How do I put some pressure on my boyfriend to tell me his feelings on committing and marriage?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I moved in together a couple months ago. We thought long and hard about this decision. I do feel like everything is going well, and my boyfriend is pretty forward in sharing where our relationship might be lacking.

We have talked a couple of times about marriage, and the conversation ends up going the same way every time. That he is happy. He even said, that we would be engaged in 6 months or not together. He said that about 3 months ago.

I am stressed about this not working out, and having to move out. He owns the house. Rent is expensive these days, so I do worry about struggling financially.

How do you ask him about our future? That’s going to promote conversation, and not scare him. I just don’t think we get anywhere with any of our conversations and I need some more clarity!

[Adam1978]

Do not pressure him if he has the upper hand. Your interest should to leave him in peace and you can most likely stay around. If you are afraid of affording rent, don't challenge the man that is paying it.

[Asker]

I understand your point. But I don’t want to waste my time in a relationship, if he doesn’t have intentions on committing to me.

[Adam1978]

You are there aren't you, don't be fooled by marriage it's not a commitment. Commitment can be done without marriage. And marriage doesn't give you any commitment guarantees. You are expecting something you clearly don't give yourself. Otherwise you would already committed to him and not asked this question.

[FilmGuy93]

This may be one of those times where you just speak your mind. You could mention about ideas you have for the wedding. Maybe even express your concerns directly and tell him that he said he would propose to you soon.

[LazerBean]

If you have to put pressure on him, then he isn't interested in them. A man who is dating to marry will make it known early on.

[Sallygordon]

Don’t pressure it trust me. Keep the feelings natural. When the time come, it come.

[Gangactivities911]

How long have u been dating for ur 18-24 that’s a little young for marriage or at least to be worried about not having it

[Asker]

24/25 and we have been together for 3 years

[Gangactivities911]

That’s really not that long In all honesty especially at ur age. I wouldn’t want marriage at that point either. Ur asking for a whole life commitment and half his stuff if u leave and you’ve only known him for 3 years and at ur age. If it were me I probably wouldn’t want marriage for at least another 3 years probs more. U women take marriage as a joke and with the current divorce laws what does he get out of marriage? Like nothing. And why do u want marriage? Ur 100% sure u want this guy for life? If not then don’t speak about marriage. No way ur 100% sure u want this guy for life. If I was him I would see it as a massive red flag that u keep asking about marriage. I don’t think ur ready for marriage in all honesty.

[Gangactivities911]

Unless u r 99-100% that u want this person forever don’t even speak about marriage cuz u don’t want it. Ur asking for the commitment of a lifetime but u don’t look at it as a serious thing like that like guys do. So cut the shit tbh.

[Asker]

I don’t keep asking about marriage. We haven’t talked about it in months. We starting talking about it, because we moved in together.

Talking about marriage in your mid-twenties is not unreasonable. I’m not in a rush to get engaged, but I am looking for clarity on where the relationship is heading. As if said himself, that we would he engaged soon or not together.

[Asker]

Let’s not be an asshole. I do want to marry him, and If I didn’t I wouldn’t be with him. I know my worth, and deserve to feel confident and secure in my relationship whether we get married or not. Please don’t make assumptions.

[Gangactivities911]

Well he told u he wants marriage so what is there to clarify? I don’t see why he’d be with u for this long if he didn’t see a future with u.

[Wise4myage]

Tie him naked to the bed posts, lol.