Ex-friend turned mutual friends against me. How to handle it?

[Anonymous]

I had a big falling-out/misunderstanding with my housemate. I think both of us didn't behave very well tbh, and I admit I was rude/unreasonable at times as was she. But after our falling out, she's gone round everyone we know exaggerating what I said, telling them I'm a horrible person and trying to spin the story that I deliberately went after her, which I didn't. She's never in the wrong or partly in the wrong according to her, or takes accountability for her part in the falling-out.

A few of our mutual friends believe her I guess because they won't even hear my side of the story. They won't talk to me at all now. How should I deal with it?

[Bethany22]

I remember trying to turn people against one of my roommates, but I knew that none of them would ever meet that roommate. I just wanted to make sure that the people around me thought highly of me, and I just used my roommate as a way of illustrating how much more moralistic I am than other people. It backfired though, because my roommate happened to be in ear shot when I was talking on the phone about them to somebody. I didn't mean for them to hear it, but unfortunately that roommate then started to become even ruder than before, rather than take the accidental hint of what they need to do in order to create harmony. I guess some people are more so task oriented than harmony oriented, but if this relationship is important to you, then just start being nice in the way that she wants you to be, and maybe she will become more humble.

[Guy13]

Welcome to the hierarchical structure of Girl and Boy Groups. She carry more clout?

[Asker]

She doesn't carry more clout, she might be closer to them though than I am.

[Guy13]

There you go... they'll listen to her. Graciousness and act like "there's nothing wrong... I'm apparently the adult here" is only option. Now if it is likes the boys, we love a good dog fight amongst two male bulldogs. We'll hang around and hope to incite the thing just for the Show !!

The girls might be the same? At least they will be watching? You women and emotional crazy whole different kind of doing.- Above my pay grade !!