My girlfriend said this and I punched on her shoulder. Who is wrong here, what do you think?

[Anonymous]

We're in serious relationship and gonna marry next year. I met her today after a month and we were very happy and romantic. Were talking about her friend who had sex with her boyfriend and ready to marry another. (Sex before marriage is not common here).

girlfriend asked "won't she remember her boyfriend' when she have sex with another guy after marriage"

I said "I donno. I've never thought about it with another woman"

She said "I've thought about it"
I really got sad and shocked. I told her "tell me one more time if you dare" andShe was like "I've thought about doing everything with other guy".. Tears came out of my eyes and I punched her shoulder really hard. She cried and later said she thought it was funny. What do you think?

[Nawlins34]

You're in the wrong here.

Before I continue, I want to say I'm not invalidating your feelings. if you're shocked and sad, that's no problem. You have every right to feel the way you do, that is NOT the problem.

The issue is, in retaliation, you punched her.

What you may have just done, is kickstarted the beginning of the end of your relationship with her.

You just proved to her that she can't tell you anything and everything in a safe comfortable setting with no judgement... making any guy that CAN produce that setting an option.

That punch only changed who she'll tell that to.

Now the good news is, this MIGHT be correctable, but you have to hold yourself accountable.

I would advise you address this with her and apologize. Tell her in your own words, " I'm sorry for taking my frustration out on you like that, you didn't deserve that specific punch.

I value the fact that you can tell me anything on your mind and I want that with you as well. But I was hurt to hear that." and let the chips fall where they may.

No one is perfect in this world.
The time will come one day when you are really stressed out about something or something is really bothering you and you're going to want to tell someone you trust without being judged... that person has to be your wife. Extend her courtesy and security of being able to do the same with you.

Just my opinion, be safe and good luck.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot man! This is really a good piece of opinion. You're right. She might have developed that "can't tell anything feeling". But, In general, Is that really tolerable behaviour from her? Like a guy other opinion said, everybody fantasizes, but isn't it disrespectful to tell your partner such things?

[Nawlins34]

I understand your concern with that point made.

It's disrespectful when she puts effort into trying it. That is where we should draw the line.

[Chaddi]

Society and culture are built on a lot of things. One of these is mutually accepted lies. She actually took the next step and told you the truth and you didn't tell her the truth. You're not telling us the truth. Just saying nobody believes you when you say you don't think about sex with other people. I don't think your behavior is assaultive considering the context but then that came from you the man who doesn't fantasize the only one in the world. I think that's what she found funny.

[Asker]

Yes you're absolutely correct ! But telling something like that to a partner will hurt them, right? Even if it's true.
For example, if you think your neighbour's boobs are hot, you cannot tell that to your partner.
I think that's a way of respecting relationship?

[Vesuvius87]

Both of you need to get out of the relationship, her for immaturity and you from physical abuse. You're lucky she hasn't file assault charges against you.

What if it happens again and she says comments you don't like? If that going to be the same action, hitting?

[Asker]

Yeah we usually slap and punch eachother for fun. But this time i got serious.

[Vesuvius87]

For fun is ok but for serious, bad intention (anger) is not. My boyfriend and I are both martial artists. I spar with him and that's fine. If he ever got seriously aggressive with me (outside sports) it would be over immediately.

[Asker]

Okay got it.

[bones_20]

I think you both sound unstable and should make plants to get married until you sort your shit out.

[bones_20]

Plans*

[bones_20]

Should not*

[Asker]

Thanks i think you're right. But we going really good and suddenly she said that hurting thing

[Anonymous]

Yeah you're wrong to punch her

[Asker]

Yeah I really regret noe

[Opinion Owner]

So do you think she wants to have sex with other guys

[Asker]

No she said she was making me angry and it was funny