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We've been dating for slightly over a year now. It seems he has fallen for me but I'm not in love with him.
In a way, this makes me see the relationship in a logical manner and I don't do stupid things in the name of emotions and love. I do love his company, his traits, or common interest and have no plans on leaving him. It's not my fault I'm not infatuated with him.
So as long as we're not infatuated with the man, we can think logical and rational?
Updates
1 y
I've only fallen in love once but that was a disaster for me. I feel for who I wasn't suppose to and that past relationship had too much drama, I've wasted tears into that and didn't made me think logical. Now I'm with the right guy but just not in love with him.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Yes as infatuation and lust clouds our ability to think rationally and our behaviors or actions evidence this to be true. In a healthy relationship the relationship itself feeds itself. In other words, we feel infatuation, positive and negative emoticons, and ultimately the couple's reaction feed the relationship so that it grows healthy.
Why do you want to be infatuated with someone? You can't go through life as an adult, infatuated - infatuation is intense but immature and short lived. You love some good things about him, this is what will make you feel secure and happy in the long term, this feeling is better than your emotions being all over the place when you're "in love". I was going to suggest you take a break so you can get some space and perspective so you can see how much value he adds to your life. I made this mistake a few years ago, I wish I had given him a chance. At least you're trying - I closed it down before it began. Don't make the same mistake as me, looking for some excitement and to really like the man. You do think clearly when you're not the one head over heels, you will make good sensible decisions instead of acting on your emotions and against your best interests.
This is precisely why I'm staying in this relationship. If you read my update, I actually had a terrible experience with my past boyfriend (now ex). I ended up falling in love with the wrong man, only to then discover we had little to nothing in common and it was a toxic relationship in the end, where my parents hated him. Unlike my ex, my parents like my current boyfriend.
I'm beginning to think falling in love is overrated.
Despite what I said, if you're not in love with him a year in, will you ever? Do you want to live a life where you don't love them back? He deserves to be with someone who will love him back. You're young, don't settle for someone you don't really want to be with. Don't give up hope - there are plenty of decent men out there who you can love. Your relationship sounds one sided, more of a friendship from your side. Personally, if I was your age, I would speak to him, say you would like some time to think, a bit of space and speak to others (not that the grass is always green on the other side) who have similar interests, you might find someone who makes you feel like that. I feel bad for your boyfriend but I wouldn't waste time either if you're really not sure.
Maybe - I wouldn't stop looking for it though. You will need to take some risks though. It all depends on how much importance you put on it. It sounds like you do want to fall in love, if so... I wouldn't waste any more time on this. You both need to move on to find someone where the feeling is mutual.
Yes. And in other news water is wet.