Why do I run away when I like someone?

[Anonymous]

It’s a pattern with every guy I’ve ever dated.

The moment I start catching feelings, I ghost.

It’s like I wait for them to reach out again to feel a sense of security.

Otherwise I feel very insecure and scared that the outcome of the relationship is going to hurt me.

It’s like I need them to chase me to feel secure and confirm that they want me.

Anyone else have this pattern?

[ohshee]

I think we have all done this before
And I think that it will become a moment in time in your life when you accept that you can be hurt but it's because that you're not being honest with yourself in the very beginning of the relationship I don't know about you but in every beginning of a relationship when I feel the feelings that I feel towards somebody I'm ecstatic there's a moment where I'm honest and I say to myself will it really work and if I listen to myself the answer is no I hate that but I accept it and I tried anyway if we listen to ourselves we know the answers before things happen when we break up with somebody if we are honest with ourselves we are more pissed off at ourselves for knowing what was going to happen and allowing it to even occur take place when we already knew the answer 1 month 2 months 3 months before a breakup we know that it's going to happen but we don't want it to happen so we lie to ourselves and we keep trying we know when are significant other is having an affair but we do not want to hear it we do not want to think about it so we lie to ourselves that way we can use any excuse to be hurt to feel the way that we want to feel they can't make you feel that way only you can make you feel that way because you are the only person inside your body within every relationship that I've ever been in except for the first one I say to myself
I cannot control her I do not want to control her if she decides to go out on me and cheat I cannot control that I have to accept it if that's what happens heartbreaks because you don't want to be that failure are you don't want that to ever happen but you have to accept it because that's what get you over it

So let's play pretend for a minute

You and I start dating I have this feeling about you I like you I actually feel like I'm in love with you and I want to try it I want to see if it will work there will be a moment where I ever look so deep into your eyes I will be inside your body and I will say to myself I really like her if she decides to go out on me or cheat on me or decides that it's not going to work I'm going to be heartbroken but I will do my part to make sure that doesn't happen because of me but if it does happen you have to accept it and you have to be able to move on it sounds really cold hearted but it's not it's reality our brains are so powerful it will manipulate us into an anything and everything we want whether it's good or bad for us we can do that through this journey of life we want to be with somebody to share it with we want to experience things together because it's just a beautiful thing and then sometimes when you can't grow together and you're going to break up one grows the other person stops growing and that's what makes break up happen as long as you know this I can accept it can you find somebody you compatible with experience that moment experience that Journey with them and if you cannot make it work if you cannot go together then you have to break up and you have to be able to accept that say it was fun I still love you I will always love you but it's time to go it's time for us to go our separate ways could I watch always be your friend I know you're angry but maybe you could get past it every girl that I've ever broken up with her she's broken up with me I will do whatever it takes to stay friends and sometimes that Bond becomes even stronger when you are friends cuz I know it's nothing bad not unless you were cheated on but you start out as friends you ended as friends no matter what

[lightbulb27]

I was kinda like that. Some of it is normal feelings and some dysfunctional.

All the answers are in your childhood sub conscious mind and personality makeup. It boils down to trust, security, confidence, shame, fear... of the future. It's self deprocating... which tells me it is rooted in lower self esteem, lack of nurturing, sensitivity. Where's the love and confidence... that's the question...

something like that. Dig through your psyche, dig up the crap that is false and heal it. Establish what you want in life and pursue that. If you have abuse patterns in your childhood... like you saw abuse, then maybe that is your attraction (sub conscious) but then you become afraid of it.

I'm not a psychologist, just what I've had to work through. I avoided females and ran away for 40 years. Nothing changes until you decide to change it.

[Liz95]

Seems you’ve been hurt badly before…try to seek for some help otherwise you’re gonna end up hurting yourself and others in the process

[Anonymous]

I don't know but sounds like you've hurt a lot of people in the process

[UniquelyBasic]

Get professional help because I can't help you. Im on GaG with a Deadpool profile pic.

[Anonymous]

Because having a relationship is really hard and our urges trying to stop it 😅
by the way i like your comments you're fun and i can't PM you, can you follow me?

[Opinion Owner]

So i've failed 😱

[William42]

Fear of intimacy and being hurt can really make life hard. Probably a few sessions with a licensed mental health specialist would help. My best to move on by this issue and to make your life a whole lot better.

[Jamie05rhs]

Wow. That's really dysfunctional.

I would recommend trying communication instead. Tell him your feelings.
Running is immature.

[Anonymous]

Because you're damaged or have intimacy/commitment issues.

[Abdulwahh]

Its out if insecurity

[Anonymous]

Fear.