Girlfriend and I broke up but I suggested getting back together, now I regret it?

[Surfbum]

My girlfriend and I of a year recently broke up due to us constantly arguing about things within our relationship. Like her having a lot of guy friends and her spending a lot of time online hanging out with guys on streaming platforms. This was my first relationship and I am a very very jealous person and would ask her not to talk to other guys but she could never do it. So we ended up splitting up. I treated her amazing and was always there for her but I did overthink things a lot. The main reason we ended things was because she admitted to hiding a guy on her phone after I found out, she would also not tell me other things because she feared id get upset because of my jealousy, like guys hitting on her and things of that nature. So my trust was shattered. Its been a couple weeks and we've had some contact and I suggested that we try to have a super casual and exclusive thing for the summer. She said shed think about it and called me to talk. I later that night found out that when she called me she was on her way to smoke and hang out with a guy she told me she found "attractive, but she wouldn't ever do anything with". They stream together and know each other from the streaming platform she uses. I feel really disrespected because she spent the night and smoked weed at this guys place. Everything in my mind point to her hooking up but she maintains that she isn't sleeping around with other guys. what should I even do? because I love the girl but at every turn I just get stuff thrown back in my face. Id say jealousy is my main downside too, I like to think I'm and attractive guy but right now I'm not even sure. Do I just use this as fuel in the gym and move on? Or do I trust her enough to possibly try things at a very casual level?

[lightbulb27]

I like the idea of fuel in the gym, and introspection, reflection of whats good and bad and to move on.
you are both young, she's taking drugs.

These are real life and common issues... the key to relationship is keeping the emotional relationship healthy, and hopefully everything else can be healthy as well. She did not honor your "wound"... something related to security.

You are both young and don't know what you don't know, so forgiveness for both is in order. I don't think she was out to hurt you intentionally, she just isn't ready or able to.

You own your side of it and you decide what you would like to change about yourself.

Also examine why you were drawn to a person that literally... appears to be a poison pill for you... opposite energies attract possibly? God/love works amazingly... out of the sub conscious mind we find sometimes what is very challenging for us for it aligns with our inner child. But that pain and difficulty is how we grow... should we choose that path.

You regret it because she's filling the void and nothing... nothing has changed, for no work has been done. Welcome to real relationships fella, you're doing fine, you'll survive... hang in there.

noone can tell you what to do, you have to evaluate and decide... but she may have done that for you. you going to go fight for her... while she's smocking crack (whatever) at some dudes house?

My rule... I don't do drugs and don't trust women who do either. It's a good rule.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Can I be brutally honest with you?

The relationship with her is just so wrong, not just for you but for her too. You're biting your nails wondering what she's up to and who with, and she's having to lie to you to keep you from getting hurt and angry. It's no way to live for either of you.

I'm sure you are both very nice people, but she's popular you're jealous of her... It is SUCH a volatile mix of characters , like Nitro and Glycerine. harmless apart.. but together?

My advice to you is to thank her for the good times you've shared, wish her well and then let her get on with her life. It will sting at first, but after you get over her you'll realise that not all relationships are equal and that one just wasn't right for you.

[Anonymous]

You're seriously way too jealous. You shouldn't be trying to force any women to not have any male friends. Was that girl cheating on you? I don't know. But I don't think you're in a place mentally where even a casual relationship with her would work out. Perhaps because of your natural inclination towards jealousy, someone like her would never work for you. Find a girl who you feel more trusting towards, but also stop trying to control who your women can and can't hangout with, it's a very toxic thing to do.

[ChrisWaters]

She went to smoke with some guy and then stayed overnight?
I don't think she's very respectful and hasn't earned any kind of trust from you. Actions are the truth, words are just words.
I think you may want to be very careful with this person.

[Iron_Man]

Guy friends never work out online or in person