Why do lovebombers promise too much if they're never gonna marry the girl?

[Anonymous]

This has existed for too long and it's now getting worse than ever. More girls are being gfs by title and daydreaming about getting married meanwhile getting string along for pleasure. Take away the lust and there is nothing else in those relationships, NOTHING.

Even in the 1950's and before, there were users. They still existed in my grandfather's time. They would lovebomb the girl too much, promise them the moon and stars (promise them a family in the future) but he never married her and many times even left her pregnant. Why do all that if they're not going to ever propose to her? Why make someone have false hopes, dreams?

Updates

+1 y

I find that cruel to be honest. How can you enjoy making someone have false hopes, false dreams and lie about a non-existing future? If you're not going to promise as you told her... why waste her time like that?

[jestergent]

It sounds like based from post then comment replies what is happening is you are frustrated that men don't want to marry. I must say that is very true, and there are many topics on why men don't want to marry, or reword it for similar topics.

What you find out is when you say you want to wait till marriage, your options drop off a cliff. I can imagine how frustrating that is. It's important to get a quick overveiw of why men don't want to marry. And what would make them want to marry. Find those things out may help.

[Asker]

What is even more frustrating is the liars that say they also want marriage and kids, promised the girls a future and all those years that poor girl spent as his ''girlfriend'' and acting as his supportive, life partner, even cooked for him was all for NOTHING; everything thrown in the garbage and she has to then start all over. He still took years of her life, part of her good years. Or even worse; got spent years with that liar, she got pregnant and he bailed out on her... all those promises he made for nothing.
Seeing how things have been getting progressively worse than ever, I'm sticking to waiting till marriage. The only bad news is my stance does indeed reduces the dating pool by a lot. I think the waiting it's worth it though. My own father agrees that's one of the few ways a girl doesn't lose. From a biological view, a girl doesn't benefit from just years of pure pleasure and nothing else.

[Asker]

Certain things in biology just don't change. We're not meant to just have dead-end relationships and time wasted for nothing. Any man can give make us a girlfriend and give us pleasure; the dating pool is so big on that... big deal; that's not even impressing. But to commit and give us a family... very few will proceed to the real work.

[jestergent]

I agree with what your saying. I guess from my perspective I only had one serious one for consideration, and what I experienced was a race for her to find a man who will marry her without first doing up to 2 years to see how things work out. I've always had a 2 year cushion. I think apart of the problem is that we aren't taught how to properly plan out who we want to be with or make that decision. The negatives towards men, penalties for getting married are high, so also the incentive is low to make that commitment. It's not a very alluring proposal. There is so much at stake to think more on it.

As far as lying, I guess that is how men get girlfriends. Lie. I think the laws should change because so much relies on trusting the woman won't step out on you or switch a board. Stiff penalties.

[calvinP]

Because these guys know what women want to hear and they know how to convey it to get what they want. I agree that it is wrong for them to do and it has been going on for generations and happens to all genders. Only thing you can do is pay attention to what they do and less of what they say and make a determination. If it did happen to you I would just block his information and move on to the next guy

[Asker]

It almost happened. My now ex boyfriend tried to convince me to move in with him. When we met, he knew I wanted to wait till marriage. He still got upset that I wasn't changing my mind about the moving in part and tried guilt trip me for not trusting him, how he would do anything for me, etc.
It's funny how they get all upset when it doesn't favor them and there is a girl that's set clear on a specific goal and not backing up.

[Asker]

I must say my stance is reducing my dating pool (it scares them away lol) and there is less option of men for me. I suppose he must be out there waiting for me still.

[calvinP]

In that case cut him off. If you told him you don't want to move in with anyone until marriage he knows and if he is acting like that he is not mature. If you are not comfortable with it don't do it. and Honestly to me it sounds like he is really desperate to try to guilt trip you into something like that and there could be issues with him. I would say find you a new man and block his contact information

[Asker]

I already broke up with him. I'm single again and having no luck at this moment.

[calvinP]

Good for you. Try not to rush into another relationship. Make sure you date and qualify the people you are with so you can find the best partner for you

[Dragonstarterplus]

Sounds like two things

1) Men don't really care about being married, there's little benefit to be had.

2) Women being passive and just waiting for their man to make a move which as we learned from 1) above we don't really place a high priority on

[Asker]

That doesn't excuse lying and using women that want a family and purposely drain their best years. Yes the woman is passive and should've ditched him after 1-2 years of nothing but he's partially at fault too. No one told him to lie to people, to mislead others... he did that on his own.

[Asker]

At least the guys that are straight forward about never wanting marriage and only seek casual sex... they are better than the lying, lovebombers. Those honest guys aren't purposely wasting women's time.

[Dragonstarterplus]

Well to be honest I don't really understand believing someone's words over their actions

[Anonymous]

BC it’s a game of manipulation and control. You know when someone is on the same page, and if you don’t know 100% then it’s not. Words are cheap.

ever hear the saying about if you sit down to a poker game and you can’t spot the asshole at the table you’re the asshole?… all of it

[Asker]

It's pathetic that they have to lie and manipulate to get sex from a woman, playing with our good years. I give credit to the honest guys that say they aren't looking for anything serious and don't even want marriage. At least they're not wasting women's time. It's horribly playing with people.

[Kaneki05]

Well that's just how you known there immature when it comes to dating. And wanting it work out too fast.

[Asker]

yes but some of them are in their 30's and still doing it to young girls, purposely leading them on and lying about a future and family...
That doesn't sound like a case of simple immaturity but rather cruelty.

[Kaneki05]

People are dumb no matter there age really and Maturity of how to date can allude people no matter there real age. But that's another possibility for sure just to get laid or something.

[Asker]

It's still horrible using people just to get laid. Those girls get their best years drained.