Is it time to move on?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 5 years. He's a great guy and honestly he is definitely husband material and any girl would be lucky to be with him. And I love him.

but I don't think I'm *in love* with him anymore.

he was everything the 20-year-old me wanted as a first serious relationship and I'll forever be grateful. He's kind, gentle, never raises his voice, used to take me out all the time, close to his family, financially stable, educated... but I feel like the spark is gone. I feel bored, and most importantly, taken for granted.

He never buys me flowers. He doesn't take me out that much anymore, doesn't take much care of his appearance, never compliments me (when he does it's kind of in a childish way I don't know how to explain it), and doesn't make me *finish* anymore when we have sex (4 out of 5 times).

And he hasn't proposed. Even though I've asked him. His friends tease him about it, his family too. And that lack of commitment also scares me and pushes me further away.

Bottom line, I feel like I'm settling for a comfortable relationship. But I want to live, to feel that spark, to really be in love. But at the same time, will I ever find anyone else? Has anyone been in the same situation, and what did you do?

Updates

1 y

Update : though our communication isn't perfect, we have talked about this a couple times. I haven't seen much improvement since unfortunately

[caring__1]

It appears both of you expect the other to keep the relationship new and alive. The spark you felt was the newness that existed in the beginning, but it sounds like both of you have fallen into a rut. All relationships fizzle out if both individuals don't work together as a team to make the relationship meaningful. It's not about what either is entitled to receive, but what each brings to the relationship. Hopefully, both continue to do their best to present the best package they can to their partner.

You have no control over the other person, but always look at what your role is in creating or maintaining whatever pattern exists. When he does something you appreciate, do you show him your appreciation, or do you treat it as a normal expectation that needs no acknowledgement? Feed the actions that matter to you, and do your best to address what you've learned your partner appreciates. Without understanding your role in this situation, you'll likely find the same situation existing in your next relationships.

[Guy13]

Sometimes we go stale when we forget how we got there. That's a two-way street. Can you not speak and try before 5 years is thrown away? Once that occurs, there is likely not going to be any going back... I would not reinvest if terminated.

[LazerBean]

1. Love is not just a feeling, love is built and maintained. So that's on both of you.

2. It sounds like he never really had plans to get married very soon, which is something that should have been discussed and addressed at the very beginning of the relationship.

Sounds like both of you are pretty negligent with the relationship and did not do enough communicating at all.

[__MisterGoneShiner__]

Sigh. I FEEL BAD for the dude who got through all that suffering BECAUSE OF YOU.

Please just don't try to love boys. Go marry a DOG or something. 😒😒😒

[Asker]

Pretty sure I'm the one suffering at the moment but thank you for your intelligent insight.

[boggboss]

Have u guys spoken about these subjects your upset about?

[Asker]

Yes, I've told him about my doubts about our future recently. I haven't seen any changes since

[boggboss]

And u have explained thwse are issue that would make u leave and what the issues actually are

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one who hit on you and asked you out

[Asker]

No it was kind of mutual. We would each ask the other one to hang out

[Opinion Owner]

Interesting

[In_Trance]

yeah