How do I tell this gamer-girl "I love you"?

[Chilligarlicflakes]

We met on apex when we just started the game (we both switched to pc from console at similar times) and we started using in-game chat to talk to each other. We then added each other on discord and hopped on a call, face revealed etc. She's the most beautiful women I have personally ever seen. I have built a good friendship with her and we frequently play together. She doesn't talk much bc she told me 'she doesn't like the sound of her voice'... Does it mean she's not into me orrr? Anyway, any tips on how i should break the news or approach her would really help!

PS. If this helps, she is a bit older than me, not by a lot though.

PPS. She's German, I'm Polish

[AmandaYVR]

There’s lots of diverse advice here. It should be interesting for you to consider it all.


I just want to say one thing: Ask yourself whether you’re certain that you want this girl to be the first person you say this to. You’ll remember this for many years, possibly forever, and at 15, you’ve got a lot of life to live, and presumably meeting up in person with her would be extremely difficult (though possible? I don’t know what your travel options are, and if your parents would both allow it), and is this the person, and the situation, that you want to live in your memory and be a pivotal moment?


You can easily keep going with your friendship, and stay non-romantic, or see if it you see hints or signs from her that she feels the same. Nothing seems to be stopping the progression, which is good. If you’re unsure if she will reciprocate, that could be extremely painful if she doesn’t. If you wait, and she does, it could be one of the happiest moments of your life, thus far.

[SueShe]

Let me bring the bad news first.

You cannot really love a person that you only see on video games and in chatrooms. Love is something that has to be earned and I don't think that what you experience for her is love. It may be infatuation at best but certainly not love.

Have you ever met this person in real life? What do you know of her besides what she wants to tell you? To love someone means to accept the negative aspects of that person as well. I doubt that she really told you everything negative about her and I also have my doubts that you told her the negative aspects about you.

Now, if you want to tell her that you "love" her, then why not just say it in the same way as when you talk to her in the chatroom? Are you sure that your love is reciprocated? What will happen if she has no feelings for you? Will you continue to play games with her and chat knowing that it will hurt you every time? Think of it!

[SueShe]

PS: I forgot. I love you in German is

Ich liebe Sie (polite/fromal form) or
ich liebe dich (friendly form)

[Onlyonceatime]

I have a good friend I met on a video game years ago. I make the time to go meet from time to time. Everyone says that "that's pathetic. How can you be friends with someone who lives so far away" the same thing you are saying to this boy. But that one friend is the coolest I've ever had, and most people are shitty to interact with if long-distance relationships and friendships can be significant. At least, that is how I feel. I would have never met a person like my friend if I didn't play that video game.

[Meanphish]

I met and fell in love with my wife in England over the internet. We both knew we loved each other before we met. We are happily married with a daughter now. Thanks for telling everyone, how people fall in love. I guess I got to go divorce my wife now lol.

[LemiaOfThunder]

I think you all misunderstanding what he means. He means He was watching her stream and finds her attractive and wants to tell her he loves her. there's a difference between interacting with someone and just declaring your love for someone.

[Username28]

Sooooo the only way love can be “earned” is in person? My boyfriend can’t “earn” my love by all the effort he puts into the relationship or by the fact he does in fact treat me the way I deserve. If I mention something just venting he takes care of it. He can’t “earn” my love by the fact that he sees past certain things that most people can’t?

I’ll be sure to let him know and break up with him. Cancel all our future plans for the future. Thank you for your wisdom 🙏

[Username28]

*our plans for the future

[LemiaOfThunder]

There's a diffence You've met your boyfriend or at least engaged in adult converastion. The person is talking about going into a streamers chat and telling them they love them.

[DrBanana]

A little non creepy recon will be needed my dude.


Is she taken her likes and dislikes kinda think talk to her about it if possible let to come organically if possible.


Second thing is if you haven’t already meet up to hang out if that’s a possibility.


Playing and talking to people on line and real life are a little different dynamic wise.


Give it a little time then if you still like them ask them out for a date but remember to put no pressure on them if they feel uncomfortable or want to say know let them know that’s ok to.

[Anonymous]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/R7QzJEI9DEE

I don’t know. You never met her before. I don’t typically recommend dating online and not long distance. But you never elbow unless you try

[Cynicaldreamer]

First of all, does she have a boyfriend? Don't get too happy and ready to confess not knowing if she's even single, much less into you!

So I suggest you take things slow: get to know her more, outside of just gaming. That's great she likes video games too but what else do you two have in common? Do you know much about her outside of gaming? Again, as a gamer, I approve of you trying to connect with a fellow gamer, but you need to make sure you don't just like her because she's a gamer!

On a sidenote, I know how she feels talking on mic/headset. I don't like it either: I hate how my voice sounds (I've actually had people call me "sir" before and that's just... insulting) or she probably rather game than talk.

Chat with her (about stuff other than gaming). Gauge if she's into you or seems interested, and go from there. Don't go confessing your feelings too soon or you might be disappointed.

[Mafia24]

Even if she have boyfriend what's wrong in having two guys at a time?

[Chris_u006]

@Mafia24
Whatever floats your boat dude!

[OlderAndWiser]

I cannot add any more to what @AmandaYVR and @SueShe have already said.

[Guy13]

Not bluntly. She needs to feel it.

[Anonymous]

I met my boyfriend on a gaming app. We’ve been together a year and a half. I pursued him. He said Ily first. I’ve met his friends and family and he’s met my friends and family. We’re both in the US but it is a long distance rn however I’ll be moving in with him in the spring. That’s long story short.


in my opinion, you shouldn’t tell her that you love her rn. Start talking to her. Like have her actually talking to you. If you like her voice, straight up tell her that you like her voice after she says something about it or cannonball and say it. Encourage her to talk, try to be nonchalant about it though. Have vocal conversations with her. Build that connection verbally. I don’t suggest forcing her to have like an hour conversation in one night. Do you have mutual friends from somewhere? If there’s a platform/app where you can do kinda like a group call gather everyone together and talk or drink. Have kind of like a virtual party, I guess. I’m not familiar with Discord but Line allows you to do group calls and video chats. You can get on call and listen to some YouTube videos together. Video calls you don’t know whose looking at who unless you announce it.


Start having actual conversations before you say “I love you.” Before you say it you gotta decide if you’re willing to move there and if you’re willing to have her move in with you. LDR are similar to traditional relationships in the sense that there’s an end goal. It requires “blind” trust (you have no choice but to take them for their word), requires blunt communication (delivery still matters), requires listening, and requires A LOT of creativity. Can/will you do that?


Get to know her verbally first! Build a verbal connection first!

[EmyyWolf]

online dating is weird. Long-distance dating is also weird. You’re never gonna grow your manliness unless you go out there and date in person and talk to people in person.

Video games are fun, don’t get me wrong. But you don’t want to become a slob either. Watch the HodgeTwins. 👍

You’re just 15 though. You have time to understand this.

[Rosexøxø]

Well, you just told us, and you don’t even love us.

I just read the question, by the way-

not the back story.

It’s too simple, really.

Be direct or be clever and find someway to tell her using Minecraft blocks- IDEK

summary:

Be direct. Verbal. 🗣

Be crafty. Through means of your shared interest: gaming. 🎮

[Lookingforthetruth]

You don't. She already knows and usually the first person who says "I love you" often loses and gets placed in a submissive role where they are the mercy of the one who they proclaimed their love for. Also, women don't like it when guys are won over early, so chances are she will not reciprocate back or just plain out ghost you.

[Anonymous]

Don’t hop skip jump all the way over to love when you haven’t even put mutual feelings on the table or made it to a relationship.

[Kori1236]

I would take things slow. Consider meeting her in person if possible. Find out if she’s seeing anyone currently then go from there. But I wouldn’t jump straight into professing your love for her.

[WhitneySnow]

Tell her straight up but maybe say really like you instead of love you. Saying love you when you guys don’t know each other super well might scare her off.

[dustybiker]

If you tell her something like that outside of rationality she will laugh and simply think you’re cute. Build bond. Share later.

[Marklaw12]

Just say it. Never be afraid of rejection.

"There are many fishes in the sea"

If you wanna be safer.

"I really really like you" should be the words you say.

[monorprise]

That is pretty stiff competition given all the men she is constantly hanging out with.

[LemiaOfThunder]

You dont thats creepy and slightly stalkery. You can tell her you like her content but Never tell a streamer you love her.

[LivingExample]

At 15 you should Not be telling anyone except your family “I love you.” Just keep enjoying your time together. Some other times need to take place before “I love you!”

[anon1903]

Beautiful women are usually taken. Tread carefully.

[humanearth]

Tell her that you like Linux computers better than Windows or Apple

[Philyouup]

by saying it. but if you like a fanboy. you have no shot, and should walk away before restraining orders start piling up.

[Valso]

LOL, you're still in kindergarden, you have no idea what love is, so stick to video games only and don't embarass yourself!

[Valso]

P. S. Besides, women don't like it when you love them. The less often you tell them that (or better yet - never tell them), the more likely it is for them to stay with you.

[Cubus]

"Would you reprogram with me"

Sorry, I had to