Would you get into a relationship with a Super intelligent person (IQ-150 and above)?

[Anonymous]

Do you feel like you could be in a loving and mutually beneficial relationship with a person who: has an in-depth knowledge of a whole lot of things,

• has a quick brain,
• A strong sense of humor,
• An intense work ethic and intense focus,
• Super Great memory,
• Super challenging and intriguing intellectual conversations and debates with you, his friends, family and colleagues,
• A need for constant mental stimulation,
• A constant need to learn something new and or master all their skills,
• Is messy, especially within their workspaces,

I'm just mentioning all the traits that people with a super high intelligence levels tend to exhibit.

[quaranta]

I tend to have friendships and partners that have all some special intellectual features, because my interests/hobbies and IQ get mostly compatible with them (mostly programmers or people who have an engineeristic attitude to any matter - in a word: nerds). So I want to talk about the downsides your list overlooks.

I did date someone whose IQ was 153 (certified from early age), and it shown... In negative, too.
While I would definitely date someone with that IQ again, does a high IQ grant a good relationship? **No**. This high IQ guy had heavy communication issues, an extremely poor introspection about how he feels and to express it, worrying ethics about what is right or wrong, problems of any sort with attachment/commitment, impulsiveness, lack of responsibility, opportunism, social insecurity.
These traits are unrelated with IQ, although for sure having a good logic helps sorting issues, to some extent.

Further, a person with such high IQ (I speak for myself and others) may easily suffer of existential loneliness (even in presence of good people), and develops a huge inner world made of systems and enormous fantasies that are generally not compatible with anyone else, relying on a completely unusual way to perceive and elaborate data, and you might well expect that someone with a huge autonomous personal world could likely offer commitment issues (to not lose that "autonomy"), withdrawal, low availability to compromise, you could become the second choice when they get into some interesting hobby, lack of interest in your content once it's fully explored, loss of real esteem on your regards, and perhaps low social skills and awkwardness in small talks, formal situations etc because of insignificant experience in that (due to lifelong lack of interest in those exchanges - which might become an issue when they meet your friends and family), strange specific quirks, and could well be overwhelming with the size of their world, taking all the space and absorbing your whole self.
Some bad traits can be "empowered" in a destructive spiral if combined with high IQ: imagine an obsessive overthinker, a stalker with paranoid issues, a revengeful narcissist or a borderline daydreamer equipped with such brain (and I saw strong cases of this).

Try to imagine a high IQ like an "empowerment" of many other traits the person has, including the bad ones. So the real question could be: would you be ready to handle someone's problems, bad moments, bad traits, incompatibilities, resized to an IQ of 150?
Said that, if your IQ is above the average, and you find a compatible IQ-150 partner with exceptionally good traits that go in the opposite direction of the problems and lacks that could stem from such a high IQ, then it's jackpot (and good luck!).

[Asker]

You are right or with high IQs do exhibit bad traits as well in some cases as a disadvantage to their high IQ, but there’s a price to pay everything if you have one thing then you won’t have the other unfortunately but thankfully not every super intelligent person has those extreme bad traits like narcissism, antisocial disorder etc. There are highly intelligent people who function normally but of course they have their cons, everyone has cons.

[HighlyQuestionable]

Hello @ Asker, I fall into your super-intelligent spectrum. Male with a 145 IQ (tested out a age 7). I live in the midwest (don't know if that matters) Girls/Women here show little to no interest, especially when the iQ comes up.

Would love to answer any questions that you may have.

[HighlyQuestionable]

@quaranta,

Imagine an obsessed crazy-in-love stalker type that can access all of the world's information at will.
Scary, huh?

[AmandaYVR]

I would love this. Would be fascinating.

But it's not necessary/essential. I don't go around testing people or asking for scores. It's fairly easily evident who is intelligent/intelligent enough to spend time with, particularly when seeking balanced IQ and EQ. IQ is fairly useless (or, rather, unpleasant) without the EQ.

I grew up with higher intelligence around me. But it didn't make me like them more. But I learned more things, probably.

[Anonymous]

I fit into your definition except the focused part. I had a terrible childhood and adult life in abuse which caused chronic depression and anxiety. In many cases I have given up but trying to regain , it's a constant fight.

But I had inherited intelligence. It's so much to imagine. I can remember every page and sentences from books and can tell them where they are even after a long time , just by reading once. I can see the Google map once and can remember directions , places in a large city, can figure out large mathematics, physics easily. I am involved those fields.

However I never had a relationship , most people are too slow on mind. I can't relate to my parents , my friends almost anyone. I always wander why the things so easy for me are so hard for other people and it can direct your academia. Apparently not all professors teachers are actually bright and they get angry and retaliate if you prove them wrong. Intelligence is cool in some cases , I can cook and remember recipies from all over the world, can speak and learn new languages easily, win writing competitions without even preparing.

But it's hard to be friends with someone for longer time. They eventually get jealous, starts unnecessary arguments with me even after being wrong for the 1000 th time. Losing arguments everytime piss people off even if they are wrong.

I have tried with not no bright women. Intellectually they are very boring. A lot of times they tried to use me for academic gain. (My subject is not geography , still I worte her a poster in a topic for which she got the first place). But they never actually want me , when it's fun time they go for fun guys who don't read much or have money.

Most engaging experience with women I had , was with other female scientists. But they were much older. I have figured, I have only one type -- female scientists. Since they are already much less in number. It's very hard for me in dating markets. General girls aren't very interested and will get bored with me.

[Opinion Owner]

Just one more to add , I find the whole idea of IQ stupid and not so scientific. Most actual scientists that I know believe the same. No one in academia talk about their IQ and the IQ tests are weird. If you are actually intelligent you will know it. You will see that others can't function like you. During high school I finished the whole calculus in two days and I could solve differential equations and complex integrations in my mind within seconds. Even my teachers , and most professors can't so such.

[Asker]

Thank you for sharing your experiences and the challenges that you have faced as a super intelligent person, I’m sorry to hear that you had a traumatic childhood but it’s amazing what your brain can do you have a gift!.

[MCheetah]

My IQ is 150. I don't think that's exactly "super intelligent" (assuming you even take IQ seriously). If we were to quantify it, then "super intelligent" would be at least 170.

Also, none of that is how high intelligence works. A lot of people seem to VASTLY misrepresent what it means. It's not like a smart person is smart at everything, all the time, 24/7. There are even said to be different levels of intelligence.

"Intelligence" is more than just logic, critical thinking, and problem solving skills.

That's why a lot of people on GAG think I'm an idiot, despite said 150 IQ. That's like the same "knowledge" fallacy of people who assume all or most doctors, lawyers, or engineers have to be smart. There's an old saying: "Even an illiterate hillbilly can play Country Roads on the banjo."

Anyway, yes, I'd love to be with someone like that. And although she wasn't 150 IQ+, the love of my life had most of these traits. I wouldn't call her "intelligent." I'd say she was more wise, than anything. Or clever. She was the type to learn from her mistakes. So she became more weary to not make them again. But as far as strong critical thinking skills; I dunno. If we use IQ again, I'd say her IQ was maybe 115. 120 at the most. She wasn't really that smart. But her wisdom and ability to adapt was VERY sexy!

Sometimes being wise and clever can be just as sexy as actual intelligence.

I'm also going to put this out there. MOST women do not want an intelligent man! An intelligent man is not someone you can easily push around or play mind games with! He will call you out on your BS and repeat, verbatim, the things you said in the past, when trying to argue with him and prove you wrong. Most women cannot handle a man who is vastly more intelligent than him because he's harder to control or manipulate. TRUST ME on this!

[MCheetah]

vastly more intelligent than *them

[Asker]

you're right the only kind of woman who is compatible with a super intelligent man is an intelligent woman!, she'll know how to handle him, they'll know how to handle each other. The thing with intelligence is that if you don't use it then it's a waste, but what I've realized from research is that a lot of highly intelligent people use their brains by studying and going into those super challenging fields and applying their gift there and excelling. by the way an IQ of 150 and above means you are super intelligent I did my research.

[MCheetah]

But not everyone gets enjoyment through the same means. For example, I know I could excel as a doctor or lawyer, but I don't like most people as an introvert and tend to be annoyed by most of them (also a classic trait intelligent people are said to have). I legit look at talking to most human beings the same way an "average intelligence" person would talk to squirrels. Yeah, most people have the intellectual capacity of squirrels to me. So usually, only people who are intelligent AND enjoy being around, or working with, other people, tend to go into fields like medicine, law, or engineering. And I think they are the minority of the highly gifted, maybe 25% at most. Most highly intelligent people you'd probably never have even seen or heard of before. Cause they don't leave their homes too often. We tend to like not being around humans most of the time.

[MikeInHawaii]

People thinking you’re an idiot is the Dunning-Krueger effect.

[Dennisnky]

Honestly, huge huge turnon. Someone who loves to learn, is quick witted, understands everything I'm saying, can comprehend my message without confusion even when I sent a long rambling text or message on social media. I think it's fantastic and such a relief to talk to someone like this. I have heard that men don't like that and it's intimidating or not attractive or something, but it is what I am always eagerly looking for in someone to date. Like if someone gets confused easily, or I send a message and they really just don't understand, or if I'm talking about something I just learned about and they can't get into it, I'm just like UGH and I lose interest very quickly.

[Kaneki05]

They would only be about 30 above mine. But honestly that don't matter. It's about the personality not the IQ granted if the IQ is below average and dipping into mentally handicapped then it's a bit more of a consideration of it does matter.
Remember this just because someone has high IQ it don't mean they have a good personality for example Hawkings love the guy but he cheated on his wife so... yeah.
So someone with a high IQ but good personality I would for sure date, someone who's a piece of shit but smart nah.

[PinkRose24]

I would date an intelligent guy. But I wouldn't want to debate him wtf... I'd rather have a discussion/conversation with him. I would be embarrassed if he tried to debate everyone. A constant need for mental stimulation? Always wanting to learn something new? ... uhh does he ever have fun? Or is he just into scholastics. I would never date a messy guy. I'm a very clean person and I like keeping my space organized. Being messy is for immature people. I would not date the type of person you described for that reason.

[hahahmm]

Far as I know, men are wired to like women for reasons that have nothing to do with her brains. Honestly, there is no benefit to a guy to be in a relationship with a "super intelligent" woman. if you look at stats.. even guys who dropped out of high school make more money on average than "super intelligent" women. Not that dudes look for a woman's money but the point is, what exactly does she have that he needs? It's like asking if a guy would be with a woman who has 4 penises growing out of her back.

[hahahmm]

Plus that IQ 150+ chick is probably going to be a workaholic with a mustache or a workaholic with 5 friends with benefits. Nahhhh.

[Asker]

If a woman has brains she can benefit the relationship by helping him make important decisions in their lives and helping her partner find solutions and options, if they have kids she can homeschool them since the schooling industry in many parts of the world is horrible nowadays plus if you homeschool your kids you can control what they learn. A highly intelligent woman will be great to talk to because intelligent people like to stimulate other peoples minds including their own minds, she can be highly creative too because creativity and intelligence go hand in hand creative women come up with creative and smart ways to get things done in terms of cleaning, cooking, parenting, taking care of pets, taking care of you as her partner taking care of your family, hosting guests etc. so if a man says he does not want a partner with brains then well that's on him but having brains as a woman is a fantastic thing. and you know most smart people are hard working so if she's intelligent you'll have a woman who makes sure things get done! and she's less likely to nag you because the smarter you are as a woman the less you'll nag!. so the benefits are endless.

[hahahmm]

You don't need to be a rocket scientist to make important decisions in life! I know of women who didn't finish high school yet were geniuses when it came to raising kids and giving those kids what they need to be successful in life. Then you have some women who think they're geniuses and they have zero clue what they're doing. You also don't need to be a rocket scientist to cook/clean (things you mention). And you say smart women nag less? That's interesting because the smartest woman I can think of nags her husband a lot.

But I get it... you're like the tourism office of a state/city that needs to promote something as being great.

[Asker]

then you don't understand what intelligence is sir, intelligence is how well a person can acquire and apply knowledge, intelligent people can literally absorb extensive information like a sponge, remember it and apply it well, any woman who can find creative ways to cook, clean all that stuff I mentioned is intelligent a lot of people are walking around and have no clue how gifted they are.

An intelligent woman is gifted and she can be an asset especially if she can exhibit humility and can apply her gift constructively!. I know for a fact that any guy who finds a proper super intelligent woman would be glad that would not faze them at all because they know how much of an asset she will be in their relationship, especially is she has humility and if she uses her gift constructively.

[Asker]

This world is hell a smart woman will definitely come in handy because if she uses her mind she will help you through this hell hole and don't even say you don't need a rocket scientist for that well sir look at the sky rocketing divorce rates that are happening and part of the reason for this is that women cannot do the tasks I mentioned cleaning, etc. this is proof that you do need a rocket scientist or even just a smarty pants in order for you to do the things I mentioned!. its not 1940 anymore where woman are trained to be house wives and when they grow up they can just stay home and be house wives thats easy any woman can do that but it's 2022 now inflation is our friend most couples both of them need to work, clean the home, do groceries take care of the kids etc etc and smart/super intelligent women have an advantage here because if they apply their minds they can help their men overcome this horrible situation that we are in.

A smart super intelligent woman is going to find creative smart ways to get things done in this havoc she'll do it all cook, clean, go to work, be supportive, study and people will ask her are you super human and the truth is she is because not a lot of women can find creative ways to get things done well in their lives.

[Asker]

smart women nag less if she's smart she'll realize how nagging her husband is actually not doing the relationship any good, he doesn't like it and if she wants a happy hubby she'll stop!. If you want your men to do things you don't nag you ask politely and then remind him and when he gets it done you thank him any smart woman knows that, oh and you give him genuine compliments men love compliments!.

[Asker]

because a lot of women cannot find creative smart ways to get things done in this havoc of a world!*

[hahahmm]

The post was about IQ... don't you think when I mentioned the women who were great without being highly educated that I was talking about intelligence that isn't measured by IQ tests? So you're talking to yourself here.

[hahahmm]

Men don't need smart women just like men don't need female car repair techs. It doesn't mean that YOU don't find it useful to yourself to be a "smart" woman tho. You might as well tell me how men should wear sports bras or like women with mustaches instead of telling me how a guy needs a rocket scientist woman in his life.

[Asker]

If your a person whose intelligent then you’ll never have a good relationship with someone whose less intelligent than you. Most smart men go for women who are almost as intelligent as they are any way. No intelligent person would settle for a dumbo. It’s been scientifically proven that people are attracted to the people who are almost as smart as they are because that brings mental compatibility.

[Asker]

So you go on dating women who are not the sharpest tools in the shed but don’t speak for other men because most men would love to be with a super intelligent woman or even just a woman whose a smarty pants.

[hahahmm]

"If your a person whose intelligent then you’ll never have a good relationship with someone whose less intelligent than you" -- Absolute BS. I think what gets you feminist confused is that you are constantly projecting your needs/wants onto dudes & it makes you think that because you want an intelligent guy and need that... that men must also want & need it. Most doctors marry women with less education for example. Most literal rocket scientists are married to women who aren't. We could go on and on. I suppose in a fantasy world where men & women are the same everybody would be matched with someone at an equal level. But that's not reality. Men have had eons to accept the fact that men & women aren't the same and we're good with that. At least those of us who haven't been brainwashed by man hating feminists.

Anyhow, prove me wrong. Show me the long list of butt ugly women with high IQs who got dudes who were as smart or smarter than themselves... or even just dudes who had more money. You women have been drinking that feminist soup so long that you're starting to believe your own bs.

[hahahmm]

There's a lot of highly educated women who are considered worthless in a relationship by men!

[Asker]

I’m not a feminist your just angry cause you see I’m right! It’s been scientifically proven that we are compatible with people who are as intelligent as we are or who are almost as intelligent as we are, so if you like women who aren’t the smartest tools in the shed then go for it! It’s your life just don’t expect everyone else to do what you do!.

[Asker]

And your wrong your intelligence is not determined by the kind of job you have and how much you studied those super intelligent rocket scientists and drs who marry women who are cleaners, diner workers have probably married smart women you just sound like a bitter man!. There are many smart people in the world who didn’t study and who work ordinary jobs you said it yourself!.

[hahahmm]

Ahhh... here we come to the part where you realize you lost so you move the goal posts.
Earlier you said: "If your a person whose intelligent then you’ll never have a good relationship with someone whose less intelligent than you"
Now you say: "It’s been scientifically proven that we are compatible with people who are as intelligent as we are or who are almost as intelligent as we are"

You lost. Keep it moving.

[Asker]

yeah genius if your incompatible with someone it means y'all will never have a good relationship, and compatibility has to to with the degree of y'all's intelligence and commonality including a healthy degree of differences between the two of you, but yes intelligent people go for intelligent partners who are almost as intelligent as they are plus minus.

[hahahmm]

Hey, you must not be that smart since you keep arguing about this when you clearly lost a while back.

[watercolor_lions]

You're listing super successful people. Not intelligent. A lot of intelligent people that try are successful. Does not mean all intelligent people are successful.

I know plenty of intelligent people that waste their gift. Some are alcoholics. Some are gamers. Some just burnt out on life because it's too easy or they've been burned like everyone else and gave up.

[Anonymous]

It would be pointless. She'd find me frustratingly slow and a super brain like that feels alienated from everyone because they cannot lower themselves far enough to make a connection. It can be a curse socially and in that respect I don't envy them.

[Emiliamazing]

It could be a wonderful time, but only if this individual was able to focus on growing the relationship, versus a constant need to show their intelligence level. Every relationship should be mutually beneficial, not one-sided.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

I wouldn't mind that, but he would probably get bored of me considering how much smarter he is. It could be fun, having interesting conversations and such.

So yes, technically, but probably not possible.

[KittyBox]

The problem you then have is you'll begin to feel inferior to them in almost everything you do, if they have very little flaws, how can you relate to them?

[Asker]

Not at all if they make you feel inferior it means they are jerks!. And no is perfect even super geniuses have their own unique flaws.

[msc545]

I would gladly do this. I find intelligence incredibly attractive, and the world can be a lonely place for me since there don't seem to be all that many really intelligent women who are interested in me as well.

[msc545]

I also of course have to be interested in them, so what we really have are four low-probability situations (We like each other and both of us are very intelligent) that all have to align to make anything happen. On the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale with a standard deviation of 15, an IQ of 150 is +3.33 SD with the probability that 99.9567% of the people you meet will score lower. The probability that you will also both like each other is more difficult to calculate.

[msc545]

The odds, needless to say, are not in our favor.

[Asker]

If your both around the same intelligence level then there is a high chance you will like each other, people are attracted to people who have similar intelligence levels as themselves, because that helps make y'all intellectually compatible.

[msc545]

It certainly does that, but there is the matter of appearance, as well as some poorly-defined "chemistry" between people that both seem to go a long way in terms of mediating attraction. No attraction and you end up with a good friend, hopefully.

[Asker]

true, attraction is also a very important factor!, and you just can't force attraction if it isn't there then it just isn't!.

[msc545]

No, you cannot force it, but you can give it a chance at least.

[Vanidal]

Yes. As long as she knows when to negotiate ideals and being practical. And have the willingness to proactively contribute into the health of the relationship. Do appreciate silence but please no silent treatment, be communicative.

[RolandCuthbert]

My last girlfriend's IQ was 157.

So, of course.

[Paul09]

I would. But would they want a realationship with me?

[Asker]

They better want it!.

[Paul09]

Exactly!

[andreasderjuengere]

I would indeed enjoy to meet my match.

As long as she's physically attractive to me, and has an agreeable personality, of course.

[SeriouslyFunny00]

Sure, but if he wants to debate with me it's a NO. 💀😂

[jshm2]

People with high IQ's tend to be shit at relationships

[exitseven]

As long as she didn't mind being with a dumbbell like me and didn't talk down to me all the time

[annabananna]

I think we are pretty hardwired to be attracted to people of similar intelligence level.

[abc3643]

Why are you asking this question?
And don't say "Just curious."
NO ONE ever asks a question because they are just curious.

[Asker]

It’s actually because I’m just curious 😏!.

[abc3643]

No, it's not.

[msc545]

Very intelligent people do this, although you may not be aware of it or believe it. Part of the gift and also the curse of high intelligence is an insatiable curiosity that often keeps us up and thinking when we should be sleeping.

[Asker]

@msc545 I saw intelligent historic men and modern men and i asked myself if anyone on here would want to get into relationships with super intelligent people. so then i came and ask GAG users.

[abc3643]

@msc545 Yes and no. I understand "curiosity" but there's always a deeper motivator. Ask yourself this: Why do I click on this link and not that link when surfing? There's always a reason because it is not completely random (*). Indeed, this particular question is too ornate to be random "curiosity".

(*) Try to play a Rock Paper Scissors game against an artificial intelligence system. It's difficult because it detects subconscious patterns in your allegedly random picks. To even win about 50% of the time, you have to be very deliberate in the nature of your picks as you try and decipher its deciphering algorithm of your moves.

[abc3643]

Thank you @Asker. That is a legit answer.

[msc545]

@asker very good explanation. Did you have some thoughts prior to asking this question regarding the probable desirability (or lack thereof) of hyper-intelligent people?

[Hardworkingguy]

I wouldn't mind having a relationship with a woman like that. However I'd be more worried about whether or not she wants a man with a level like her own