How important is it for men to be breadwinners when raising a family?

[ManHater]

From a man who works at walmart to a man who has a trade or career that has a monetary livable wage that can support a family while the girlfriend or wife can take care of the baby. How important is money in the overall apealness when women are looking to date men? I'm not talking about gold diggers because they usually go for men who are millions in the bank etc... I'm talking about modest hard working well paying wages.

Updates

1 y

Lots of Feminazi's here. Next time I will sit at home and let the wife feed and cloth me.

[Datboi65]

Very important. If you're not the bread winner, women see you as useless.

It's funny how the world works, but that's reality. It's a hard pill to swallow for many, but if you know female nature then you can't really blame them for it. It's the survival instincts.

Nobody expects you to be a millionaire, but you need to be self-sufficient. Women in the west have unrealistic expectations because they are living life with abundance of resources while other women have to rely on their men because life is not as easy in other parts of the world. You as a western man will have to overperform to meet some of their expectations (yes it's not all women but definitely a noticeable group) so they can see you in the same way that other women look at their men, that's IF they do. (You can't change bad habits easily, so even though they say they will change if a man makes more money, that's probably unlikely to happen).

Make no mistake, a man MUST be a provider, that's not negotiable. The question is about how much more should you have after you cover all the basic necessities? That depends on the woman. Some women are OK living a relatively modest life where their basic needs are met without additional requirements, while other women want to live a certain lifestyle of traveling and added luxuries. How she reacts to your income isn't something you can control, but what you can control is the vetting process (remove anyone who doesn't appreciate you for what you have) and to a degree your income as well (although how much you make is determined by various other factors).

Moral of the story is this: if you don't live the most glamorous life, that's OK. Don't feel like you've failed your job as a man if you have a median salary because it's not YOU who has to change, it's their appreciation of life that has to change. They need to be more grateful. All you have to do is find someone who is going to be grateful and that's about it. If it doesn't work for you here, you can always look elsewhere.

[Haha456]

Entitled misogynist filled with delusions from his patriarchal imagination

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Literally all of this is wrong.
Where did you got this from?

[Datboi65]

@Haha456 If it's by YOUR definition, then PROUDLY. If it's by the proper definition, then I'm not.

Just for the record, my father taught me how to act as a man and my mother taught me what to expect from women I deal with, so you may be shocked to realize that women are not a monolith and you cannot just call everyone who disagrees with you and "misogynist".

[Haha456]

How are you a provider when your wife has to work? Quite hilarious how misogyny travels through generations

[Haha456]

You want a super submissive , obedient, dutiful amazing houswife meanwhile you can't even fulfill your role as a provider.

[Haha456]

No woman becomes a houswife only to live off coupons ok?

[Datboi65]

@Haha456 You are not the brightest, are you? I never said she HAS to work. I support traditional roles like a man working and a woman staying at home. You cannot even read properly.

[Datboi65]

@Haha456 If you don't want to "live off coupons" then find a man who makes more than enough. Good luck with that, you're old with a stinky attitude.

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

Good luck with your traditional roles when 2/3rds of the country can't afford it.

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

Plus research data shows that its educated husbands and wives who both have careers that tend to divorce the least. It is the financially unstable couples that tend to divorce the most.

[Datboi65]

@Haha456 What research data? Cite your resources. I on the other hand know that a study conducted by the American Sociological Association (ASA for short) has revealed that college-educated women initiate divorce 90% of the time compared to 70% by other women, so you definitely made that up.

[Datboi65]

@Haha456 Ma'am you know nothing about me or what career choice I have made, so keep those assumptions to yourself. What 2/3rds of the country got going is their business due to their bad choices. People can live paycheck-to-paycheck even if they make six figures because they lack financial literacy and don't care about investments, which let's be honest because the education system does not prioritize that. Hell, you're probably on that boat yourself and are just projecting at this point.

[Haha456]

@Datboi65
As you can see vast majority of the worlds women aren't interested in marrying significantly older men.
Muslims have the widest spousal age gap (6.6 years between men and their wives or partners), followed by Hindus (5.6 years), Christians (3.8), Buddhists (2.9), the religiously unaffiliated (2.3) and Jews (2.1).

www.pewresearch.org/.../

[Haha456]

Generally, education tends to be protective against divorce. In fact, the marriages of college-educated couples seem to be lasting longer than they were 30 years ago. Among couples aged 40-49, the divorce rate for those with a college degree is about 50 percent lower than the rate for those with a high school diploma.

sites.utexas.edu/.../

[Qdbrown]

In our unconventional current times, young people don't see the problem.

The reality is that a woman will eventually judge her mate. She doesn't lose respect with him overnight. But if she makes more money, she will eventually lose respect.

Once that respect is gone, she will keep an eye out for better. This is normal female nature. She is biologically designed to build a nest and prepare for offspring. Even if she is not into having kids. Her urges are to maintain the best nest.

At some point, she will see others get better, and when she realizes her mate is slowing her down, from what is important, the relationship's days are numbered. This is not even contraversial.

[Subarugirl]

Thats false. Data shows that men have more of an issue with their spouses out earning them.

Thirty-eight percent of American wives earn more than their husbands.
So everyone knows, on average, - or at least I think most people know - that American women spend more time on housework than men, about 44 minutes more every day. But here's the weird thing. The researchers found that the gap in housework got even larger when the woman was the primary earner. They looked at the data on women's incomes relative to their husbands. And they said, and I'll quote here, "a threatening wife takes on a greater share of housework so as to assuage the husband's unease with the situation," unquote. But there's something else that's really weird here too. There's other research that suggests that when a woman out-earns her partner, it affects fidelity.
There's a study from Cornell University that looks at data on young American couples. And actually, the good thing about this bit of research is that it included married and unmarried couples.
he author found that a man is more likely to cheat on his partner if he is more financially dependent on her. And men who are completely dependent on their girlfriends or wives are five times more likely to cheat than men who earn the same amount as their partners.

www.npr.org/.../what-happens-when-wives-earn-more-than-husbands

[Qdbrown]

@Subarugirl Okay, so where does that divorce rate come in those numbers?

[Subarugirl]

I wasn’t looking for data regarding divorce rates. Since the study included both married and unmarried couples, there data regarding divorce was not a part of the study. At least from what I was able to find

[Qdbrown]

@Subarugirl These days an unhaply wife is a bad thing, unless you're a hungry divorce attorney...

[Subarugirl]

Wouldn’t an unhappy spouse be a bad thing in any time period?

[Qdbrown]

@Subarugirl When a wife is a leading initiatior of divorce Something like 70% for regular women 90% for college educated women

[Subarugirl]

Except people who have a college education are less likely to get divorced than those who didn’t finish college. In fact, lower divorce rates have a direct relationship with a person’s level of education.

[Subarugirl]

“The chance of a marriage ending in divorce decreases as educational attainment rises: over half of the marriages among people who did not complete high school ended in divorce compared with approximately 30 percent of marriages among the college graduates.”
– Bureau of Labor and Statistics, 2013

[Anonymous]

I just want to marry the man I love and that we can be financially stable to have a good life and our children. We both would work since it's what's normal now, but I think I'll try to leave my job for a while to spend time with our children and raise them well, just like my mom did.

[ManHater]

Wow that's a true honest answer right there.

[Haha456]

i don't know what kinda world you live in where you think its common for men to still be sole breadwinners. classic misygonist.

[serious_miss419]

😇 you said it girl

[Datboi65]

You really need to travel more

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

Because it simply no longer happens

[Datboi65]

The world is huge and it doesn't just revolve around North America and Europe.

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

So what? Just cuz 9 yr old girls get sold as brides in africa, it doesn't mean most of the world does that.

[Haha456]

Women and wives work in vast majority of the world

[Datboi65]

Your racism is showing. Africa is more than you give it credit for, and human trafficking occurs in the West as well.

Yes they work in other countries, but the MAN is the bread-winner because he earns more and these women respect their men.

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

you're too broke to support a wife and kids, why would you be a breadwinner?

[serious_miss419]

More like the men expect the women to respect them so they course them and manipulate them with religious cults.
Last I checked, men and women are equal bread winners and that is that. @Datboi65 you’re just butt hurt and reactive. She ain’t racist.

[RandomGuy1030]

@serious_miss419 yeah I agree modern wives need to do things like onlyfans. Because men ain't shit and can't earn enough

[Datboi65]

Easy for you to say, but let me ask you this. What do you know about being a wife? Nothing, because you're 31 and unmarried. Take several seats ma'am.

[Datboi65]

@serious_miss419 She brought up Africa of all places like they're backwards without knowing that Africa is a continent that has 54 different countries. No, religion is not a "cult" it's a way of life that will organize the chaos that is going on in society. Also, are you her lawyer or something? You're not her friend, so you cannot say that she's not racist. If you defend racism, then you're also racist.

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

you're too broke to support a wife and kids. you can't even fulfill your role as a provider. why should you deserve a wife and kids? Men who can't support a wife and kids shouldn't be having kids. Women should never have to work jobs.,

[Datboi65]

1) I was talking about marriage in general, but two can play this game. I'm currently in university, and most definitely will out-earn you when I graduate.

2) You're 31 and unmarried, not even in a relationship. Don't talk to me about supporting a wife and a family when you yourself are not close to being a wife.

3) I never said I "deserve". Now you're putting words in my mouth. You have to EARN a wife, just like you have to EARN a husband. See, this is what you don't understand about relationships which is why you will probably never get married. You just think you don't have to work on shit? We don't care about women's money, I grew up comfortably and will make sure that it continues. That's called putting in work. You on the other hand think you can just talk to others to just accept how you are without working on your repulsive attitude because you feel entitled to a husband. That's not how it works missy, and your life is an example of that. If you don't even want to get married, then you should not even be in this conversation.

[serious_miss419]

It’s just the internet. Chilllllllll

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

[2) You're 31 and unmarried, not even in a relationship. Don't talk to me about supporting a wife and a family when you yourself are not close to being a wife.]

what makes you think single women need men like single men need women? single women don't need a husband to start a family of her own. single women can have kids on her own if she wants.

Only men need wives to have kids. We don't. And quite often the men who never end up marrying never tend to have any children.

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

[You have to EARN a wife, just like you have to EARN a husband.]

thats what im saying. A man doesn't deserve to have a wife and kids if he cannot afford to support a wife and kids. Its that simple. You can't call yourself a provider when you can't be a provider.

[Datboi65]

No, you said "why should you deserve a wife and kids?" That's what you said, and I replied saying nobody "deserves" anything in life, they have to earn it. Your smart-ass over here thinking you can just make bs claims and then when someone counters it you just say "well that's what I said". No you didn't, you were talking to me directly as if I claimed to be entitled to having a wife and kids rather than working for it.

Also missy, you're not in the position of leverage here because you're OLD and men care about AGE. I already told you if you don't want to get married, then DON'T be in this discussion, it only makes you look more foolish. So now women don't need men for kids? Really? Why do we have sperm banks then? And all of these women who are single mothers out here complaining about how hard it is to be a single mother, taking government checks and their sons and daughters turning out to be criminals, drug dealers and prostitutes. But of course according to miss Haha456 over here women do a better job raising a child alone than in a family with a father. Lmao, go see a therapist for your delusions.

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

haha quite funny. what mkes you think your age doesn't matter?

I'm 27. I don't date men over 36.

Just wait till you hit your wall and see how many hot young girls will still go for you.

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

[So now women don't need men for kids? Really? Why do we have sperm banks then? And all of these women who are single mothers out here complaining about how hard it is to be a single mother, taking government checks and their sons and daughters turning out to be criminals, drug dealers and prostitutes.]

Only single men die alone with cats. Single women can start families of their own.

I make wayy too much money to need government welfare. I'm a rich single mom. I can afford to raise kids well without a husband. Rich women can do everything. Rich women don't need men. Rich single moms can afford IVF. Rich single moms can afford to send their kids to elite schools, ivy league colleges, live in rich neighborhoods.

My kids are too rich to need to be criminals.

there's nothing foolish about single women having kids. We are only embracing our natural gift to give birth. Women control reproduction, men don't. And we're not attracted to wrinkly, saggy, old men because they have subpar sperm. I dont want retarded kids.

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

you can claim young women like old saggy men. but its not true.

Marriage records indicate that vast majority of young women end up marrying men less than 10 years older than them.

[Haha456]

A man can't have kids without a wife. There are plenty of single men who die alone without children or family over the simple fact they could never find a wife.

Its better to be able to have kids and a family in life instead of dying alone without kids or family.

Men don't have a gift of giving life

[serious_miss419]

@Haha456 I love how you’re telling this guy what is up. He truly is cluless about us moms that can do it all without help from an inferior defensive egomaniac

[Haha456]

@serious_miss419

He likes to exaggerate that women can't live without men or husbands. Single moms have existed for thousands of years. Its not a new. Plenty of men abandoned their wives and kids 100 years ago and it still happens today.

The only difference is that today single moms have more money than ever before

Plenty of rich college educated single women looking to start families on their own

[Datboi65]

Actually, he can get an egg donor. However, it's both pointless and dumb. Your sorry ass cannot get a man, so you're out here trying to claim female superiority because women can give birth, but you don't mention that without sperm from a MAN you cannot fertilize an egg. Hell, you probably don't even have children yourself, so if you don't have kids then you have no business talking about "we can give birth and y'all cannot". If you don't want to get married, don't bring it up. It's interesting that the ones who claim they have no need for it are also the ones who talk about it the most.

Also, missy I don't know if you noticed but 30% of single mother households live in poverty compared to just 6% of married households. Single mother households lead in children who grow up to become criminals, thugs and prostitutes. Most of the incarcerated men and women come from single mothers. Compared to married women, single mothers themselves are more likely to be prostitutes or drug addicts. Listen, I can keep going all day. This is not an exaggeration, it's reality and you can't accept it because you wanna live in Lala land but in a few years you will realize that everything I told you applies. You may be old ma'am, but you're not wise.

[Datboi65]

@serious_miss419 Oh right, forgot about you. You're her spokesperson right? Her attorney? Don't worry about it, you can get some of it too.

So you're a single mother I heard, and you're 33. If you had half a brain you would know that it's not an ideal situation, but you know what? I'm gonna give you a bit of credit because I know what you're doing. You're not dumb, you're either delusional or you're putting a front to hide what you are dealing with by pretending it's all good. If it was all as easy as you claim, then perhaps you wouldn't need a support group. May be you would not feel the need to have code to stick by her side when someone comes after her nonsense. If you're thriving as you claim, why care?

You and your friend are being defensive because I told her to travel more, but then she came up saying some racist stuff about Africa and then calling everyone who disagreed with her a misogynist and your ass was defending her the entire time. The two of you are an example of how misery loves company, you keep feeding each other lies and bs to make yourselves feel better, insulting other people who tellvyou to travel, calling others inferior and so on. See, I don't have a problem with that. I just respond to arguments, not personal business. This is the internet, so don't mistake my passion for a topic for offense. Your friend can defend her own arguments and you can stay out of it, or you can start citing resources and links and I will take on both of your delusional selves.

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

you can't even afford an egg donor. you can't even afford to hire a surrogate. do you know how much that stuff costs? you will need to pay for the surrogate's food throughout the pregnancy, medical visits, hospital stay, epidural injections, food at the hospital, then later on you need to hire a nanny after birth.

All of this can cost up to almost a million dollars.

which is a sum that you will never ever have in your life.

Like I said, single men can't start families. Single women can start families.

Its better to be a single mother than some old lonely dude dying alone with cats.

Giving birth is a gift that you don't have. So shut the fuck up, jealous hater.

[Haha456]

@Datboi65

More women are choosing to have children on their own

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7P8I_b9d-0

Proof that single women are starting families on their own, without husbands.

The number of older, educated, single moms in the U. S. is on the rise, a trend that shows that many women are forgoing marriage, the traditional route to motherhood, to answer the call of their biological clock.

A recent study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) documented a 48 percent increase in births to unmarried women, aged 35-39, between 2007 and 2012. During the same period, births to unmarried moms aged 40-44 jumped by 29 percent.

news.miami.edu/.../...der-mothers-on-the-rise.html

Dramatic increase in the proportion of births outside of marriage in the United States from 1990 to 2016

www.childtrends.org/.../dramatic-increase-in-percentage-of-births-outside-marriage-among-whites-hispanics-and-women-with-higher-education-levels

[Haha456]

You can say that you have lifelong fertility. But lifelong fertility doesn't guarantee having any children. Plenty of single lonely old men spend their entire lives wishing and yearning for children end up dying alone with nobody. Children are a precious gift and as females we are lucky to be able to embrace being able to go give life.

[Guy13]

Male as family breadwinner is useless unless he is the spiritual leader of the home. The spiritual leader, In and Through Christ Jesus is what is necessary.
There’s lots of divorced former bread winners. Life at the Flesh level will never be fulfilling or eternally successful whether rich or poor.

[Summeroflove]

It’s not. If it is. She’s a gold digger

[Chazmatazz269]

Accumulated resources and/or the ability to accumulate resources is second only to physical attractiveness as the primary characteristics women seek. It’s such a close second that a tie is arguable. Both are rooted in evolutionary biology. So anyone who suggests otherwise is grossly ignorant or full of malarkey. We are dozens if not hundreds of generations away from those traits not being first and foremost to women with their full faculties. It may never happen.
Also, gold diggers come at every level of financial success, not just millionaires.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

I seriously don't think that's important about who makes more or less money in a relationship.

If that relationship or potential relationship is founded on such BS then that relationship is shallow, immature and weak to begin with.

The reality money is a means to survive and meet your needs, not to inflate your silly and fragile ego.

[ManHater]

I don't agree with your comments because if she wants kids and wants someone who can support the family while she is expecting then so be it but I know money should not be important but for the man to have a personal drive to do better in his life and improve the families' lifestyle is important. Going on vacation, saving up money for the kids education etc.. These are very important things for women and men to consider when dating and these things don't fall from tree's.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

The things you are saying are ideal, but not the norm across the world.

As long as the man has a job and is being productive, the right woman will be ok with that.

[Haha456]

@ManHater

no man can fully support his family one day. if all men could support their families like they once did in the 1950s, then there would be no wives or mothers working today.

[jorfan3]

Breadwinners are nice. Attractive wives are nice. But at the end of the day, neither are deal breakers.

My husband is currently injured and I'm thinking about taking on a second job.

He's still my breadwinner to me <3

[Assi2k]

This was so wholesome. You’re a great wife. ❤️

[jorfan3]

Awe, thanks ❤️

[Anonymous]

• In this day and age unless you have that $25-$30 and hour job or own a successful business chain it is common for both you and your woman to be working because the price of life is too high yes it’s important you’re financially stable and also if you plan to have kids you should already be stocking up on diapers and anything important but not all at once just here and there honestly though good luck

[exitseven]

I think that my wife could have made more money than me when we first got married and when we had our first son. Still, she stayed home with the baby and I worked a crappy sales job.

[Damian69]

My girlfriend makes more than I do. Do I get jealous sometimes? Of course, that's normal. But at the end of the day, who makes more is irrelevant, because it's not about money

[Dargil]

My step mother was a Professional Wife and Home maker.

[Aquariusmystery]

I mean as long as we have enough money when I’m on maternity leave then I don’t care who has more earnings. It’s our money not mine and his

[Bananas83]

My wife makes the money in our household, doesn't bother me at all. I have a full time job as well and I help contribute. It's all good as long as each other is happy.

[Jhunitor]

Not at all. As long as there is respect and she doesn't start to hold a grudge against me for not being the breadwinner.

[Anonymous]

People who say it's not important ignore the realities of human psychology (both men's AND women's).

[AydenHazor]

It's only important if you're worried about his fragile make ego

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

As long as you can provide all is fine. You don't have to be the main provider.

[Anonymous]

Not as much these days as it use to be.

[Iron_Man]

Important