This amazing girl has done so much for me as a friend/ romantic partner to help me grow and mature into a better man to the point I wanted to be with her the rest of my life. We've been on and off for a long time but she recently admitted that she never really loved me and didn't really see me as a potential marriage partner. Her other reasons were she didn't "like my attitude" when it comes to God and my role as a provider in a relationship aka I don't make enough money.
We live separately in the LA area and it's very expensive so I can't afford it alone. We both make around $50k a year but she refused to be a partner in this regard in terms of working together and says she'll be making more than me when she gets into one of the film unions despite the fact she's been saying that since I've known her. Her logic comes down to she feels she'll find a better man with more money in her industry and more like-minded goals. I've always supported her in her career and encouraged her, sacrificing part of my happiness to stay in a state I can no longer stand to live in aka California.
It has crushed me emotionally to the point I no longer have any interest in pursuing any more relationships or even dating and I just want to ghost her and finally move out of California. However we are very close and it's very hard to cut someone off after so long despite the fact I've been hurt by her. I really need advice on how to recover from this and move on, please help!
How do I deal with a 10 year friendship/relationship that's gone sour for me?
