So my boyfriend and I had a small issue last Wednesday. He initially told me he was feeling better but that he still misses his deceased cat. Before I go on I’m going to say that my boyfriend and I always joke around with eachother. So I told him in a joking manner “ I’m going to go out with friends and see what happens “ but then I said I was joking, and he got mad. 3 days happen and he texts me on his birthday which was on a Sunday, and he message’s me saying “ you acted like a asshole towards me, you knew I was going through a sad time, and you come and tell me something stupid , I’m sorry I know we joke around, but when you’re going through a hard time I talk to you, I treat you good, but I don’t tell you stupid shit like you do. I’m not breaking up with you I’m just telling you the truth. One more thing you don’t have to answer me today you can answer me next week or in two weeks , in a month or if you like next year “. I replied back an hour later when I filled down because I didn’t want to say something I was going to regret when I was getting kinda mad. Like I said I replied to him and told him in the message “ I didn’t know you were was still sad, you told me you were feeling better but that you were missing your cat still. I’m a human being I make mistakes I’m not perfect, but even if I made a mistake that doesn’t mean you have to come and tell me shit when I didn’t know if you were still sad or not. Like you said im not breaking up with you im just stating facts. I’m not perfect I make mistakes” and he just left me on read. I haven’t heard from him in 4 days, I don’t know what to do anymore.
What do I do in this situation?
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I'm really sorry you're dealing with this. This sucks.
Frankly, I don't think this is such a small issue. This seems like a pretty big issue. And he made it bigger.
You asked "what do I do." You may not like my answer, but I think you move on. For several reasons.
First, he WAAAAAAAAAAY overreacted. It is possible if I were drunk and listening to loud music and squinting that I might say you shouldn't have said what you said. But, actually, if it went down the way you wrote it, you were trying to be lighthearted and make a joke. And he lost it. In an absurdly over the top fashion. Like, I love cats. I get it. But I wouldn't act like that. Most rational people I know wouldn't.
Next, he sulked. Adults don't do that. Well, at least not for days. He sulked and pouted and held a grudge. And allowed it to overshadow is birthday. Duh.
Finally, he's left you on read.
So, maybe it sounds extreme for me to say move on, but in my mind he's not willing to communicate in an adult fashion. I've seen middle schoolers with better communication and conflict resolution skills than this. This was about a cat and a joke. What happens when you two are married and a real issue comes up?
Honestly I believe he did overreact about it instead of sitting you down and having a meaningful conversation or calling you over. On the other hand I think your joke was a bit insensitive as he probably loved his pet deeply. My opinion on this is you should know when to joke around and when not to as that was an actual issue that he was dealing with. The advice I would give you is just call him and meet up with him somewhere to have a talk on what you both did wrong and how you can move past it. Remember to both apologizes.
Well sounds like you owe him a apology? I would call or text him ask him to meet you for lunch at a place you normally go. Get him a new little kitten. Place it in a box write on the outside of the box in big letters using a permanent marker. Please take care of my baby as i am unemployed and homeless. Just before your ready to leave tell him that you have to use the ladies room go you your car and put the box on the hood of the car. Sounds like he needs a new friend. But thinks he's not ready