Am I jealous for this?

[Anonymous]

So I don't consider myself a jealous guy. I really think that I'm secure in my relationships and I trust my wife 100%. My wife and I have been married for two years. When we first started dating, she would get started from head to toe, men checking out her body. She didn't notice but I did. At that stage I didn't feel jealous or upset. Yes it was disrespectful, but I liked the Idea that she was beautiful. It made me feel proud! Like this one time we were in the mall, and she was just looking at some clothes in the item shop minding her own business and suddenly this older guy (around 40 at that time) Said "Aye man, is that your women?" I replied and said yea. And he said "damn she's sooo sexy" things like that kinda made me feel proud of her because she is beautiful. Now, when we got married, it changed. So we were having brunch one Saturday. So as she was talking to me, she noticed one of her guy friends from back home and she got up and gave him a hug. He then caresses the low of her back as they hug cause he was a little too excited to see her and you know the usual Convo "I haven't seen you in years" and then he says wow you look amazing and then caresses her waist. I did feel some type of way but I had to play it off because she introduce me to him. On other occasions, I will see guys staring at her boobs and it annoyed me. What should I do?

[HollyK21]

When a guy gets too handsy like that and you’re there witnessing it then it wouldn’t hurt to say something. It doesn’t have to be confrontational and it’s not jealousy, it’s just disrespectful of the guy. As women we somewhat rely on our partners to protect us, not all the time or for every little thing, but it’s nice to be reminded that they are watching out for us. Saying something like “hey man would you mind moving your hands up a bit?” Or however you want to word it would suffice. It’s not an accusation (in the case that maybe he didn’t notice) but gets the point of respecting her and you across.

[Asker]

Yes I do agree, but that's not my nature and I wish it was. I don't like confrontation at all. I just don't want my wife to think I don't trust her or that I get jealous easily because jealousy is a form of distrust🤷🏿‍♂️. I'm torn! I feel like disrespected her and the realtionship when he did that

[HollyK21]

Not to sound rude, but that’s a cowardly way to act, and maybe standing up for your partner is something to consider adapting into your nature. Trust me I understand avoiding confrontation, I do the same at almost all costs. But if a woman is acting inappropriately with my partner then I will have his back. When you sit and watch your wife get touched on in a manner that is inappropriate and you do nothing, to me it shows weakness and like you don’t care what men do to her. Looking is one thing, physical touch is another. She would only think you’re acting jealous if you are out of line, which does not need to happen, and any man would respect you calmly asking them to mind their hands.

[Asker]

I respect your opinion, Truly. I would have to agree also. Thank you madame!

[HollyK21]

No worries, good luck with your situation going forward☺️

[Guy13]

Sometimes when men mature, the ladies have to take the good with the bad. At certain point we get noticeably territorial... at least I do. My girl looks and has the personality of Betty Boop but is super conservative. People look and yes, I like it... the neck cramps and beer spewing along sidewalk at 3 story rooftop pub. She never has all her junk out there to see but there is plenty of imagination for the guys to think about.

She never does that so good to see you old friend. Everyone knows not to hug her. She's conservative like that an OCD don't want COVID etc rubbing all up on her !!! The more I get to know her the more freaky I get. When she dresses up in the red Betty Boop dress, thing around her thigh, etc. it is quite an evening.

Did your wife like it when you got possessive or is she like back off?

[Guy13]

I'm thinking about getting serious with her and getting a dog... cause I know how Dawgs are...

[Avicenna]

Well, the visual checking out it is something guys do all the time, but what the old guy friend did was definitely not appropriate and you should have said something to him.

[Asker]

I agree I was definitely in the wrong, I guess it was like an ego boost for me🤷🏿‍♂️. But I don't know how the jealous started! Any idea?

[bstayl]

That’s disrespectful to you but not on her part. He was the one doing it. You should bring up though that it made you uncomfortable and maybe she could try to pull away quicker in the future.