Why do I need to be loved by a man so much? it’s costing me friendships?

I’m only 20. I’ve started to become self aware that I really rely on men and like attention from them. I’m not insecure about my looks at all so I don’t think that would be a reason as I’m very happy with them.

Im not sure if it’s because I didn’t really have a dad who was present until I reached 18. But I constantly need validation from men. When I’m dating someone’s it’s different, I’m loyal and ignore all the intention from other men and concentrate on the one I’m dating. But it’s also not good as when I’m dating I rely on the guy so much, I’m needy and just do anything for them and rely on them for my mood.

I’ve lost friendships because of this putting the guy I’m dating first because I’m scared to be alone. Friendship failures don’t affect me much but when it comes to a dating failure I get heartbroken I can never handle not having a man in my life. I’ve had sex with a lot of men in order to just keep them around and keep them happy. I’m so submissive and let them treat me how I want because I have a fear they will leave and I’m terrified of being alone.

I've settled for being treated badly before just because I can’t be alone and have a fear they will be put off if I put my foot down since in my head the type of men I date like me for being so submissive. I don’t know what to really do
Why do I need to be loved by a man so much? it’s costing me friendships?
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