I really need advises and opinions on this, someone help?

[Anonymous]

How do i deal with just being friends with a guy i like, who i pushed away without realizing it (we had a thing for each other during high school) He has a girlfriend now but he begged me to not avoid him coz of it... I try so hard to control my emotions, to accept the reality but it doesn't help... he always tries to flirt with me, or remind me how much he still loves me... I don't want that kind of friendship because i have to pretend i don't feel the same way coz i don't wanna ruin his relationship and i told him that... Even though i get sad when i see him with his girlfriend... i still wanna be a good friend by not giving in to the temptation with all the mixed signals he keeps sending I try to stop texting him but i always find myself texting back coz i like talking to him I don't know what to do, how to let go without crying myself to sleep.. I like him, yes and i wanna have him as a friend but i dont think its working for me!! How do i leave without hurting myself , how do i let go and not have regrets? I need advice please!!

[lightbulb27]

It's easy, you lost him to the other girl for now so you must let him go.. because you aren't the type to trash this other girl. Warning... some girls will gladly trash you, so be aware.

The way to do this is to recognize in your mind how fictitious all of this is... it's a fantasy, you don't know this guy that well, he has a girlfriend and he's messing with you... so he's an idiot. As well, you don't know what he is really like and all his flaws and annoyances... he's a human being. Probability of it working if you were with him is low.

So drop the fantasy love and tell him good luck with the girlfriend he chose.

Then suffer the pain and loss and sadness, write it down, process the feelings and emotions. Learn what you can about yourself and grow from it so the next potential goes better.

If you are pushing him away before he had another girl, that's another matter.

[Asker]

Thank you so much, that helped

The last paragraph tho
What if i did push him away before he had another girl?

[lightbulb27]

Then that's about you and your self worth. You need to examine your deeper emotions and view of yourself. I know this as I used to screw myself, run away, and put up barriers. That be a self image issue, maybe you "cursed" yourself, etc. if you were emotionally abused, that be the place to look and repair.

[Asker]

I see
Thanks a lot, that was really helpful

[Emanon25]

Why do you need that if he has a girlfriend?

[Asker]

The friendship?
I just like talking to him, i guess
Even wen i have other people to text, dunno why

[TrueConfection]

Stop all contact with him and meet someone else.

[Asker]

Alright, thank you