I can't tell if I should keep talking to a girl who I told her I liked or drop it since I didn't get a clear response?

[Anonymous]

Context: There's a girl I only see 1-2 times a week since I have a really busy schedule and it's been around 2-3 month.

One day I was driving her home; however, hours before one of her friends gently brushed my shoulder and said bye only to me in a somewhat flirtatious way when she was leaving. I didn't think much of it, but my friend who saw this and said I should go after the girl. My friend was loud and the girl I was talking to heard this. She then asked me if I wanted help getting with her and I told her no I don't like her, then she kept asking me who I liked and was persistent saying she wouldn't leave until I told her (Not rudely, just curious)

I didn't want to make a random girl up because I was scared that it'd end things with her and I didn't want to confess because I was scared of rejection, but after sitting in the car with her for 1-2 hours I finally told her. She didn't say she was interested back, but she didn't reject me.

This led me to think she wasn't interested so I told her I hope this doesn't change anything between us since we were just talking once in a while in a sort of friendly vibe.

We talked for around another hour and she went home. I saw her the next day and she didn't seem to act any different. She acted completely the same to me and I stayed with her work till her restaurant closed.

Reasons why I think she was interested:

- She answers my text like instantly. Less than 30 seconds whenever I ask her something.

- She always welcomes and seems very happy around me.

Reasons why I think she doesn't like me:

- Obviously, she didn't say it back she just asked me why and when it started

- Our conversations don't last that long. Only our first one did then I told her I had to go for a sec, but didn't reach out to her again

- She doesn't seem to memorize what I say. (Ex. When I asked her about my birthday, she knew the month but didn't know the day until I gave her 3 days to choose out from)

- She doesn't reach out to me first

Updates

1 y

Out text conversions don't last long. (I'm not a fan of texting)

Updates

1 y

Should I still pursue her or the fact that she didn't give me a clear answer means it's a no.

I asked some of my friends and they gave a mixed answer too so I am so lost.

I really don't want to annoy her

[Gremlinimo]

Well are you calm enough to keep waiting for things to (maybe) happen? Or do you think you should actually test the waters and actually tell her that you'd like to see her as more than just a 1-2 times a week thing?

I'll say this now, because it's true... you usually regret things not done.

My opinion... pluck up the courage, deep breath, and let her know that you think you should spend more time together. She's either gonna go for it, or she ain't. But at least you'll know where you stand.

[Asker]

I can't spend more time with her. I get home at usually 7 PM every day and go to sleep around 9:30 PM then have to wake up at 5:00 AM to go on a run and a catch the train.

[Gremlinimo]

That's 7 days a week?

So if you're too busy for a relationship, you answered your own question, just let things lie.
If you really wanted to spend time with her would you make some sacrifices/compromises with your routines? It really comes down to how much you want to put into it, right?

[Asker]

It's just for the summer. I am an intern. I see her on the weekends.

[Gremlinimo]

There ya go then fella... throw yourself at it. Or don't.
Make that choice, hopefully the one that sees you taking a brave pill and getting on with it ! You got this, if you want it... it's just words and being honest with yourself and her. :)

[Asker]

Thank you very much!

[Gremlinimo]

There's no downside to this story dude... right now you don't have a relationship. She could say "no", you won't have lost anything. But she could say "yes"... and that, my friend, is what it's all about.

[Guy13]

Because you were honest with her does not affect your current dynamic UNLESS you blow it into Something that it is not. I’m sure she’s had a lot of guts say that 💩 only to disappear. Best thing that you can do is stay steady. Wanting to spend time with her “only” seems to be enough. Baby Strps…. make sense⁉️

[Asker]

Yes, I agree baby steps. It's only been a couple of month. What did you mean by "I’m sure she’s had a lot of guts say that only to disappear" tho

[Anonymous]

Girls are more interested in men who may like them. Not men who do. They lose interest if you tell them. They might even talk bad and gossip to their friends about you. Without a doubt, she definitely told that other girl about what you said. And she hasn’t said anything back so I’d say you have no chance. Her texting back immediately doesn’t mean much. It just means she is friendly or doesn’t dislike you. If you really like her, it’s best to ask her on a date. The longer your friendly relationship goes on, the more impossible it is to leave the friend zone.

[Iron_Man]

She has to do her part too as well remember that

[Avicenna]

Spend more time in person with her to see

[Asker]

Also I forgot to mention. There is a lot of drama. Not with the girl, she is 100% fine, but her ex is in jail and is about to get out very soon and her ex was really close with me. We knew each other since birth. I don't want to be caught in the drama so I am thinking about just giving up on her.

[Avicenna]

Yeah, well, taking that into account, you should back off.