Is it your fault for choosing to be with a terrible partner? (Page 2)
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Well kinds but with many people they always try to hide their bad traits. More so when you first meet the person. There's way too many factors though I'd say that don't make it easy to always identify traits that could turn toxic. It's not always the trait itself but the person's thought process behind it. But then again there's that saying that applies to a lot of people I've know, a fool seeing/doing the same thing expecting different results...
I think before starting a serious relationship, everyone should start learning the knowledge and abilities needed.
It can be done via reading related books, internet…
First, you need to know yourself well and love yourself then you can distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate partners and can love him correctly
people most common mistake is because they fall easily on first impression
u actually need times until you finally see through the true color of a person
it may even take years for that
Thank you Fred finally someone gets it...
It's my fault if I stay or if I got so dependent that I can't leave. It's not my fault they are toxic. And hopefully the person learn a lesson. No one should accept bad behavior, that said we shouldn't overreact either. It's needs to be a dialog which should end with you leaving if they don't correct unacceptable behavior.
I don’t think it’s wording it as “it’s your fault” is the best way to put it because some people can be deceptive to get what they want. BUT you do need for take accountability for it, because at the end of they day you did choose that person and it is your job to figure out if they are a good person or not it’s nobody else’s job but yours. So when something bad happens you can’t blame anyone else.
Completely my fault. Infact with enough time and distance, you're able to see how silly you were, then you learn to forgive.
It's like when my cat brought 2 live rats into my bedroom at 2am in the morning.. yes I was traumatised, but she's a dumb cat and that was her way of showing love.
Dumb cat
Sure it is, can't be anyone else's fault... although many people are really good at hiding things, until they reel you in and then your like, who the hell are you. You aren't who I was dating... what did you do with him?
Did it twice. Horrible choices.
Suffered for it greatly.
At least now I love myself enough to not tolerate bad behavior and make excuses for them.
Tolerating ANY mean behavior is MY fault. That they do it at all is their fault. Tolerating it encourages them to continue.
by the way I am happy you're in a better place now, sorry for the horrible experience.
Thank you.
But I had to learn somehow.
Sometimes pain is a good teacher
Yes and no. What matters more is if you continue to stay with them knowing they were a terrible partner.
I know how hard it can be to leave, regardless.
Kinda. We attract to what’s familiar. It’s a choice then we also need to recognize this person is not what I want then let them go. who said love is logical?
I mean You could always blame your Choices on the devil.
But I mean if you wanna take Responsibility then Yeah it is yourFault
Every choice You make is of your own free Will therefor Everything is Your Fault.
While I blame myself, many times they bottle it up so well that it won't come out until certain things hit the fan. It got to a point where this partner was actually living with me and then toxic things got puked out.
Depends. If you married them fast, yes. If you got into the relationship and are staying in it because they're attractive, yes. If you didn't report abuse, yes. If you think they're going to change, yes. If you think love can fix them, YES.
Yes and No. You are responsible for you actions, not the actions of others. Manipulation is psychological abuse, so while it may be your fault for being nieve, you are not responsible for being abused.
Yes, but I don't like the word "fault." It's your responsibility and you need to take ownership of the reason you're ending up with bad partners, but it's most likely not true that the reason you behave that way is a conscious choice.
It's all part of the dating process to get to know that person before considering getting more serious (relationship, marriage, etc). So choosing prematurely to go more seriously with someone that isn't right for you is your fault. Staying in the relationship when they aren't right for you is even worse. Break-up and move on to someone hopefully is a better fit for you.
It’s a choice, but often people in abusive relationships came from a traumatic home life.
My husband is awesome, but we are absolutely responsible, as adults, for who we choose to be close to us.
People in love tend to have blinders on and in a lot of situations disregard friends and families warnings about their love interest. So I would say yes as in ignoring the warning signs or thinking they can change someone.
Absolutely. Right or wrong, good or bad the decisions and choices we make are our own and we have to own that and wear it.