Why did Babby Daddy leave you a single Mother?

[Apope16]

Why are you a single mother? Two people have sex. Unless someone is raped. A woman consents to have a man put his seed inside her. A man chooses to do this. There are many reasons and personal dynamics for why this happens. Sometimes people have sex because its a casually relationship. Sometimes people have sex because they are in a romantic relationship. THat doesn't mean they are ready to have children yet or even want to. Sometimes people are in a romantic relationship and are in love and do want a child together. What is your story for why you are a single mother?

The Baby Daddy and I discussed the desire to have a child and actively planned it together. Over time we mutually grew apart.

The Baby Daddy and I were just having fun casual sex and I surprised him with the pregnancy. Despite several means to stop or prevent the pregnancy, I chose to have the child against his wishes

I was truly in a physically dangerous abusive situation and I am not making it up like Amber Heard.

I am a guy looking to see the results or comment below

I am a single mother but the Baby Daddy passed away

[Anonymous]

Voted D, but my situation was the reverse of what most probably expect.

In fact, I met a gal at a business/social event, we hit it off and I went back to her place. We ended up having sex, I spent the night and we had some sex the next morning and that was it. Typical one night stand.

The sex was unprotected, but honestly neither of us gave it much thought. It was pure sex, very animal. We didn't really know each other and as I say, we were both "in the mood" and things just "clicked. We wanted each other's naked bodies for pure animal pleasure and that was it.

We never spoke again or talked about it. I never heard from her. It was, as I say, the quintessential one night stand.

Flash forward about 12 years. I am a father of three with my girlfriend of 14 years and very happy. I get an e-mail saying, in effect, "You probably don't remember me but we met and had a one night stand. I wanted to let you know that you got me pregnant that night and you have a 12 year old son..."

Without going into the details, we met, we got a test done and sure enough I have a son that I did not know I had. In answer to the question, the funny part is not that I left the mother of my child. Rather, she left me.

She decided, when she found out she was pregnant, that she wanted to raise our son on our own. She was not even sure how to find me - it took her some considerable "detective work" to find me when she decided, after 12 years, that as our son was becoming a teenager, he should know his father.

Happily, two years on, I have a great - if to be fair, sometimes awkward - relationship with my son. He gets along with my girlfriend and his half siblings well and we have him over for weekends, some holidays and for a bit during the summer. I could not be happier.

With one exception. Although I think his mom is a nice person and she did an amazing job raising our son on her own, it hurts that I missed so much of his life. I would have happily been a part of it and helped to support him - and his mom. In that, I must confess, I feel a certain resentment toward my son's mom. (Even though, frankly, I still don't know her all that well.)

Bottom line, I have no regrets. I guess the main point is that in my case, as I say, I was left rather than being the leaver. My son's mother chose to be a single mom.

It's a bit of a twist on the question, but life can be like that. Perhaps the question should have reflected that a bit more.

[Apope16]

Damn. a powerful story. I am glad it worked out well. But What she did is wrong on so many level. Especially to that kid. But a lot of ladies use guys like this. Wow. Insane. That kid has some trauma not knowing his dad all those years and having the complications of how it went down and why. respectfully.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, I won't lie. I am not happy that I missed so much of my son's life - and it hurts, bluntly.

Yet, to be fair, she didn't know me and I will say, whatever my misgivings, she has done an excellent job raising him. He is a good student who likes school. Seems to have lots of friends. He is polite.

That said, you make a good point. I have been thinking about how much of his life I missed. I have to imagine that it was very hard for him to meet the father he never knew. All I can say is that I am making up for lost time as best I can and that I love him with all my heart. Just as much as I love my girlfriend and our children.

Thanks, though. You make a good point and it is something I will keep in mind. Although, for his sake, I don't intend to damage my relationship to his mother - such as it is - as that would only make things harder on my son.

So whatever my resentments, I will just have to swallow them.

[Lliam]

Girls who call their partner "Baby Daddy" are bound to wind up living in trailer parks as single mothers.

But seriously, comments by some of the girls here are heartbreaking. People who judge single mothers without knowing the circumstances suck.

The most amazing girlfriend I was ever with had a son. She had been sexually abused by her stepfather for over 10 years, beginning at a very, very young age. She got married and had a son when she was 16 or 17, probably to get away from her step father.

The marriage only lasted a couple years, though. I don't know all the circumstances. But the father wound up with the son. The girl had become an alcoholic and was in therapy over her childhood trauma.

When I met her, she was 30, had beat alcoholism and become amazing. Her 13 year old son came in from out of state to visit every once in a while.

I loved that woman with my heart and soul and she loved me. Next to my wife, she was one of the most admirable and sexy woman I've ever known.

So here's to some single mothers, although there are some idiots, too.

[Anonymous]

The condom broke so I took a morning after pill, but it didn’t work and I ended up pregnant. We had not planned to have kids yet, but were still happy when we found out and decided together to keep it. We were already engaged and lived together and planned to have kids in the future, so it just happened a few years earlier than expected. Everything was fine. Fast forward about 1,5 years he tells me he met someone else and was leaving me. He moved out and straight away moved in with his new girlfriend and has been a deadbeat dad since.

[Apope16]

its a beautiful story. im sorry it didn't work out. it sounds like there was a lot left out. i find it hard to believe that he just woke up one day and decided to leave his fiance and children for some random chic.

[Opinion Owner]

Well I don’t really care what you think. There is nothing left out other than the fact he had been seeing her behind my back for several months before leaving. That’s all there is to the story. I can also tell you it’s not a beautiful story, it’s been fucking hell. There is nothing beautiful about any of this.

[Whatever2929292]

To even consider abortion your own child is kind of sick to be honest. You both made the child even if all protection failed... It is still a human being. Unless you mean adoption or something that is different

[zeitgeist057]

@Whatever2929292 not sick at all. It's a healthy and reasonable thing to consider an abortion. It's overly sentimental, and possibly religious to think of abortion as sick. There are plenty of humans on the planet, we're just another animal like the fish and beasts we put on our plates, there's no shame or sadness in preventing another birth from happening. I get that some religious groups have a religious concern attached to it, but that's not the concern or belief of people who aren't followers of that particular mythos. As a great meme puts it "Your religion doesn't allow YOU to do that? Okay. Your religion doesn't allow ME to do that? Fuck you."

[Whatever2929292]

@zeitgeist057 then you just don't have a moral compass I don't know what to tell you

[zeitgeist057]

@Whatever2929292 you confuse YOUR moral compass with the infinite plethora of possibilities. I’m not surprised in the least, it’s a typical blinders-on micro-perspective of the judgmental.

[Whatever2929292]

@zeitgeist057 you could at least say something that makes sense.

[Starlight007]

You know thank you for asking this questions! us humans can be quick to judge people which is just straight up so wrong, This makes me see why Christians are taught to refrain from being judgmental towards others!. I'm not posting this to claim that I am perfect no I'm not I have judged people but I'm going to try harder to stop doing that, it's really not right!. We go through a lot, as husbands, as daughters, sons, wives, single parents etc. So lets cut each other some slack as a society please!.

[Starlight007]

question*

[Anonymous]

We were in a relationship and we both wanted kids. He was the one suggesting we go unprotected and he ejaculated in me on purpose. When I got pregnant he was shocked (uhm ok…) and suddenly changed his mind and no longer wanted a baby so he wanted me to terminate. I did not, and had already told him before, even in the beggining of our relationship, that if I were to get pregnant I would not have an abortion. So he was very well aware of this and again he said he wanted kids and he was even the one suggesting to toss the birth control. He still got extremely upset that I wouldn’t terminate and started calling me horrible stuff, yelling how he wasn’t ready to be a dad yet, made sick threats of what he’d do if I didn’t do as he wished and so on. He became like a different person. I then found out he was cheating on me and so I told him to go to hell and we broke up.

[Apope16]

Why would you not have an abortion if you got pregnant before marriage? You allowed him to sleep with you without a condom. So the fact that he is choosing to do that is not his fault alone but yours as well right? So why would you choose this guy to be the father of your child and not terminate the pregnancy for a better guy?

[Opinion Owner]

Because I could never have an abortion. I’m against it and wouldn’t be able to live with that. I’d rather die than live with the fact I killed my own child and I felt love for this kid the moment I knew about being pregnant. ”So the fact that he’s choosing to do that is not his fault”. It’s not his fault? It’s santa clauses fault? Feminisms fault? My fault? Guy decided to ask his woman to have kids, woman agrees, man and woman try for kid, woman gets pregnant, guy gets upset and changes his mind, guy is somehow a victim of something? It doesn’t work like that. I don’t know what you’re trying to say. It’s my fault he says he wants to have kids and it’s my fault he asks me to go unprotected so we can have a family and it’s my fault for making him a dad when it was a joint decision that he even initiated to try for kids? You can’t be for real. You seem to also believe that I’m upset he got me pregnant or blame him for it, I don’t. I wanted kids and we decided to try for them - me as well. I’m very happy I have my child and I take full responsibility for it - he does not. What I’m not happy about is being treated the way I was treated. It’s not on me that he’s a stupid dumbass who says he wants kids and purposely gets me pregnant if he didn’t want kids. That’s his fault. You seem to be one of those men who argue that it’s never the man’s fault. They’re never responsible for anything. People like you are exactly the issue in todays society. The audacity is astonishing. It is your opinion that it’s my fault for making this ”poor guy” a dad. The fact he said he wanted

[Opinion Owner]

this and on purpose tried for it doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have ”allowed” it (I’m not interested in marriage by the way so we wouldn’t ever have been getting married anyway, marriage is not a huge thing where I live and most couples just never get married even though spending their lives together) and when this poor guy was confronted with the consequences of his actions and changed his mind I should have just gone and killed our baby and lived the rest of my life in heartbreak and depression so this poor poor man didn’t have to be a dad. Yeah no. The lack of accountability is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Most men who do this were only wanting sex. Really... Speaking honestly more often then not she chose him. She was having sex with him knowing that he isn't really good and many times she isn't a saint herself.

I am not judging her we have all done dumb shit that we regret and had consequences from.

Though what is sad is sometimes it is rape that caused it but more often then not she was making her choices to sleep with men who were only interested in sex and she was likely the same way.

This is the same reason why women have abortions is because they don't want to be responsible for raising a child that she created and men run away because they don't want the responsibility

More often then not as you said it was a choice by both people to have the sex and many times did not use any protection and were not in a any kind of serious relationship

[Anonymous]

Babby Daddy is really women who were unwed so I would never cally ex-husband a baby daddy. Long marriage woth a lot of communication issues as well as mental, emotional and physical abuse. We were already opposites but were compatible in foundational areas. After being patient upon kicks to the stomach, metal cup being smashed off my ankle and waking up to getting beat in the head, the glares full of contempt and the complete dismissal of my feelings I threw in the towel.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

My mother was a single mother.
My father cheated on her.
Then he cheated on the woman he cheated on my mother with after he had a daughter with her.
This was not told me by my mother, it was told by my father.

And trust me this is just the tip of the iceberg on how much if a piece of shit he is. All said and proven by himself. No matter how many opportunities I gave him, he always fucked up.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

My father was selfish and a prick, simply put.
My mother was in no way without blame, but he could have done something more than running away with another woman.

[Anonymous]

They always go back to abuse. Bitch you were probably someone he cheated on another girl with too. God damn is a huge penis really that important🍆?

Sometimes I think single moms wanted to be abused so they could have an excuse to raise a son-husband.

[Whatever2929292]

I don't think this is really true and just because some women are like this (the same as some men are) does not mean you know everyone's situation

[Opinion Owner]

@Whatever2929292 I think the world is much simpler than you think.

[Whatever2929292]

Maybe you just are?

[Opinion Owner]

@Whatever2929292 90% of people fall into 3 or 4 personality types

[FunkyMonkee]

Who is, Babby Daddy? Is that some new stupid-ass rapper?

[GatewayRealm]

I didn’t Know I was a mother
Thanks for telling me I’ll have to take some Kid from there parents and accuse the parents of kidnapping my kid.

[Anonymous]

Generally it's A or B. In rare occasions it's C. If she's really dumb.

[Lyndsielee666]

Dude broke my hand so I left. 🤷‍♀️

[zeitgeist057]

good for you, it saddens me to see how many women stay even with shit like this.

[bamesjond0069]

You mean amber turd?