My boyfriend won’t commit after 1.5yrs together... what do I do?

[Anonymous]

Long story short- so I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years now, we are late 20’s and live at home.
He’s from a more traditional European family that doesn’t like sex before marriage or even living together unmarried, my family don’t care at all.
The issue is that we both want a future but he won’t commit fully to it... he says he does but doesn’t know how to leave his parents and they make him feel guilty.
They are older and he worries about who will look after them etc, but how are we supposed to have a life of our own?
We’ve spoken about what we both want and expect and he talks but I don’t see any action, he knows I’d like marriage and kids one day and we want to move in together soon but I’ve said to him I don’t think it will happen when he won’t fully commit to me... what do I do?

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Yikes, he's nearing 30 and he is afraid to strike out on his own away from his parents?

Leave this manchild. Find someone who's an actual adult.

[Asker]

I know... he’s so scared of them and letting them down but he doesn’t care about hurting me. It’s not normal to be so attached, I love him and we are a great team but his parents have him exactly where they want/need him

[Smoke-n-Growls]

He's not ready for an adult relationship. He's a failure to launch.

If you marry him, and move in with him, he will be like a little child. He will not be able to provide for you anything - no emotional support, no mental support, no financial support.

He will be like a child, and that's kinda normal. We all have a lot of lessons to learn the first time we move away from home.

Save yourself years of heartache and wasted time.

Leave him.

[Asker]

He supports me emotionally and mentally now when I need him, and financially he has a great job and we’ve talked about the aspects of living together- money etc... but yes he’s a failure to launch that’s exactly it!
It’s so hard to let go when I can see a great future if he’d just give me some kind of solid commitment that he would take the next step

[Smoke-n-Growls]

He wouldn't be that person once he leaves home, I guarantee you.

He's able to do some of that because he has mommy to go home to.

When he's forced to be independent, he will revert to being a helpless and ineffective manchild.

Trust me. I've seen it multiple times.

Don't worry. You'll find someone just as caring and well-off, but even better. There's a lot of really great fully launched men out there.

[LazerBean]

You can be married and still take care of your parents, so that's a bs excuse. He just doesn't want to commit, period. Dump his baby-man ass

[Anonymous]

Wait for him to change his mind (assuming he does). Or find someone with a less strict doctrine.
How long are you prepared to wait?

[20yearsolder]

It seems to me you have two options, stay with him until he's ready to commit or move on and start a new relationship

[Asker]

Yep that’s right, maybe when he’s 50... hah

[20yearsolder]

Or maybe never

[boggboss]

All u can do is stay and wait or end it realisticly

[jshm2]

To be fair, you're both still too young and stupid to marry, let alone move.

But maybe bring up the subject with his mother and your mother about how they got married and their lives. If they see value in you, they will take the hint.