Is it normal to get scared by your boyfriend's angry outbursts?

[Anonymous]

Just to make things clear, he never hurt me physically.

The outburts usually happen when he's stressed and lately it's almost every other day.

He gets really aggressive, he breaks things, he shouts and then nitpicks at various meaningless little things and then we argue and I just can't help it but feel small, weak. I sometimes cry and wonder if this is normal and whether I am just too sensitive

He has a strong voice so any louder than normal talk from him gets me nervous, when he shouts I almost tremble, get a shaky voice and can't keep on arguing more.

Do you think it's maybe just me overreacting? My father also is VERY hotheaded and aggressive and loud, he even used to hit me for various reasons.

It's not normal

It's normal

[D_Bone_Steak]

I don't even like relationships right now... I'm trying not to yell at my woman right now. She put her car in the shop and told me she will get it when she comes home (a deployment).

All of a sudden I need to get it. It's like a mile and a half walk, crossing all kinds of dangerous streets. I will have to walk it because no ride. On top of that I have an 11-year-old autistic child I'll have to bring with me.

Her reasoning is she will have duty when she comes home and for some reason wants to drive that car to work. (here's where my male logic starts to conflict with her emotional bullshit) We have a perfectly fine SUV that she usually takes to work anyways. Just why is this all of a sudden so damn important that I have to figure out how to go hike all the way there with an 11-year-old autistic kid?

So I jokingly gave her a little shit about it. Literally just making a joke out of how she says things will be one way and then it's always hitting me with stuff I NEED TO DO, even though I really don't (Here is where I start to want to yell). She hangs up on me and is currently giving me the silent treatment.

I don't agree with yelling, and really don't agree with hitting... that's some bullshit. But everytime I hear these stories, I know there is 2 sides of an argument and my age makes me ask "What did she do?" I don't know about you but a guy yelling and breaking things is a guy being pushed over the edge. Are you sure that straw that breaks the camel's back... behind the scenes maybe, something you didn't bother to mention maybe? I've just seen it a million times... chick will be doing some shit she doesn't need to be doing... like adding fuel to a fire. In all seriousness... could you maybe, just maybe, be acting like my woman right now?

[bobby_bush_eater]

That's super normal for you to be scared. And you said he hasn't hit you, I'd add a yet to that the older you get the more anger can turn to violence. Sounds like he has issues and needs to work on that.

[Amy10223]

The question should be, "Why is my boyfriend having angry outbursts?" and not whether or not it's normal to be afraid of them. Of course you should be afraid of them-- I would be and many others would say the same. He has an anger issue he needs resolving before you get serious with him. Coming from someone with personal experience--my ex husband showed me his colors BEFORE we were married (bad temper) and I found him to be unreasonably upset at me over trivial matters many times. Why I thought the problem would be recolved once we were married, I'll never know--but it was foolish of me to think that way.

[Anonymous]

Your reaction is completely normal, his is not. I get that he’s stressed but he shouldn’t treat you like a punching bag, he needs to find a better way to channel his anger and frustration. If left as it is, I’m scared that things might escalate for the worst… stay safe and don’t let him make you feel weak bc you’re not. You are not over reacting, he is.

[Orange85]

Sounds to me like yelling and screaming is somewhat normal bc of your dad. But it’s not and like someone else said you can’t choose your parents but you can choose your partner. Anger like this and this frequent bud abuse even if he never lays a finger on you. And nothing u can do will change his problem. It’s a big problem that he copes this way. I’d leave him. And you reacting the way you have is completely normal honey! Hope you put yourself first and move on

[slatyb]

You have gone from one abusive relationship to another. That’s common. Dump the boyfriend and get some counseling to build your self-esteem and establish healthy boundaries.

[KarinMcDonald]

I'm sorry, but he sounds very controlling. Some men are just that way. We have many representatives now that want to control what a woman does with her own body. I'd say find a different boyfriend before it's too late.

[Wubs3000]

I misclicked and said not normal. Its very normal to get scared and I would too in your position he sounds super unstable. I thought the poll was if he was normal and I would say he's crazy

[SphynxUK]

It’s not normal.
If he’s not actually having an autistic meltdown then he needs anger and stress management.

[SphynxUK]

He might not hit you, but accidents can and do happen when things are thrown or smashed up. It doesn’t sound like a safe place to me.

[MTC29]

It is perfectly normal for a woman to be scares when a man is shouting and breaking things.

[LazerBean]

It's normal to not have a boyfriend who has angry outbursts

[KatherineJ]

Is it normal? No. If you are afraid, you should seriously think about your safety.

[Anonymous]

It's normal to be scared of the outbursts it's also not good he has them.
I used to have them a lot and needed good therapy before they ended, I hope he can get rid of them too.

[noohair]

He will not change. You can't choose your parents but you don't have to tolerate this. Run don't walk away.

[RandomGuy1030]

He needs to resolve his anger. For that he needs to relax. Stop arguing with him and say relaxing things

[Anonymous]

Umm yes. He shouldn’t behave aggressively like that. That’s not normal or okay at all.

[Avadarling]

Bounce his head off the canvas!! 🥊