I don't understand? How can u love someone day and the next they don't even want to know u. Ghosted? mme?

[Sarah2418]

I been with this bloke for a year now. We travel up to cairns together took us 2 months to get there. I then fly back home to sort my daughter out why he stayed there. We talked every day. 2 months later was meant to fly back up there. He watch me pack my bags on video call.16 days before leaving on Christmas day he sent a text sayin he sleep with someone else. And i need to fix myself up.. And nothing since. He has ghosted me since.. Knowing that my ticket was no refund. So lost 450. I was about to up my hole life for this bloke.. And he doesn't even care. He got me block. I can't get my head around it all.. I dont understand.. Why? Has he done this? Im more upset about losing our friendship? So was the last year just a big lie... ? It eatin at me.. I can't get it out of my head. I need help to understand why? l

Updates

+1 y

I don't understand how we where so close and now I can't even get him to answer. I'm more piss cause I thought we had a really good friendship. And I'm not the one that said I love you first it was him. This is really gettin to me.. Everyone say get over it. And I will in time but I was going to up my whole life..

Updates

+1 y

Why can't I get rip of this feeling I'm so shattered?

[Juneberry91]

Hi Sarah I understand the confusion & roller coaster emotions that come with this.

The reason why the man did this to you is because he’s immature, selfish & trying to brew strong emotions in you. This type of man (if I can even call him that) plays a power game to hurt, exhaust & weaken your Confidence so you would be easy pickings. This is testing waters in a bad way to see if you will tolerate his bad behavior when he comes back. This is how it works.

Phase 1: Love bomb & everything is perfectly wonderful & fun. Here he Establishes a strong bond with you. Play excessively taking you on dates or calling/txting you he is always around and he let you know he realy digs you.

Phase 2: he turns up the mean meter very slowly. This is where he Complements you and back hands you, changes current in his communication where he can be quite for 1-3 days with no answering. He is checking to see if he has you hooked enough so he can do phase 3.

Phase 3-Throw her away

This is a stage where he knows he has you hooked, He has put in a lot of time to create a bond and now he chooses to sever it. There’s no reason for a person that left you to tell them that they have found someone else and slept with them. He did that on purpose to hurt you and to make you not feel good enough. This is when the true power struggle begins when he’s brewing intense emotions and you, He wants to see what you do. Are you going to scramble and fix yourself up for him? When he comes back are you going to be a sexually more forward & turn a blind eye to his bad behavior. Are you going to be more obedient so he can stay around? This insecure man does this because he physically wants to see your anguished over him, He wants to know that he has power and control over your emotions. It makes him feel like a “man” a “player”.

Phase 4 -the quite

It doesn’t matter what you do your met with silence and eventually he blocks you. Now he has permanently removed himself & You are left with so many questions that cannot be answered. This is a stage where your anxiety and excessive thoughts take over.

Phase 5 -he comes back

It’s been enough time where you start to recover… You’re moving on but then these guys have incredible timing…. OK text message saying “hey you, how have you been?”

a call where he apologizes for what he did, and say he was just so scared because he likes you so much that he just sabotage him self.

This is the phase where you need to make it very clear that you have lost interest in him. He is hoping for you to throw yourself at him chase him fix yourself up in order to keep him.

Beautiful Sarah let me tell you… He has not worth the pain and struggle and tears! A healthy man that truly cares about you will never leave you guessing, He will never ask you to fix yourself up or he will accept you for how you are now. A healthy male will communicate with you & not play a power game with your person.

My best advice for you Is to block this guy social media and number back so when he does reach out you’re gone. And you also won’t be tempted to reply. This allows you when you get to the stage we are starting to feel better and moving on that you won’t be sucked back in. My advice for you to take care of yourself, Hang out with your friends and go on adventures, attempt to date other guys if you feel up to it. Jump into your hobby’s. Those are all healing things that will help remove him from your mind.

good luck 🍀 and I’m rooting for you Sarah

[Sarah2418]

Thank you so much
Well there 2130 kms between us it 18 drive..
Everything he said was a lie.. He just used me.. . I never get treated like this again.. The ghosting and he so far away. I just can't go tell him to... . He been my best mate the last year. I had some a lot of stuff happen to me. My daughter and I got home invasion by 3 people.. They broken ribs.. . Moved home to parents. But still had my place but didn't go back t here only to pack . 4 months later.. Got new place. Then meet him.. He becomes everything to me.. Cause I knew me and my daughter was safe while he was here. And I could sleep.. And I had court comin cause my case when to trial.. And that drag out. . He gave me hope and made me start to believe again. All for what? I never done or did anything to him but he there. Sorry goin on.. This is really hurting me.. I can't believe someone when be so fake I was nothin to him.. Sorry

[kylee2437]

Sounds like a relationship that took up a lot of effort to begin with. He was probably tooling around anyways but guilt kicked in with this specific hook up.

[Paul09]

He never loved, maybe just used you. You picked a bad boy. He will get what's coming for him. Takes years to really know someone.

[LiamJHayden]

Sorry. That sucks. The truth is he never really cared about you, but only about how he felt when you were around.

[Anonymous]

This doesn't surprise me. So many men just use women.

[Iron_Man]

Anger issues

[Sarah2418]

I have a lot anger issues now..

[Iron_Man]

Sorry

[Sarah2418]

Your right... I am just so hurt..