I am having the best sex of my life with a guy who might not be in poly a relationship after all. Should I bust him and tell his new girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

He and I started having a sexual relationship while he was in a polyamorous relationship with his then girlfriend (according to him she was ok with us having sex) but now he's broken up with that girl and is with a new girl.

So he hit me up today to ask when we can hook up again. I asked if his new girlfriend is ok with it and his response was something along the lines of "that is just between you and me babe". When I pressed further as to whether he would tell her we were messing around, he said that if I insist on it then he will tell her about it.

I don't know what to think because he alluded to, in the past, that he dates girls who are ok with his poly lifestyle. But now I am starting to wonder if this current girlfriend of his is ok with it after all. I don't know what to do.

I mean, should I break it off with him for seemingly wanting to go behind his girlfriend's back and get with me? He is such a nice guy, or maybe he's just manipulative, but omg he is so good in bed.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Break it off.

He's not poly if he's cheating and hiding it from a partner who is monogamous. He's a cheating scumbag.

Polyamory works when there's trust, communication, and clarity.

What he's doing is hiding his cheating from a monogamous partner, and hiding his shame behind polyamory while being disrespectful and disrespecting the consent that is vital in these sorts of relationships.

You're becoming his dirty little secret and he's simply feeding you lies about his "sexuality" (a straight guy pretending to be poly to cheat IS NOT expressing a "sexuality", he is hiding his deceit behind a label in an attempt to get away with it).

Dump his ass and tell his new girlfriend, and get tested if you haven't already. I guarantee you he's slept with more girls than he remembers and has no idea if he has STIs or not.

[TheMajesticKing777]

You seem like a person with morals and sympathy for other people, that's good, I believe you should break it off and the girl should know, because if you were in her position, would you want to know or would you want people to just spare your feelings? If the girl is fine with it then that's something completely different but you should tell the girl, who knows maybe she will break up with him and y'all can keep the friends with benefits crap going

[dynamicyandere]

Non-monogamy needs to be done ethically. If this new girlfriend really doesn’t know, this could be traumatic down the road for her. She deserves to know. Keeping this arrangement a secret will be very unfair to the new girlfriend. Life is short. Making sure she knows is the right thing to do.

[Gent207]

Sounds like a manipulator
If I were you I would crash his party by sending screenshots to his current girlfriend. What are the odds he's not cheating on you too with a 3rd person or more? All it takes is one with an STD and all three of you are screwed.
Yes I know the odds of transmission are significantly reduced with condoms. But what makes you think he would tell you even if he was packing VD? He can't be trusted being open about his lifestyle.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Another person using poly as a reason to hook up. That's why I say Poly relationships are BS.

[LazerBean]

I'd tell his girlfriend and cut him off.

[MrHopper]

Ugh this happens a lot. Men are so lame

[Rebecca_wolf]

Tell him ans confront him

[Anonymous]

Congratulations. You got a manwhore right there.