What did your parents tell you about relationships when you were a child?

[melanieeeB]

Personally my whole family never really talked much about relationships and like the topic sex was a total tabu, still until now it's not much talked about and I guess that's why, the adults always told us children about this really innocent romances and that you meet one person, you fall in love, everything is good and it's forever. You only hold hands and be in love.
No hardships, no sex, no abuse, or whatever. That "didn't" exist.

I thankfully learned that it is total bullshit and you shouldn't stay and try to work things out with someone who is disrespectful towards you! The first person you met isn't your forever and you should never tolerate being treated poorly.

I honestly really despite my family for raising us that naive and stupid, and I'm thankful that I did learn the well reality behind relationships. Sure, there can be good ones, but you really have to be lucky tho

Updates

+1 y

I do find it sad, that the majority of answers is literally nothing and most people had to figure it out by themselves.

[Aerissa_Jade]

My parents, especially my mother was really good at it. She is the type to even say, if someone gets pregnant before they are married. You don't have to marry him if you don't want to.

About sex questions, very open... so much so I learned not to ask things I didn't want to know about.

She also had said relationships are not easy, they are hard work. Each of you have to give a 100%, if you both only give 50% to equal a hundred, its not going to work.

Why it is possible the first person you meet might be your forever, you should still date others and come back to them a few years down the road if it is meant to be.

Both my parents said never take any abuse, no physical, no sexual, no violence of any kind. No verbal abuse either, but it gets a little questionable with certain types of what people consider abuse these days. I know someone who says her husband doesn't give her all the money she wants, therefore it is financial abuse, whatever that is.

They raised me to stand up for myself, to be able to leave and be independent and feel like I need to stay in a bad relationship because it is scary to be alone.

I think they did a great job.

[CrazyGirl2]

Oh god yes! My mom was my greatest help when I started dating. She taught me to never just “give in” and say “okay” if I wasn’t ready, and when I finally was ready, I went to her and told her. We had a talk, and she just gave me a hug, and said that she raised me so if I know it’s right she’ll stand behind my decision! My mom is the greatest ever, I’m so lucky!

[melanieeeB]

Oh that's really awesome! You're really lucky to have such a great mom🙏🏼

[CrazyGirl2]

It really was, and I am so very lucky to have my mom. You know she KNEW that he was an “A” Hole, after she hugged me, she held my face in her palms, and said “ as your mom, I have to let you know that I don’t approve of your choice, and I really don’t like him, but… it IS your decision, and no matter what, you are my daughter and you are brilliant and beautiful, and I truly hope he proves me wrong!” He did not! He cheated on me less than a week later! When I told my mom, a said flippantly “Ok, go ahead tell me how you told me so!” My mom, teared up. She had a tub of Häagen-Dazs in one hand and two spoons in the other, she handed me a spoon, and said “I would NEVER say that to you, baby! My daughter is hurting. What kind of monster would rub your nose in it, now! I told you that I would support you no matter what… well THIS, is the no matter what! And she put her arm around me and hugged me so tight as we devoured a half pint of ice cold chocolate comfort! My mom, well she’s going through a lot right now, and although we are not supposed to say the word, she might die from this cancer, its very aggressive. If you believe, please pray for her, if not, send your positive energy or w/e her way, please! 🙏🏼

[melanieeeB]

It's great that she allowed you to make your own experiences and just be there for you!

And I really hope that your mom will get better soon and beat this🙏🏼 I know a few who did survive cancer and I'm sure your mom will be too

[CrazyGirl2]

Thank you Melanie, that. Was EXACTLY the right thing to say. You are such a truly sweet person, I’m so lucky to have a person as amazing as you in my life!

[melanieeeB]

Oh thank you, that's really sweet of you to say🙏🏼

[CrazyGirl2]

Oh, you are truly welcome. 🥰

[TallAnon]

My dad was somewhat of a player before he married my mother, so I've heard some of his exaggerated tales about "getting women". He grew up poor, fought and won in martial art tournaments, was in a gang, paid the price to leave it, etc. The relationships he had with people varried a lot. Some stabbed him in the back, some literally. Some served as mentors. For romantic relationships, he would fuck around and not take things to seriously. My mother changed that.

My mother grew up religiously, she had a few boyfriends, nothing too serious. Eventually met my father who was working as a cleaner in the same company as my mother was working. He introduced her to a lot of things her parents did not appreciate. Clubs, motorcycling, etc. But she has always been more reserved. He treated her well and showed to be dependable. In the end it worked out.

I'm not sure what you wanted to hear exactly, but that's what I grew up with. My dad who fucked around and "Don't care, got laid". While my mom was more serious and tried to keep things "Decent".

[HighlyVolatile]

My mother and father were both rather hopeless romantics, and that's probably why their relationship went down the drain and resulted in a divorce when I was 6 years old. Like you, they fed me a lot of useless aphorisms revolving around special someones and such.

Their advice was far too optimistic and sounded like fairy tales inspired by the cheesiest romantic films. I quickly learned to discard it and form my own ideas -- grounded much more in realism and maturity -- which helped me a lot more with relationships.

[jennifer_bloom]

My parents did not talk to me about relationships but they told me I would have to work hard at money and personality and fitness if I wanted guys to notice me. And since my relationship with family was so difficult, I assumed marriage would be very hard as well.

[crossdressingrihno]

Sex is how babies are made
Wear deodorant
Don't have sex
Relationships are bad
My dad's an asshole
Men lie and cheat
My mom's crazy

That's what my parents taught me about relationships and even then I think that the bottom three are specific about my previous situation

Yeah my mom was very Christian and so she didn't want me getting into relationships at all it feels like and yeah there was a lot of other crazy stuff going on it was stupid

My dad didn't tell me much I don't think I don't know if he did I probably don't remember because my dad was very strange

Overall I was taught basically nothing but I get by

[queenkilldozer]

When it came time for my mother to give me the talk she had books and reference materials. I learned about Anatomy I didn't learn about love or relationships. I was raised Christian so even discussing sex was extremely Taboo in frowned upon. I have spent most of my adult life trying to break free of my Christian conditioning.

[dustybiker]

My mum found the love of her life. And they loved in their short time together. Heartbreakingly, he was diagnosed with cancer and ended it with her so that she didn’t have to watch him go through that. It was relatively early in their relationship.
She ended up settling with someone after. But she only ever had that light in her eye when speaking of him. It was the only time she talked about relationships, but it’s what encouraged me not to settle. When you bump into someone who lights that fire, do everything to hold on tight. They are the meaning of life.

[Sixgunsound]

My parents told me nothing because they were too busy settling their own scores in court. If anything, their actions told me to go my own way and forget about it. Thankfully the woman in my life showed me that they are just childish fools and that their issue is a them problem not an all relationships problem.

[sheikalana]

They never said anything about relationships. I learned everything by myself. I remember my father once told me when I was 14/15 if I had a boyfriend at that age he would take me to a boarding school. I still used to date in secret at that age tho.

[Isismoonie]

That you should be with a Christian man that will marry you. Very low requirements and I don’t like the vague answer because it’s not an in depth answer of what to look out for

[JoyGirl]

They didn’t.
I learned from mistakes and experience.

[JoyGirl]

@ update
It is ok.
I have regrets, sadly.
I will be different with my children. I want to be the kind of parent that they can come to with any relationship problems or questions. :)

[melanieeeB]

Oh I'm sure you will be a great mom🙏🏼 Thankfully we can learn from our parents and well do it better

[JoyGirl]

Thank you. 🥺
We sure will! 💜

[melanieeeB]

Definitely 🙏🏼

[gabby100]

OH mother did, she gave the talk about the evil boys and their wicked ways of getting sex out of you.
Sadly as usual most teens , when told not to, we did. I did find some of these monsters on my travels , it was fun at the time.

[elizamichale1]

My family has always been so supportive of everything n guided in every bit
They always told us to value the relationships n openly guided us regarding taboo topics as well

[NathanDavis]

they didn't say much... but they sure lead by example

[Agape93]

Sex wasn't possible until marriage.
Women were to be quiet and submissive to their husband's.
Etc etc

[Katya98]

My parents never talked to me about it. And I'm not sure it's right.

[ChrisMaster69]

That two narcissistic people should never marry n have kids

[Pudsmucker]

I was told not to stick my pennis in a woman i would get in trouble. I could STD or early parenthood.

[grega239]

Nothing.
My dad only told me what i must do for women so i would get marriage. Turned out to be bullshit

[Anonymous]

Nothing. My mother had lovers for years, then she left when I was 13. I learnt no good things.

[Liketheview]

Not much ,, learned as i went along. still learning

[Eternallylucky]

None. But it was the horny teenage girls in high scool telling me I have to submit to a man if they need sex.

[Lyndsielee666]

Nothing they were both on drugs

[melanieeeB]

Oh I'm sorry to hear thar