Anyone that places ultimatums, should be given the boot. I dare anyone to try that one me and I don't care about my age. I'd rather prefer being single than with someone that has the foot out the door any time.
It's one thing to want to take care of yourself by your own will and your partner to help you but another to say ''do that or else I'm breaking up''. I hate that. I've been through that before and it's horrible to ever feel you're at the mercy of someone.
Duh. It's not like it's an unreasonable request since it's directly tied to health and lifespan. Of course, I already want to keep a healthy weight and build a lot of muscle and strength, so I'm not going to ever get any complaints. I suppose if a girl demended I drop to 6% bodyfat I'd be refusing, especially if she is overweight. But other than that unlikely scenario, why not?
nobody is denying that being obese is undesirable. What is undesirable is the disgusting way in which her "boyfriend" is being emotionally abusive to her about her weight. And his absuvie asshole approach is likely a reason why she has put on weight by wittling away her self confidence & leading to insecurities, etc.
If he was a DECENT or RESPECTABLE human being after all he would SUPPORT her in losing weight. He'd suggest going for walks together. He'd suggest going to the gym together.
But he's NOT a decent or respectable human being. He's a bully. He's an abuser. All in all, a loser.
@BigWhiteWolf87 Hmmm did her question get updated and edited? I answered a question that asked if I would lose weight if my SO asked me to. I'm not sure what all this stuff is about some guy being an asshole since it wasn't there when I answered several days ago.
Your BMI is 28. You fall in the overweight category. Even if you choose to break up with your boyfriend over this, you are already a risk to yourself. You need to work on yourself as soon as you can.
I don't like the accepting-your-body-no-matter-how-it-is movement. It does not work like that. If it is in your control, you should see to it that you remain healthy.
If you get fat again, which you will from time to time, you just need to start working again. You, like all other people, will need to constantly keep working out for you to remain fit. It is a constant effort.
nobody is denying that being obese is undesirable. What is undesirable is the disgusting way in which her "boyfriend" is being emotionally abusive to her about her weight. And his absuvie asshole approach is likely a reason why she has put on weight by wittling away her self confidence & leading to insecurities, etc.
If he was a DECENT or RESPECTABLE human being after all he would SUPPORT her in losing weight. He'd suggest going for walks together. He'd suggest going to the gym together.
But he's NOT a decent or respectable human being. He's a bully. He's an abuser. All in all, a loser.
You know the terms and keeping a weight is by far easier than working it off, if you are lazy and accumulate it. So just see it as a goal and make sure he has the same conditions. Ie you shouldn't need deal with a fat husband if he can't handle you gaining weight.
A really difficult question to answer. Had a male friend, who stayed very fit and thin, and he told his wife he would embarrass his wife if she got 'fat'. I played tennis with her several times, and he resented her doing that, which was a way to stay fit and lean. At 5' 1" and 150 lbs that is probably not a 'healthy' weight, but you must decide that for yourself. Really not comfortable giving you a good answer for your question, as I don't know anything about you or your friend.
you need a better boyfriend that like you for who you are and not what you look like. Weight gaian is very common for many reasons. it helps to figure out why, and then try to resolve that reason, which, might be your current boyfriend. What happens as you get older, changes happen thaat you can not do anything about. How will he handle that? Kick his sorry ass to the curb and move on.
LMAO 🤣 Oh my god. For real with this guy? He acts like he’s the picture perfect of health and he had the fucking gall to say that? What a fucking joke 😂 Girl, just leave him. He already has his mind set on leaving you. I mean, sure you want to take care of yourself. But, to make you feel scared to gain the tiniest bit of weight? Not worth staying with him.
I don’t believe in breaking up for crazy situation, but if you had a baby naturally your body is not just gonna snap back into place and it is OK to take your time but he doesn’t wanna do is make you go into a depression just because a fucking weight, and if it’s his child, I would be even more furious. Let him go and you will lose weight on your own time not with pressure. Your hormones have changed. Everything’s changed.
Let’s be honest, he already has his mind set on leaving her anyway. If you’re going to say this to your partner where they’re scared to gain weight, you might as well just leave right now.
If you want to lose weight because YOU want to be thinner, do it, but don't accept an ultimatum. If you like how you look, and he doesn't, show him where the door is. Don't "convince yourself" you really want to lose weight for you either, and stay with him because of that. Everyone is telling you it's just the start of the controlling and manipulation, and they're correct.
I do not know what the height and weight equates to in feet and pounds but it doesn't matter my answer would be the same. I think you should break up with him immediately. JMO good luck!
Time for you to pack up and go. If he’s saying his willing to break up with you just cause of your weight, imagine what he will ask of you later. Im sure he’ll control when you eat and poop when given the chance.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
1 y
YES
Its unlikely to happen with my waist of 30 inches, but the future's the future. I'd want to keep my partner interested in me or she could cheat/breakup.
Asking a partner to improve is a lifeline to save their relationship; if I or anyone else ignores it, we have chosen our own fate...
0
1 Reply
Opinion Owner
1 y
Sorry, I though the question was, "Would you lose weight if your partner asked you to?" My answer still applies.
I would consider a partners desire for my fitness to be extra motivation but that's only because I myself want to be more fit and already exercise towards that goal.
If you have no motivation yourself this is only going to be a reason for drama between you.
If a girlfriend or wife wanted me to lose weight, it’d depend on why. If I was like incredibly over weight and she cared about me and didn’t threaten to break up then I’d definitely try to lose it. But if she’s like saying lose it in order for her to stay with me then I’d break up. But that’s just me.
I'd say your boyfriend is very rude and childish. If he was just watching out for your weight for health reasons, that's good. However, he is only wanting you to lose weight out of "beauty" as what you're saying there.
It's just something a guy should say. He could suggest that you both start eating healthier and go for walks, but don't threaten to break up for that reason.
If I was you, I would end that Relationship right this second , That is manipulative and controlling , people like him need a fucking wake up call , I wouldn’t tolerate that nonsense from anyone
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Anyone that places ultimatums, should be given the boot. I dare anyone to try that one me and I don't care about my age. I'd rather prefer being single than with someone that has the foot out the door any time.
It's one thing to want to take care of yourself by your own will and your partner to help you but another to say ''do that or else I'm breaking up''. I hate that. I've been through that before and it's horrible to ever feel you're at the mercy of someone.
That person is basically making you feel that they can walk away and replace you so easily. Please make him your ex boyfriend ASAP.
“He said he would break up if I can not lose my weight cause he want to have a girlfriend who is beautiful inside and out side”
Leave him and return his words. Only he’s icky on the inside for giving you an ultimatum. He’ controlling and shallow.
Duh. It's not like it's an unreasonable request since it's directly tied to health and lifespan. Of course, I already want to keep a healthy weight and build a lot of muscle and strength, so I'm not going to ever get any complaints. I suppose if a girl demended I drop to 6% bodyfat I'd be refusing, especially if she is overweight. But other than that unlikely scenario, why not?
nobody is denying that being obese is undesirable. What is undesirable is the disgusting way in which her "boyfriend" is being emotionally abusive to her about her weight. And his absuvie asshole approach is likely a reason why she has put on weight by wittling away her self confidence & leading to insecurities, etc.
If he was a DECENT or RESPECTABLE human being after all he would SUPPORT her in losing weight. He'd suggest going for walks together. He'd suggest going to the gym together.
But he's NOT a decent or respectable human being. He's a bully. He's an abuser. All in all, a loser.
@BigWhiteWolf87 Hmmm did her question get updated and edited? I answered a question that asked if I would lose weight if my SO asked me to.
I'm not sure what all this stuff is about some guy being an asshole since it wasn't there when I answered several days ago.
Your BMI is 28. You fall in the overweight category. Even if you choose to break up with your boyfriend over this, you are already a risk to yourself. You need to work on yourself as soon as you can.
I don't like the accepting-your-body-no-matter-how-it-is movement. It does not work like that. If it is in your control, you should see to it that you remain healthy.
If you get fat again, which you will from time to time, you just need to start working again. You, like all other people, will need to constantly keep working out for you to remain fit.
It is a constant effort.
nobody is denying that being obese is undesirable. What is undesirable is the disgusting way in which her "boyfriend" is being emotionally abusive to her about her weight. And his absuvie asshole approach is likely a reason why she has put on weight by wittling away her self confidence & leading to insecurities, etc.
If he was a DECENT or RESPECTABLE human being after all he would SUPPORT her in losing weight. He'd suggest going for walks together. He'd suggest going to the gym together.
But he's NOT a decent or respectable human being. He's a bully. He's an abuser. All in all, a loser.
You know the terms and keeping a weight is by far easier than working it off, if you are lazy and accumulate it. So just see it as a goal and make sure he has the same conditions. Ie you shouldn't need deal with a fat husband if he can't handle you gaining weight.
A really difficult question to answer. Had a male friend, who stayed very fit and thin, and he told his wife he would embarrass his wife if she got 'fat'. I played tennis with her several times, and he resented her doing that, which was a way to stay fit and lean.
At 5' 1" and 150 lbs that is probably not a 'healthy' weight, but you must decide that for yourself. Really not comfortable giving you a good answer for your question, as I don't know anything about you or your friend.
you need a better boyfriend that like you for who you are and not what you look like.
Weight gaian is very common for many reasons.
it helps to figure out why, and then try to resolve that reason, which, might be your current boyfriend.
What happens as you get older, changes happen thaat you can not do anything about.
How will he handle that?
Kick his sorry ass to the curb and move on.
LMAO 🤣 Oh my god. For real with this guy? He acts like he’s the picture perfect of health and he had the fucking gall to say that? What a fucking joke 😂 Girl, just leave him. He already has his mind set on leaving you. I mean, sure you want to take care of yourself. But, to make you feel scared to gain the tiniest bit of weight? Not worth staying with him.
I don’t believe in breaking up for crazy situation, but if you had a baby naturally your body is not just gonna snap back into place and it is OK to take your time but he doesn’t wanna do is make you go into a depression just because a fucking weight, and if it’s his child, I would be even more furious. Let him go and you will lose weight on your own time not with pressure. Your hormones have changed. Everything’s changed.
https://bmicalc.org/resources/overweight
You are overweight. Your body your decision ONLY.
HOWEVER, his deal is NOT a bad one. Tell him he has to give up smoking and severely curtail drinking!
Let’s be honest, he already has his mind set on leaving her anyway. If you’re going to say this to your partner where they’re scared to gain weight, you might as well just leave right now.
I honestly believe people who threaten their partner like this already have someone lined up.
Ya, you're right. Threats are NEVER GOOD!
If you want to lose weight because YOU want to be thinner, do it, but don't accept an ultimatum. If you like how you look, and he doesn't, show him where the door is. Don't "convince yourself" you really want to lose weight for you either, and stay with him because of that. Everyone is telling you it's just the start of the controlling and manipulation, and they're correct.
I do not know what the height and weight equates to in feet and pounds but it doesn't matter my answer would be the same. I think you should break up with him immediately. JMO good luck!
Time for you to pack up and go. If he’s saying his willing to break up with you just cause of your weight, imagine what he will ask of you later. Im sure he’ll control when you eat and poop when given the chance.
YES
Its unlikely to happen with my waist of 30 inches, but the future's the future. I'd want to keep my partner interested in me or she could cheat/breakup.
Asking a partner to improve is a lifeline to save their relationship; if I or anyone else ignores it, we have chosen our own fate...
Sorry, I though the question was, "Would you lose weight if your partner asked you to?" My answer still applies.
The answer is simple. Dump his ass and go live your best life however that looks.
Don't waste another minute with this guy
I would consider a partners desire for my fitness to be extra motivation but that's only because I myself want to be more fit and already exercise towards that goal.
If you have no motivation yourself this is only going to be a reason for drama between you.
If a girlfriend or wife wanted me to lose weight, it’d depend on why. If I was like incredibly over weight and she cared about me and didn’t threaten to break up then I’d definitely try to lose it. But if she’s like saying lose it in order for her to stay with me then I’d break up. But that’s just me.
I'd say your boyfriend is very rude and childish. If he was just watching out for your weight for health reasons, that's good. However, he is only wanting you to lose weight out of "beauty" as what you're saying there.
Tell him you will lose the weight if he'll let you have an open relationship. That will shut his trap.
Good answer, "Gummy"
@Bricealan
It's just something a guy should say. He could suggest that you both start eating healthier and go for walks, but don't threaten to break up for that reason.
That would be the RIGHT approach, as you say, try to help her if she is open to that.
@Bricealan
Yes, but make it about both of you so she doesn't feel singled out.
Yeah, and like a lot of men like that, he probably has a 'spare tire"!!!
@Bricealan
Probably. They need to make it a team effort.
If I was you, I would end that Relationship right this second , That is manipulative and controlling , people like him need a fucking wake up call , I wouldn’t tolerate that nonsense from anyone