Are all Long Distance Relationships doomed to fail?

[exitseven]

People start these on line relationships where they find relationships with people all over the world. People from different countries and cultures and folks separated by hundreds of miles. Is there ever a happy ending to any of these?

[midnightmoon05]

Yes for most people. That includes in person who date in close proximity.
To many who have failed…they may have unrealistic expectations or romanticist of the relationship when the ground is not solidly build. That can also go for those who date in closer proximity.

Relationships, together physically or not requires the work that many do not think requires to put in. That will always fail.

There was a couple who were here for a short time. They met here. He sold his house from Washington State and moved to Maine to be with her. They left GAG very soon to focus on their new life together.

A few younger couples have met here as well (LD), I didn’t follow up with them.
I do know most didn’t work out.

I use the soup making analogy to build healthy relationships. Both people have to put in yummy ingredients. When one partner contaminates it with even a small amount of disrespect, the soup will not taste good. It will also take a long time to make the soup taste yummy again. (Be it LD or close proximity).

it’s not the distance that failed relationships.

[Chrysantenum95]

"long distance never works, unless it does" as my psychology prof used to say. She said at some point, one or both of them might engage to emotional cheating and if they were too weak for it, it will lead to REAL CHEATING. Therefore, it never works.

[Chrysantenum95]

Thanks for MHO

[lightbulb27]

I married my wife after 5-6 years and we were 9hrs apart. didn't say it was easy at times... it wasn't. also might be hard if resources are limited.

Her sister in usa met a man who lived in france, they are now married together with a baby.

I man who installed my kitchen went to philipines to meet a potential wife he met online, got married sometime later, brought her to usa and have daughter.

that's 3...

Id be curious the success/failure rate of distance vs non distance.

[exitseven]

yes, you guys are the exception. I sort of forgot about you.

[OlderAndWiser]

I know a couple who met on this site. They lived 500 mles apart. They had an initial meeting "on neutral ground" and then started taking turns traveling to see each other. I took a few years, but they eventually decided to live together, and they both moved to a neutral location (but closer to her original home.) They are till together and doing well.

They are the exception to the rule. I think 99% of all relationships that begin as a LDR will fail.

[Apple1996]

Not all since some do work out but that's only a very small amount. Most seem to fail.

[Smashingdoozy]

No, not at all. But the reality is with long distance relationships one person has to be willing to move to where the other person lives within a relatively short time frame (less than a couple years) or they both need to find a middle ground to move to.

A long distance relationship won't ever work if the relationship doesn't have a goal of ever being not long distance.

[exitseven]

Yes, exactly. I finally had to give up on it because I knew it was not going to work out.

[quaranta]

Some have happy endings, some don't, and here is the proof:
https://www.reddit.com/r/LongDistance/
You'll see all sorts of threads there. Successful stories, unsuccessful stories, for various reasons... Some even quite weird!
You might get an idea for a ratio about how many are successful or not (considering, though, that people with relationship issues are more driven to ask for help on internet than who has a successful relationship so the impression could be biased).

[wingattebaby16]

i had a couple long distance relationships where he went away to college. He ended up meeting someone else that was there all the time, had sex with her, and i found out.

My sister had a boyfriend that only moved 4hrs away, he cheated on her right away and dumped her.

so for me, no i dont think LDRs work.

[Literalbillionaire17]

Yes and no.




As someone who dated mostly long distance I can say a few things about this but to put it simply, if both people don’t work to make it work then it won’t work.


Sometimes it fizzled out just bc it does and you guys can’t rlly see each other and it’s a mutual thing.


But sometimes one party gets bored while the other is try with the relationship and then that’s when it rlly doesn’t work.


I’ve had great king distance relationships but eventually we usually both realize that this was only a “right now thing” and then it ends 🙂 especially with my feelings on waiting till marriage and stuff

[Literalbillionaire17]

Sooo many typos in this but you get what I mean I’m sure

[exitseven]

yes, I get it. I had a similar experience.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Literalbillionaire17 What is your position on waiting until marriage?

[Literalbillionaire17]

@Jamie05rhs Im waiting

[Jamie05rhs]

@Literalbillionaire17. Oh; cool. Me, too.
So how does that affect long-distance relationships? Isn't everything just the same?
I would have thought that sex would only be an issue if the people were NOT abstinent.

[HighValue]

It only works if there is a plan to meet in person and one of them is willing to move to be with the other person. They also need a planned timeline for when that would happen and if it doesn't happen by the agreed upon time, they should end it and move on.

The majority of close distance in person relationships fail too though.

[NathanDavis]

some work out... others might not

just the same as the "in person" relations work out sometimes, and others they won't

[exitseven]

logical I guess.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Long distance relationships make absolutely no sense unless both people know they are going to be apart for 6 months to 1 year max then unite.

How can it be a relationships where you don't physically see the person nor touch the person ar all? Makes no sense.

Bound to fail.

[Topaz1979]

Whenever I tried long distance relationships online I found them to be much harder and less fulfilling than the ones that I had that were not long distance.

but if I had a boyfriend and he went away for work or whatever to a different country then we could make that one work because we have been around each other before, and we have already established an in person relationship also if he would be coming back after some time that would be great but if not I’d suggest we break up.

[Topaz1979]

But I don’t think all long distance relationships are doomed to fail I mean look at 90 day fiancé 😂👍

[Topaz1979]

Okay may be 90 day fiancé was a bad example

[Lliam]

I can't imagine how they could succeed.

When I met my future wife, she mentioned something known as "GU" (geographically undesirable).

I wouldn't waste my time on a relationship with an avatar on an electronic device. I need to meet people in person.

[Jamie05rhs]

I think we need to be specific about what we're talking about when discussing the topic of "long distance relationships.". You really have to define what the term means. If you're talking about halfway around the world, that's one thing. But if you can drive to see them in half a day, then that's something completely different.

[MementoMori_]

I would say that not ALL are doomed to fail, but the vast majority will. If the average same area relationship is 50% likely to fail, LD relationships in the same country are probably 80% likely to fail and LD relationships in different countries are 90% likely to fail.

[Aerolyn]

I wouldn't say all, but I wouldn't be surprised if most were.

I'm sure there must be some long distance relationships that must've worked out till the very end.

ASSUMING that at some point of the long distance they would end up make it not long distance anymore.

[red324]

As an example i've had a best friend for like 25 years now and in my opinion I think the reason it's lasted so long is that we don't spend that much time hanging out in person. We talk on the phone all the time though. We hang out in person maybe once a month. Lately because of his phsyco wife we hang out like every 3 months now, but we still talk on the phone and that's good enough for me.

[Rania05]

Some works out because both parties feel emotional affection for each other and are responsible enough to avoid cheating because they have a partner.
Other people don't have online relationship working either because they're not good or unlucky.

[BlueScorpio]

Yes, if they don't make an effort to move closer together. Someone is gonna have to make the ultimate sacrifice and move to one's country if they want the relationship to be serious and longterm.

[Daniela1982]

I would say 30% a success and 70% a big fail.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'll take those odds. It doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. But at least there's a chance.

[Jamie05rhs]

Is that Cecily Strong playing Krysten Sinema?

[Daniela1982]

@Jamie05rhs Don't know who she is.

[Jamie05rhs]

Ok; no prob

[MightyOlivia84]

Works if both parties are committed and loyal to make the relationship work till they both settle together

[rabbitzzz]

No. I still love my crush, my love of my life. Who is getting fucked by her boyfriend everyday.

[exitseven]

Sounds like a match made in heaven.

[Lustybliss]

as long as the communication is there it can last