Should I still chase her or no, or fight for my love?

[oldhabitsdiehard]

so i was at this job interview where i see a girl, she came to me instead and said can you ask all the boys that if we all the girls can join you guys for lunch after training and we planned to go out, after we passed the training for the job she asked me on my number if i have passed the test and i replied to her yes i have passed and we started talking daily after work, ( i am muslim living in a muslim society and country ) we never talked to much at work and i am kind of boring guy so i was always quiet around her, so in a few days she got sick and i started to talk to her about what thing she can do to make her well and in a few days she says why are you being so overprotective about me and why are you so nice i had feeling for her so i did not hesitate to tell her that i like her, the moment i told her this she started to start saying things like we are just friends and i have no feelings for you which i respected and said no worries im not in a hurry, and everyday after work i used to tell her that you were looking beautiful at work and she said to me that its making me uncomfortable i thought maybe she wants to sound shy and dont want to move into a relationship so soon after sometime she kept on giving me signs that like looking at me smiling and even calling me roma tomatoes cuz i get red sometimes when i laugh to hard so this time i said im gonna tell her that i love her, which i did and she said no and after a long argument when she kept on saying we can't move into a relationship i said fuck you to her and never ever to show her face to me , so in a few days we stopped looking at each other and after four days i could not keep up without her so went to apologize to her and after that she blocked me on whatsapp and after that i tried talking to her a few times, and in a few days she made a new friend at work which was a boy and she was very friendly to him even after telling her that i love her she never came back and never really gave me a second chance

[Guy13]

The first right answer would have been, “I’m concerned for your welfare”. She interpreted your sudden care to be “want to get in her pants”.

[Guy13]

The second thing would have been to stop pushing her and let her decide. Caring for her welfare (“overprotective of her”) is fine if grounded in genuineness.
-Wholly you proved your “care and concern” was self-generated in order to secure Something. The benefit of “goodness in you” ended when you acted out like kid on playground.
DONE-move on….

[oldhabitsdiehard]

yes bro i did that for a few days so she became suspicious and i was a fool to tell her so soon

[oldhabitsdiehard]

one thing i forgot to mention was that after i told her that i like her, she told me that she has a friend at our office that likes me and was asking for my number and i said no to her to dont share my number, after a few days every time i asked her for her well being she told me that can i give her your number one day i said yes just out of curiosity and then she said i will give your number if anyone asks for it, which made me angry then i said fuck you to her

[Guy13]

She is a classy lady. She tried to preserve your feelings by alternative avenues (other phone number) and preserve some sense of a friendship. If she did not give you friend's number or share your number prior to outburst then you should not expect to receive that number. "I could not do that to her." rationale. 1 to 1.5 years of consistent, calm energy, and approachability BEFORE trust is reestablished. SOMEWHERE in that process comes an apology... later than sooner as it will APPEAR that your conscious has been tormented by actions. Not immediately since she perceives you as Self-Interest guy already.

[oldhabitsdiehard]

yeah man, its really hard to cover things if you fuck up in the start of a relationship, thats why i have thought to apologize and keep my distance and act cool and let her make the move when she decides

[Guy13]

And we all do that fuck-up at least once. It is going to take Time and timely admissions or sorry. Women love to see a guy with a conscious but not on the front end... not immediately after. They want some pain and torment to have time to foster SO the apology is real... Nice gestures like bringing in 2 dozen doughnuts for Office in a couple months... then apology as "you are different".
About all any of us could do is Chill, smile, gentle voice, and timidity...

[oldhabitsdiehard]

what a beautiful way to put all things to rest, really appreciate your help.

[Guy13]

Anytime. 👍👍

[Avicenna]

It‘s too late for that after what you Said to her

[abinavzene022]

Don't put girls above self-respect, they will shit on it.

[In_Trance]

Whatever works for you

[Iron_Man]

Fight for her

[oldhabitsdiehard]

she told me that, she is now interested in an old friend (told me this after i fucked up )

[Iron_Man]

Give her 30 more days

[oldhabitsdiehard]

man she clearly told me not to text her anymore yesterday :(

[Iron_Man]

They all say that I’ve had my share of fights but they expect you to come back but they always tell you no but you have to fight hard that’s why I said give it a certain amount of time send her flowers call her come to her door send her some gifts through UPS things like that they go to the heart

[Iron_Man]

Well you don’t live in America just send her some stuff though

[oldhabitsdiehard]

i gave her a box of chocos and 30 dollars to her account when i got to know through a friend that she was short on cash on the end of the month she sent them both back to me

[Iron_Man]

How many days ago was that was that before the fight or after

[oldhabitsdiehard]

two weeks i guess, i was short on cash as well but got it from a friend to make her feel better

[oldhabitsdiehard]

after the fight

[Iron_Man]

Give her a certain amount of time left if it isn’t working out MoveOn

[Iron_Man]

How much more time do you want to give her

[oldhabitsdiehard]

since she told me not to text her anymore, i told her that i will be leaving this office immediately and did not go to work after that and its been 8 days to that as well

[Iron_Man]

But you need to work something needs to be done

[oldhabitsdiehard]

yeah bro, i have now started training in another office and not talking to anyone at previous office

[oldhabitsdiehard]

she might have told all the other girls about this and now i want to stay away from the toxicity thats why i left it

[Iron_Man]

Figure out how much more time you wanna give her set a deadline and you’ll know that you’ve accomplished everything you could accomplish before the deadline so you’ll have peace of mind either way

[oldhabitsdiehard]

i was thinking to marry her, cause we had a lot of things in common and she was also working from a very young age (16) now 23 so i was kind of inspired by her morals, and since i started my career last year when i was 23 after my graduation i find it impressive as well for a girl to be working from a young age

[Iron_Man]

Why is she so upset with you what did you do

[oldhabitsdiehard]

but since i have always fucked it up with girls due to my shitty chatting skills i lose every girls in a few weeks or months i dont know why

[Iron_Man]

What they shouldn’t leave you because of that

[oldhabitsdiehard]

i have not made an stable relationship in like last 10 years

[Iron_Man]

Sorry to hear that

[oldhabitsdiehard]

ijust said fuck you after she said i dont feel the same when i said i like her