We’ve been going out for a year and things were great initially, we have a ton in common, she is kind and caring and puts others before herself. But that is also one of her biggest flaws, she does not takes care of herself. She lives at home and has to basically care for her family 24/7 because they either can’t or won’t do it themselves. I know that is incredibly stressful and is not a good situation, but she is getting progressively worse.
She never sleeps because she is up all night sick, taking care of family or a million other things. She texts me every single morning complaining that she didn’t sleep. The lack of sleep is making her exhausted and she is in bed by 7pm every night and doesn’t have energy to eat healthy or exercise. She has a few medical issues that have gotten significantly worse recently because of this, and she has had to go to the hospital multiple times in the last few months and her doctor told her she is pre diabetic.
We don’t drink often at all, but whenever she does drink she gets so drunk that I have to take care of her. She also doesn’t know how to manage food either, she will either not eat all day and get sick or eat way too much all at once and get sick. She is also prone to panic attacks.
All of this has lead to me feeling like a caretaker and not a partner. I know she isn’t doing any of this on purpose, and I want to be there to help her, but every time I try to promote healthy lifestyles she will give up almost immediately.
I have noticed I have become far less empathetic and I get frustrated every time she texts me saying she has a problem. It is nearly constant, and I wish I was exaggerating. I can’t remember the last time she texted me saying something good happened. She has started apologizing for complaining all the time, and I want to be supportive. I just don’t know what to say that won’t make her spiral and get even worse.
She never sleeps because she is up all night sick, taking care of family or a million other things. She texts me every single morning complaining that she didn’t sleep. The lack of sleep is making her exhausted and she is in bed by 7pm every night and doesn’t have energy to eat healthy or exercise. She has a few medical issues that have gotten significantly worse recently because of this, and she has had to go to the hospital multiple times in the last few months and her doctor told her she is pre diabetic.
We don’t drink often at all, but whenever she does drink she gets so drunk that I have to take care of her. She also doesn’t know how to manage food either, she will either not eat all day and get sick or eat way too much all at once and get sick. She is also prone to panic attacks.
All of this has lead to me feeling like a caretaker and not a partner. I know she isn’t doing any of this on purpose, and I want to be there to help her, but every time I try to promote healthy lifestyles she will give up almost immediately.
I have noticed I have become far less empathetic and I get frustrated every time she texts me saying she has a problem. It is nearly constant, and I wish I was exaggerating. I can’t remember the last time she texted me saying something good happened. She has started apologizing for complaining all the time, and I want to be supportive. I just don’t know what to say that won’t make her spiral and get even worse.
