My best friend and boyfriend don’t like each other and should I feel like a bad friend?

[Anonymous]

they were friends before! But over time my boyfriend just didn’t like her personality and I think he felt she was not to be trusted if it was just me and her going out since she was pretty sexually out there. One day she saw a text where me and him were kinda arguing and he called her a slut. Me and her were going to a rave at the time. She laughed it off at the time but years later she told me that actually hurt her feelings, and while she didn’t dislike my boyfriend she did feel uncomfortable around him. And I get it, I’ve told her I understand. I’ve talked to him about it and told him the situation, which she knows as well. He seemed embarrassed and told me he was being an ass but didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. He hasn’t apologized though. He hardly sees her since we’re currency doing long distance. And they’re civil around each other! But I don't know, I feel weird and as much as I love my partner, I can’t help but feel like a bad friend for being with him if he hurt my friends feelings. What should I do? I’ve known her for 10 years and been with home for 5

Updates

+1 y

I do want to add they do get along now and he’ll now call her in certain events about concert tickets, what do get for me for a gift, etc. but he just hasn’t given her that apology.

[Pyrofox]

Provide a neutral ground and tell them if they want to fight they can embarass themselves by doing it in front of you XD. LOL And who knows maybe they can just blow off some steam and leave mutual friends without it coming to blows especially if you can maybe figure out what their go too like snacks and just have a fun hangout gathering. Sometime could even do it like over video call XD. And watch them both be like *sigh* "OKAY WE GET it we should quit being brats"

[Guy13]

Let them figure it out. A man, unless it’s me, is enough to weed through. Surely, he can man-up and be gracious towards her. And buy you flowers etc SO that you have Something to share…secondary effects being “give him a chance” friend. Perhaps, you are dating a mere Boy. 25 year old boy is not “husband material”.
—Maybe friend is write 🤔.

[Anonymous]

If you made the choice to stay with him for weeks, months and years after he disrespected your friend then you mustn’t feel too bad. When the situation happened it was either a dealbreaker or not, and you decided it was not. So let it go.

[Asker]

I see what you’re saying, we were three years in at the time so it was still pretty hard back then. I don't know, I guess it’s more of a conscious thing.

[Opinion Owner]

You probably won’t like me saying this, but for him to have been cool with her then decided that not only was he not going to be cool anymore, and dislike her, calling her a slut, that seems like a guy who is butthurt over something she did that upset him. I do wonder if he had been interested and she rejected him, or if he had feelings that either weren’t reciprocated or he didn’t act on in time. At least that’s what was happening with my two girl best friends. One of their boyfriends wanted the other best friend, flirted with her and etc but she wasn’t biting, so he settled for the friend who was interested and now they’re married with a kid. But anyway, I totally get that dealing with those situations can be easier said than done, especially if you were afraid to lose him, but you should’ve demanded he apologize at the time because it was extremely rude and disrespectful when he lifestyle has nothing to do with him. This was a long time ago, so nothing to be done about it now, but still.

[Biancam13]

Your boyfriend was out of order for calling her a slut. As long as your friend is supportive, kind, trustworthy and decent to you he has no business telling you who you can be friends with.

[Biancam13]

Sorry but your boyfriend sounds rude. And maybe you didn't mean to be a bad friend, but you weren't being a good friend to her. I'm sure it's rectifiable if you want to keep both of them. Just apologise to your friend and get your boyfriend to apologise to her.

[Asker]

Yea and we did talk about it. He doesn’t tell me who to be friends with, at the time he was feeling a certain way he had no right feeling. He’s been nice to her now but yes, he still needs to apologize. I have apologized but I know it’s not enough, even if she said otherwise

[Biancam13]

Has he said why he hasn't apologised? And that's good, she's your friend not his lol