different love languages, different senses of humor, different saving/spending habits, different sexual preferences, different parenting philosophies, different cleaning habits, different drinking habits, different dietary preferences, different musical tastes, etc etc etc etc etc."

So a lack of compatibility induced chemistry then. You are only validating my point.

[Jamie05rhs]

"Yes, and without compatibility, chemistry can't happen."
Yes, it absolutely can!
Dude, I crazy chemistry with this chick at work, but that doesn't mean we were compatible. We weren't. She already had a kid.
Also, Aaron Rodgers and Shailene Woodley had chemistry, but they weren't compatible either.

[Jamie05rhs]

"So a lack of compatibility induced chemistry then. You are only validating my point.". What are you even talking about?

[mobiusforniner]

Chemistry makes for good passion but like any reduction oxidation reaction, the exothermic passion quickly fizzles into a placid mixture of unexciting goo.

[coachTanthony]

Bahahahaahaha that’s a mouthful

[muscularbumblebee]

I think although both are extremely important for a relationship chemistry is more superficial.. it’s more important for say a friends with benefits or hookup but if you don’t have the compatibility in a relationship, once that chemistry dies you’re going to have nothing left apart from that little spark of attraction

[wheresmrcunnunglis]

Well said!

[Jadethedream]

I think both are important if want a lasting relationship you can't have love and passion without some chemistry. And you would struggle to keep each other together if they do not see common ground on things they both want like whether be marriage kids or even sex compatibility. all these things matter that sometimes it's hard to compromise on.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Well said

[TransAm85]

Compatibility. I've been married 9 years, but together almost 12. In the beginning our chemistry was in the honeymoon phase and I paid no attention to the little quirks. Now, I c that we don't have so much in common cept cars and home improvement.

[babybunny06]

Chemistry. Opposites attract, at least it has been that way in my life. So I say chemistry. There is not fun when you don’t vibe. Two people can have a lot in common and not have the feelings that make then romantic

[dustybiker]

Compatibility comes second. You need that to stay friends. You can be friends with anyone. In a good and deep connecting relationship you must have chemistry first. That magic can last the long haul.

[Alyssa_11]

To me it’s compatibility because chemistry could fade away and when things get hard you need to like minded people to make things work.

[Squaresquirrel]

Without chemistry, there's no compatibility. Without compatibility, there's no long term relationship.

[lottiebannotie]

Chemistry brings you together compatibility keeps you together if you want more than a fling compatibility all the way

[shaysh87]

you won't realize that compatibility is more important until years into a marriage or relationship.

[Jamie05rhs]

No; a lot of people learn the hard way even within the first 5 years.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

You’d be surprised how many people marry people they’re not compatible with

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

Many Idiots nowadays prioritize chemistry over compatibility

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 👍👍💯. That's exactly what I said! 😂

[Jamie05rhs]

We're 100% in agreement. :)

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

You’re a good decent guy. What are you doing on this website filled with bitter sad angry misogynists who can’t get any women? Go out and meet some new friends. You’ll find way more decent people in real life than on here

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 Thanks! I really appreciate that compliment. :)

I'm mainly here because I find the questions to be interesting and I enjoy the dialogue with others and thinking through the different topics and examining all of the various angles. (Even if I do troll a little bit, that's just for fun and entertainment.)

[Jamie05rhs]

And @shaysh87 I do have a lot of friends; unfortunately, the majority of them are married already.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

Don’t let the attitudes of sad bitter frustrated misogynists on here rub onto you. Decent people like you are very hard to come by on this website

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 I will try my best. Thank you. ♥️

Sometimes it's hard, though, knowing what to do or what to think. Because, being single, I'm pretty much just charting my own path in life and I'm not really influenced by anything other than my own personal whims. Except those things which I know to be right and wrong, of course.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

I just don’t want their filthiness to taint you.

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 I understand.

[LDN924853]

Its a balance, you have to have both but at the right balanace for yourselves personally. I like to have SOMETHING in common with you but for me its mostly about the chemistry

[Lionman95]

What's the difference? I don't think there is a difference if the chemistry is good we're compatible.

[coachTanthony]

If she wants kids and you don't then your not compatible.

[Lionman95]

Thanks for the clarification. I´d therefore go for compatibility because chemistry I´d say is easier to achieve.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Chemistry and good communication. Compatibility can be made if both partners respect each other and are willing to adjust their lifestyles

[MCheetah]

What is the difference between the two? I thought they were the same. 🤔

[coachTanthony]

chemistry is based on emotions compatibility is based on things in common and future goals.

[MCheetah]

I always thought chemistry was how well you got along with each other, while compatibility was how much you had in common, but both were valid reasons to like each other. I guess compatibility matters more then, based on your interpretation.

[Darine123]

Compatibility, is the most important cuz chemistry can be gone one day

[katiesmuff]

I think both are very important and not sure one is more important than the other.

[SmokyOne]

They're both equally important.
No chemistry = friends
No compatibility = friends with benefits or one night stand
Have both and you get a relationship

[rosemary170]

Compatibility is by far the most important thing in a relationship.

[Dchrls78104]

For me, it's compatibility that is more important. Compatibility can enhance chemistry just like love can enhance sex; not the other way round.

[Jamie05rhs]

COMPATIBILITY!!!

(This is why women fail at relationships!!)

[coachTanthony]

Yes because all men go for compatibility first LOL

[Jamie05rhs]

@coachTanthony No; some of them just go for a nice ass and nice tits. Lol

[coachTanthony]

Well that is where chemistry starts lol

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 lol. I'm just tagging you here so you can see what I wrote.

[Jamie05rhs]

And @coachTanthony Maybe on his end. But I think on her end it's more about his chest and arms and the words that he says. And if he has "swagger," I guess.

[shaysh87]

@coachTanthony

If you think chemistry starts with ass and tits, then it’s no wonder why you fail at relationships

[coachTanthony]

@shaysh87 You shouldn't just assume what people think. Let's normalize not putting words in people's mouths so you can make some derogatory comment about someone else. Shame on you. Do better.

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 Ngl; what you said was kind of a cheap shot. I have to defend @coachTanthony here; sorry.

Also, I was the first one who said that. He was just piggybacking on my comment. And he was joking anyway.

[coachTanthony]

@Jamie05rhs 100 percent my man. We were just joking around hence the LOL. Thanks.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

Since when does chemistry start with ass Ans tits? If that’s your gauge for relationship potential then thats why you’re still single Ans on a bitter site like GAG

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 Please read what I said again.

"No; some of them just go for a nice ass and nice tits. Lol"

I said "SOME OF THEM."

[Jamie05rhs]

Also, chemistry doesn't equal relationship potential anyway. Which was my entire point.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

Sexual attraction is not chemistry ok?

. Just cus you are attracted to her body , it doesn’t necessarily mean you would date her. There’s a different. Only adults understand this

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 I agree with you that chemistry is more than just sexual attraction. It's also pheromones, and the ability to dialogue easily, and making the other person smile and have butterflies in there heart.

[Jamie05rhs]

their

[Jamie05rhs]

Just curious, though: how would YOU define "chemistry," personally?

[Jamie05rhs]

"Just cus you are attracted to her body , it doesn’t necessarily mean you would date her."
And I completely agree with this, by the way.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

When we refer to “chemistry” we usually are referring to attraction via conversation, not sexual attraction.

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 Interesting. 🤔. I think you're probably right! I think that's probably absolutely true in the case of women.
(Though wouldn't you say that being mesmerized by his dreamy eyes may play a part in it?)

For us men, I do believe that a lot of it IS physical. But a lot of it is also the conversation as well.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

Everyone needs to be physically attracted to start a relationship. It’s just that some people value it as a bigger priority than others,

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

But any mature adult knows that just because they are physically attracted to someone , it doesn’t necessarily mean they wanna start a relationship with them. Only teenagers would think the way you do.

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 I agree with you, and I already addressed that. Scroll up.

[Jamie05rhs]

I said,

" "Just cus you are attracted to her body , it doesn’t necessarily mean you would date her."
And I completely agree with this, by the way."

[coachTanthony]

@Jamie05rhs She just keeps insulting you all the way down the thread. For the love of GOD just stop.

[Jamie05rhs]

@coachTanthony It's alright. She doesn't know me very well. That's why I want to be patient with her and give her a chance to understand me better.

[coachTanthony]

@Jamie05rhs That is a ton of energy for a stranger AKA keyboard warrior. You do you my man.

[shaysh87]

@coachtanthonyt

his entire place is littered with either old perverts or bitter sad angry frustrated misogynists

If you’re a decent guy with a decent dating life , you wouldn’t be on here

[coachTanthony]

@shaysh87 True I am a decent guy with an awesome dating life that GETS PAID to be here. Why TF are you here but to be toxic AF?

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 So you think all decent guys have good luck finding a good woman? Because that just simply isn't true, unfortunately. And I'm not complaining about it, don't get me wrong; I'm just stating a fact.

[Jamie05rhs]

Also, just because I'm a good person doesn't mean I have social skills or "game."

[shaysh87]

@coachTanthony

Your words show otherwise.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

Decent guys tend to get taken as they get older. It’s the truth that many find offensive. It’s only a matter of time before these indecent people start rubbing off on to you. There is a saying “you become who you hangout with the most”

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 Then why don't we try this? Let's be friends, so you can rub off on me and make me a better person. I am making you that offer right now, in 100% sincerity.

[coachTanthony]

@shaysh87

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

Honestly I’d keep your interactions on this website on the minimum and spend more energy meeting new friends in real life or getting a social life outside the internet. You’re at the age where you should be actively looking. I have a feeling you’re not

Sad bitter hateful people will just breed more sad bitter hateful people. I’ve seen you bitter Ans hateful before , quite unusual since I know you’re typically not like that.

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 I like this website, though.
And as long as I'm stuck at home, the internet is what I use to maintain my sanity.

You're welcome to suggest questions to me, though, if you want to steer me in a better direction.

[Jamie05rhs]

by the way, I am actively searching. The problem is on Okcupid I can only swipe left or right. There is no middle option. So if I see someone I am unsure about, I just have to leave the app as it is and come back the next day when they will change the suggestion. So that slows down the process a lot.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

No offense but it’s largely people without social lives or dating lives who are usually on here.

Go look for opportunities to meet new people. a large portion of people usually meet their significant others through mutual friends of someone they know. Sitting on a website filled with old perverts and unemployed bitter people will get you nowhere

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 I didn't say I was looking on here. I said I was looking on Okcupid. I come on here to have fun and stimulate my brain.

[shaysh87]

@Jamie05rhs

Okcupid is one of the better online dating apps. I’ve had many years of online dating, there are a lot of low quality people who gravitate towards those apps. Not everyone is low quality but a lot of them are

[Jamie05rhs]

@shaysh87 I agree with you.

[notwoke]

most importantly, have a picture of a couple with a woke demographic pairing

[coachTanthony]

Thanks for being woke and showing support!

[notwoke]

the pleasure is all mine!

[cookiecrusher]

Warm fuzzy feeling for your brand new phone is great and all, but try recharging it with a micro-USB and see how long the butterflies last 😗

[AlwaysBelieving]

There has to be something there initially (chemistry). To have it last, compatibility.

[Now_Here]

Compatibility. Good for the long run.

[bulletbob555]

I feel you need both. At the end of the day compatibility lasts longer

[Anonymous]

I think compatibility is more important. It doesn't matter what amount of chemistry you have, if someone doesn't feel compatible with you they would sooner walk away.

[damaster]

Both of them are very important especially compatibility

[Jltakk]

Wouldn't know myself, I'm just going to guess compatibility.

[LoudLeo1O1]

If you want chemistry to last you must be compatible

[JesseJayNeak]

Compatibility. If we can’t get along then it’s pointless

[Ilovepancakes18]

It doesn't matter the age a 30 year old woman can be an old soul.

[TacosRAwesome]

Comparability especially on the little things.

[legalboxers]

both.. they go hand in glove.

[anton_dee]

Both are kinda interlinked.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Don’t they kinda mean the same thing?

[EmyyWolf]

No chemistry is attraction.
Compatibility is that person is comparable to you. Equal to you in personality or that you both compute.
at least that’s my understanding of it

[Gwenhwyfar]

@EmyyWolf in that case chemistry

[MountAverage]

One is useless without the other in the long run.

[Nagatoro]

They're both pretty important

[Cubus]

Depends what you mean by "compatibility"

[Luopio27]

Chemistry is comptability.

[Luopio27]

If you disagree, feel free to explain your side of view.

[Reijen]

Honest question, but what's the difference?

[ALewis30]

I think both is good for a loving relationship.

[ChubbyTeletubby]

what's the difference?

[luvstoned4him]

I feel both

[Iron_Man]

Relationship

[Anonymous]

family and friend's opinions

[Opinion Owner]

understanding and forgivness

[OddBeMe]

Apples and apples.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Same stuff.

[Asad1ONE1]

Same thing

[Kurdistan1991]

Both

[flirtatiousgirl]

Both

[jimmy2]

I think both

[Thereisnoway]

Chemistry

[Istanbulllll]

both of them

[Anonymous]

Chemistry for me