I was in a relationship with a guy (M25) who started asking me to stop doing certain things. Let's say, he made me stop posting pictures of myself on social media, calling me an attention seeker. Filtered my old pictures and made me erase some. Filtered my followers and followings. Made me stop going to celebrations that involved men alone. Crop tops were a complete no, even in summer, if a little bit of belly was showing it would mean I was being disrespectful to him. When I brought up I wanted to join the gym, he said no, fearing that other men would look at me. On top of that, he was very paranoid and jealous, no matter how much I complied. I would get accused of having affairs if I hadn't updated him about my daily routine for a day through pictures.
At the beginning, I complied. I come from a traditional house and wanted him to feel comfortable, but it kept going worse and worse. I felt very smothered. I stopped doing many things for him and he didn't value it. When I asked him: "would you give up on going to the gym if I asked you?" He said no, because that's something I had been doing even before you. I realised there was a big double standard there.
We broke up at the end. I couldn't manage to fulfil all those demands. I want to understand to what extent it is healthy to make adaptations and changes for a beloved one. I was okay at the beginning, but all the constant accusations and control got out of hand, especially when summer arrived. I don't want to be completely inflexible and tell my next partner that I'm not going to change anything for him, but also don't want to be controlled so much and treated unfairly and become resentful again. Any opinions?
