I don't believe in starting relationships soon after meeting, because what starts rapidly, usually ends rapidly as well. In my opinion:
FIRST STEP: You need around six months of platonic friendship, to know the other person. If you can maintain a platonic friendship for that long, it means you genuinely like the other person.
SECOND STEP: You need a mutually satisfactory physical relationship, where you know what the other person needs and wants, and if you can provide exactly that.
THIRD STEP: You need an emotional understanding. You need to be able to understand the difference between, what the other person says they need and want VS what they actually need and want.
IMPORTANT NOTES:
. Relationships that start with the third step, most often lead to excessive conflicts between the partners. Partners will eventually feel like the other partner is unpredictable, and cannot be trusted or relied upon.
. Relationships that start with the second step, most often lead to a lack of tolerance between the partners. Meaning, after a few months, the partners realize that they don't really like the other partner.
. Relationships that start step three before step two, most often lead to cheating or cheating-like behaviours, from one or both of the partners.
. If you are not naturally progressing from one step to the next step, than the connection is not meant to go further.
Yes, you are.
No, you are not.
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Do you think I am right about not starting a relationship soon after meeting?
I feel your process sounds good on paper, but it doesn't transition well in reality. I am not suggesting to change how you feel it should be done, but in my experience, waiting over 6 months to make things into a more physical relationship or making it friendship oriented is thebquickest way to not make it into a longstanding one.
If you approach it as a friend, that is what you will be seen as. You need to show intent early as the window to proceed into something more is narrow based on the person's attraction to you. You wait too long, it won't be more than a friendship and the person will think you aren't interested in something more, much less see you in that light.
I do believe that you should get to know someone before anything serious, but I also asked out my current girlfriend within minutes of first meeting her. We've been together for three years and have lived together for two of those years. My last relationship I asked her out within a few days of meeting her. I usually date for a 2-3 months before any kind of serious relationship, but I certainly wouldn't define those first few months as platonic lol. Your method seems a bit too conservative for me
People are desperate for some reason to get into relationships. I preach that people should avoid relationships because that's where the bullshit will come from 9 times out of 10.
Nothing is worse than running into a chick that is demanding marriage and a baby on a first date. Whatever the male equivalent of that shit is... I would say that's something to avoid as well.
I respectfully don't agree with you. At least not for everyone. You've got something that works for you. I don't see that working for everyone or even many people.
I believe that the three steps you've listed are the right components. But for me, those things are interlinked and often happen simultaneously.
It depends on the person. Personally. I do like to know someone first. Because it’s just like… I don’t even know you and don’t know who someone is and if I can trust them.
I keep my circle small sometimes because people I thought were good upstanding people turned out to be crazier then a wild goose.
I’m not gunna force 6 months of being friends if that is not feeling natural. It’s nice it a relationship starts that way I agree, but it doesn’t have to. No sex for at least 6 months is a good idea though
