Kinda need help?

[Anonymous]

Hi I'm 21 and I kinda need help one this, so I'm introvert that has anxiety issues social anxiety etc , and tbh I got inspired by a lot of people but one person got me like wow I want be like her
I want be mentally and emotionally strong and know how to talk to people with confidence
I have no personality unfortunately and no patience and anger issues and I can't fight my battles without getting anxiety panic attacks and I think this thing would effect me I negative way so I got really inspired by Megyn Kelly , her confidence the way she's fighting her battles the way she's controlling her emotions the way she deals with hate and negative people I love everything about it so please I need some tips to be like her

[MrOracle]

Here's my best advice for you:

You have a handful of people in your life whose opinion of you REALLY matters. Maybe only 3 or 4, and maybe as many as a dozen. Probably your parents, maybe a couple of really close friends, and perhaps a mentor. You should care what those people think of you, and what they think of your decisions and behavior, even if you don't always agree. Those people love you, and want the best for you, and their opinions should matter to you and should be considered.

As for everyone else? FUCK'EM! They don't matter. Their opinions largely don't matter. Stop spending ANY energy worrying about what they think of you. They haven't EARNED the right to have an opinion that you should be concerned with.

Of course, that doesn't mean you should treat people badly, or be a jerk, but you also cannot and should not worry about how the world sees you in every last detail. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT THEY THINK. Set down the burden you are carrying where you are trying to please them all, and never pick it back up again. The ONLY people you need to please are those few people on that very short list I mentioned at the start.

And here's the strange thing: the less you care about what everyone else thinks of you, the BETTER everyone else is going to think of you. I know that seems backwards, but it's true.

Think about the COOLEST, most CONFIDENT person you can think of - whether that's Megyn Kelly or someone else. Do you think THEY care what everyone thinks of everything they do, or do you think they only worry about what their closest people think? We both know the answer - and THAT's something that makes them MORE attractive.

And, lastly, don't forget to please YOURSELF. Again, I'm not saying to take it to the other extreme, and become a diva. No one wants that either. But it's okay to please yourself most of the time, especially if you aren't hurting anyone else or abandoning your responsibilities to do so.

Always remember: you only need to please a very small number of people - one of whom is YOURSELF. Eventually, you'll add a significant other to that list too, but keep that list small, and make people EARN their way onto it.

[Asker]

The problem is they keep on comparing me and telling me how weak I am and shameful and I won't be strong and they actually don't like me so the mission here is kinda hard cuz I want be attractive to everyone

[MrOracle]

No one - not even the most beautiful or the hottest person on Earth - is attractive to everyone. That's a completely unrealistic goal that sets you up to fail.

[Guy13]

You are so hard on yourself. You MUST stop that please

[Asker]

I can't help it

[PrettyPriya]

I don't know who that person you reference is, but I can say this, you just need to take it a step at a time. People that suffer anxiety tend to overwhelm themselves, which just causes it to be worse.

You might want to sit down during some quiet time and write down your goals. How you want to achieve them and what you have to do to get there. Write out things very specific, one by one.

Then, take each step one at a time so as to not overwhelm yourself. Mark them off as you go so you can see your progress. That will make you more confident knowing you are achieving what you set out to do.

If you misstep, don't get down on yourself. Go back to that goal and remember that you can do it and try again.

Lastly, talk to your doctor about possible medication that can help lessen the anxiety and reach your goals. There is no shame in seeking help to better yourself. Best of luck to you!

[mariana_cross]

You’re 21. You’re so young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Stop letting anxiety get the better of you! Even if your heart drops and you feel that knot in your stomach when you’re about to do something that you’re scared to do, like talking to knew people, just do it anyway! My advice is to just push through it. And your anxiety is probably caused by something really simple like not drinking enough water or excersizing enough or going outside enough. Just take and enjoy yourself. You only experience your 20s and your youth once. You don’t want to look back and have regrets.

[Asker]

It's actually hard I tried everything

[Bethany22]

Where did you develop your social anxiety?

[Asker]

Wdym

[Iron_Man]

Practice talking on here with friends

[Iron_Man]

If you have a bad temper exercise hit the punching bag