Contamination ocd; intimacy restrictions?

i like to save myself from a soon to fail relationship so i don’t go through the pain of losing someone who didn’t believe when i said im not a big fan on touching and avoid kissing like the plague. being physical isn’t my thing and never has been and the thought of putting my mouth anywhere on a human body or even a straw someone has touched disgusts me even though i don’t want it too. i think it’s sad i’ll never be fully in the moment with someone you love like the romance movies show without feeling scared of the germs all around me making me anxious and ruin my fun time. i have gotten better though, i can now hold hands for a while until it’s sweaty then i run off to scrub my hands raw. baby steps
Contamination ocd; intimacy restrictions?
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